Rules of the games

[Bobtheduck]

Is there a "video game laws of physics" list like there is for anime and movies? If not, I have some things to say.

1. Every hero, no matter how strong and well armed, can be stopped by a chain link fence or a 2 foot stump if it increases the challenge or makes the game longer.
a. "Absolutely nothing" is even better at stopping a scared hero.
2. All large machines take repeated explostions and bulletholes to be brought to a halt. Many are invincible.
3. People who don't fight back when you steal their car will speak their peace and forget the incident.


That's all I got right now... Any additions? I suppose it all depends on game Genre, but that didn't stop people from making those lists about movies and anime...

[Da Rabid Duckie]

Law of RPG Generosity -- People usually don't mind you rummaging through their trashcans, cupboards, chests, cabinets, etc (does not apply in Morrowind as well as some places in KotOR) while looking for items.

[Htom Sirveaux]

Law Of Ellipses (...)
A character can say "..." and it can mean absolutely anything depending on the circumstances. Anything from "no, not really" to "why is there a halibut sticking out of your trousers?"

[cbwing0]

1.Law of odds-If you are the pilot of an incredibly powerful space fighter, be prepared to face 1,000:1 odds, as well as several large fish creatures, robots, and floating brains. Also, assume that you are mankind's last hope, as the military only had the time to build one miracle ship.

2.Law of healing-Drinking the red liquid can heal anything from missing limbs to broken bones, to minor scratches.

3.Law of restoration-Drinking the blue liquid will instanstly restore your magical powers/intelligence.

4.Law of the wingman-In the rare instance that you have the support of a wingman, assume that he is completely incompetent, and that his death will end the mission, even if you could still complete your objective singlehandedly.

5.Law of escorts-If you commander ever asks you to rescue, escort, or assist any force, decline...Please!

[uc pseudonym]

I have very few at the moment, as I haven't given this a great deal of thought. A good topic, however.

1. Law of RPG Attacks: you can be shot by a gun and apparently take little damage.

2. Law of the Cutscene: characters who can be ressurected hundreds of times in a battle can be killed by a single strike within a cutscene, and cannot be brought back.

3. Law of Transformation: if it only had one form, it wasn't the final boss.

4. Repetition Law of Repetition: most people have only one thing to say, and wish to say this frequently.

5. Law of Friendliness: walking up to anyone will cause them to give you completely irrelevant information about themselves or surrounding events.

[TheMelodyMaker]

About platformers:

- Law of gravity. No matter how far a video game hero falls, one is never killed as long as there is something to land on.

- Law of potential energy. Video game heroes never get tired however long they run for.

(Now, should I spoil it by saying that the laws are whatever the programmers say they are? I know this firsthand. )

[Htom Sirveaux]

Adding to TheMelodyMaker's Platformer Law of Gravity:

The "Surface Damage" Clause:

If a character lands on something harmful (e.g. spikes or hot coals), said character will take some degree of damage, but will more or less be alright provided the character finds a health-up soon.

*Sub-article A: If an enemy happens to be directly below, the character can land right on top of said enemy and take damage, while the enemy remains unharmed.

*Sub-article B: If the character lands while making use of an "invincible" power-up, all of the above rules are null and void; character will take no damage whatsoever.

[Saint Kevin]

Law of the Invisible Wall: Invisible forcefields can be assumed in nearly every genre, including, but not limited to: Shooters, platformers, RPGs, racers, but not sports games.

Law of Perpetual Finality: If something is supposed "Final," or "Ultimate," you can almost always assume a sequel. Not just for game titles, but also for plots that claim to be the final resolution or ultimate battle. Just assume whatever you do now will be undone in a sequel in a totally unbelievable way.

Law of Random Battle Necessity: If you are playing an RPG with random battles, automatically assume you will never beat the game unless you devoted more than a few hours toward random, pointless battles. If not for this law, many Rpgs would have only lasted slightly over an hour or three. Soon to be replaced by the Law of Sidequest Necessity.

Law of the Invincible Racer: Now matter what you crash into, at what speed, if you are driving a car with a brand name, it will never blow up, never flip or roll, and never take any significant damage. This is a serious law. Car companies don't want their cars looking unsafe, but this is ridiculous.

Law of the Invincible Pedestrian: Unless the game has an M rating, you will never, ever, ever hit a pedestrian now matter how hard you try.

[cbwing0]

I thought of a couple more:

1.Law of car invincibility-If you are driving a replica of an actual licensed car in a video game, relax: it will never take/show damage of any kind. Exception: Nascars

2.Law of impalement-If you are in a fighting game, your character may be run through with a sword, spear, ax, etc., yet still live and fight in top condition.

3.Law of Battle Experience-As you grow in strength, you will still gain valuable fighting experience, even when vanquishing enemies that you have killed hundreds of times, and that require no real effort to kill.

4.Law of Patience-If a battle gets too intense, simply run until your enemies are no longer on the screen. Don't worry: they will wait patiently in their place while you rest, heal, buy items, etc.

[MasterDias]

Here's a few RPG ones.

Hey, I Know You!
You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members:
The spunky princess who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero.
The demure, soft-spoken female mage and healing magic specialist who is not only in love with the hero, but is also the last survivor of an ancient race.
The tough-as-nails female warrior who is not in love with the hero (note that this is the only female character in the game who is not in love with the hero and will therefore be indicated as such by having a spectacular scar, a missing eye, cyborg limbs or some other physical deformity)
The achingly beautiful gothy swordsman who is riven by inner tragedy.
The big, tough, angry guy who, deep down, is a total softy.
The hero's best friend, who is actually much cooler than the hero.
The grim, selfish mercenary who over the course of the game learns what it means to really care about other people.
The character who is actually a spy for the bad guys but will instantly switch to your side when you find out about it.
The weird bonus character who requires a bizarre series of side quests to make them effective (with the ultimate result that no player ever uses this character if it can be avoided.)
The nauseatingly cute mascot who is useless in all battles.

Hey, I Know You, Too!
You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists:
The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain.
The villain's loyal right-hand man, who comes in two versions: humorously incompetent or annoyingly persistent.
The villain's attractive female henchman, who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, fallen in love with the hero.
Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness.
The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party.
The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue.
The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.)
The adorably cute li'l creature or six year old child who fights you and, inexplicably, kicks your butt time after time.

Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.

The Compulsories
There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.

Selective Paralysis
Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.

Zelda's Axiom
Whenever somebody tells you about "the five ancient talismans" or "the nine legendary crystals" or whatever, you can be quite confident that Saving the World will require you to go out and find every last one of them.

Fodor's Guide Rule
In the course of your adventure you will visit one desert city, one port town, one mining town, one casino city, one magic city (usually flying), one medieval castle kingdom, one clockwork city, one martial arts-based community, one thieves' slum, one lost city and one sci-fi utopia. On the way you'll also get a chance to see the cave with rocks that glow from a natural energy source, the village populated with nonhuman characters, the peaceful village where everyone knows the latest news about the hero's quest, the snow village, the magical forest/lake/mountain, the shop in the middle of nowhere, the fantastic-looking place with lots of FMVs just showing your entrance, the subtropical jungle island populated by friendly natives, the annoying cavern maze, and a place -- any place -- that was destroyed in some past disaster.

Maginot Line Rule
It is easy to tell which city/nation is the next conquest of the Evil Empire: its streets are filled with citizens who brag that the Empire would never dare attack them, and would be easily defeated if it tried. (This smug nationalism always fails to take into account the Empire's new superweapon.)

Friendly Fire Principle (or, Final Fantasy Tactics Rule)
Any attack that can target both allies and enemies will hit half of your allies and none of your enemies. Healing spells, by contrast, will preferentially target the enemy boss.

Child Protection Act (Rydia Rule)
Children 12 and under are exempt from death. They will emerge alive from cataclysms that slaughter hundreds of sturdily-built adults, often with barely a scratch. Further protection is afforded if the catastrophe will orphan the child.

Law of NPC Relativity (Magus Rule)
Characters can accomplish superhuman physical feats, defeat enemies with one hand tied behind their back and use incredible abilities -- until they join your party and you can control them. Then these wonderful powers all vanish, along with most of their hit points.

Guards! Guards! (or, Lindblum Full Employment Act)
Everything will be guarded and gated (elevators, docks, old rickety bridges, random stretches of roadway deep in the forest) except for the stuff that actually needs to be

"So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
You will have to kill the evil villain at least twice at the end of the game. First the villain will look like a person or some creature and be rather easy to kill. Then he will grow to about 50 times the hero's size and be much harder to kill.

Luke, I Am Your Tedious, Overused Plot Device
If there is any chance whatsoever that major villain X could be the male lead's father, then it will turn out that major villain X is the male lead's father.

[Bobtheduck]

This guide could be considered "A guide to originality in Video Games"

A collection of things that tend to happen in EVERY video game, ready for the creative to oppose. Just a thought.

I hope to get a team for my Game Project that will agree to a Parody game. If taht's the case, I'm going to have to have Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb in the game, and you have to escort them for like a hallway or something. I think the main character of the game should say "I HATE escort missions." then at least adam (if not adam and morgan) gets hit by a train or something (but not killed) and as he's being carried away (by the force of the blow), he says "X-play gives horrible survivor... a 2 out of 5"

If you hadn't guessed, I want to make a survival horror parody... And the Adam Sessler/Morgan Webb scene is going to spoof on Silent Hill 2 (the maria escort) and 3 (the subway thing) in the same breath. Also, if that is the project we end up working on (I mean, it's just MY idea so I'd have to find a group that would listen to my idea) I would try to get soundbytes from Adam and Morgan... It's a REALLY LONG SHOT but it would be worth a try.

Anyone have any rules of survival horror?

1. Long corridoors are ALWAYS home to nasty things.

That's all I got for now. Let's see more!

Luke, I Am Your Tedious, Overused Plot Device
If there is any chance whatsoever that major villain X could be the male lead's father, then it will turn out that major villain X is the male lead's

That's a crack at Chrono Cross, isn't it... The REST of the game rocked, and there were other aspects of Lynx and Serge that were more interesting.

[uc pseudonym]

Law of Dragon Warrior: you can learn magic spells simply by whacking enemies with blunt objects.

[Zilch]

More game staples:

If there is any type of horrible accident, it's the goevernment's fault and they will promptly try to kill anyone in the area(i.e: YOU!)

If a 345-foot-tall monster steps on you, you will not come out of it looking like a pancake. Side effects include: Your body flashes red, you make some sort of squeaking noise, and you lose about 1/4 of your health

You can easily kill any type of soldier with about 3 shots to the foot. Amazing, huh?

You can carry over 40 guns without ever slowing down(once again, Morrowind is an exception).

[Htom Sirveaux]

In platformers or side-scrollers, there is ALWAYS an ice level. Always. It's simply not debatable.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot one.

RPG Law of Hit Probability:
No matter how big an enemy (or even a boss) may be, it is still possible to miss when attacking it.

[MasterDias]

That's a crack at Chrono Cross, isn't it... The REST of the game rocked, and there were other aspects of Lynx and Serge that were more interesting.

Actually, yes it is. Originally it had (Lynx Rule) after the title of it. I deleted that to avoid posting spoilers but, ah, what the heck...

Here are some more:

Sleepyhead Rule
The teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.

"No! My beloved peasant village!"
The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.

Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)

Crono's Complaint
The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.

Bed Bed Bed
A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.

Heads I Win, Tails You Lose (Grahf Rule)
It doesn't matter that you won the fight with the boss monster; the evil task he was trying to carry out will still get accomplished somehow. Really, you might as well not have bothered.

Fake Ending
There will be a sequence which pretends to be the end of the game but obviously isn't -- if for no other reason than because you're still on Disk 1 of 4

Not Invented Here
Trade of technology will not exist. One place in the world will have all the techno-gadgets while all the others will be harvesting dirt.

¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.

Zidane's Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.

Thousand Year Rule
The Ancient Evil returns to savage the land every thousand years on the dot, and the last time it showed up was just about 999.9875 years ago. Despite their best efforts, heroes of the past were never able to do more than seal the Evil away again for the future to deal with (which brings up the question of just how exactly does this "sealing away" work anyway, but never mind.) The good news is that this time, the Evil will get destroyed permanently. The bad news is that you're the one who's going to have to do it.

Magical Inequality Theorem
In the course of your travels you may find useful-sounding spells such as Petrify, Silence, and Instant Death. However, you will end up never using these spells in combat because a) all ordinary enemies can be killed with a few normal attacks, making fancy attacks unneccessary, b) all bosses and other stronger-than-average monsters are immune to those effects so there's no point in using them for long fights where they'd actually come in handy, and c) the spells usually don't work anyway.

Magical Inequality Corollary
When the enemy uses Petrify, Silence, Instant Death, et cetera spells on you, they will be effective 100% of the time.

Supply and Demand Axiom
Killing a powerful enemy will usually yield an item or weapon that would've been extremely useful if you had gotten it before killing that enemy.

You Do Not Talk About Fight Club
Any fighting tournament or contest of skill you hear about, you will eventually be forced to enter and win.

Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.

Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough

[Bobtheduck]

ooops... sorry bout the spoiler... That was a big mistake... How could I have said it "spoilerized?" Say <spoiler=Chrono Cross>Since you know it's chrono cross it's just putting two and two together</spoiler>

Oh well... There aren't that many people who haven't played CC yet who will play it anytime in the future... It wasn't all that popular of a game (because it was more confusing than it's rather straightforward predecessor just like another game series, Kojima... I mean, I loved MGS2, but many fans of MGS didn't like it... I wonder how many fans of Metal Gear from MSX hated MGS2?)

That plot point isn't the main one, since both of the games really revolve around another character... Won't say who that is, but he/she is the most important element of the Chrono series.

[Htom Sirveaux]

Bobtheduck
I wonder how many fans of Metal Gear from MSX hated MGS2?)

One word: Raiden.

[Azier the Swordsman]

The Law of Superman
RPG characters can easily withstand massive damage; such as a meteorite falling on them or being struck by tons of bolts of lightning; ect. that would otherwise instantly wipe any normal human being out of existence.

[Bobtheduck]

Raiden was thrown in, I heard, because he was girly and pathetic and people were getting this high off of being Solid Snake, and things were getting too predictable... Basically MGS2 was there to show us that we really don't know what's going to happen and it's not nearly as predictable as everyone thought. It's game four... I mean, most part 4's suck in storyline, even though I actually liked MGS2. But, I should say, most fans don't like part 4's... It's just most american fans didn't know it was part 4. The "2" in the title is really mileading... In any case, Kojima did that to prove exactly who was in control of the game... Kojima. He took it in those directions because it was HIS project and he could. I loved (almost) every minute of it...