I'm back again. Was taking a break from computer stuff, then had a pwoer outage for three days. Just been trying to spend more time offline.
I was doing pretty good, but the past week things just got worse. I feel so worthless, so meaningless. Been trying to make new friends, it hasn't been working out too well. Either I can talk to them about interests and stuff, but we're not close, or I feel close to them, but they don't share my interests, or they don't really talk back to me. I'm pretty sure most of my friends don't like me. Just everything feels so hopeless. I don't know how anyone will ever like me or love me or deal with me, how I'll ever find friends I can feel close to, who share my interests, who will be able to be the friends I need. And now today suicidal thoughts started developing. Not thoughts of killing myself, but thoughts of how I"m meaningless, and if I died noone would care or miss me, and thinking about why don't I just do it, because nothing will ever get better. I hate these thoughts.