pulse

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pulse

Postby Mithrandir » Thu Oct 23, 2003 11:14 am

a quickened pulse gives no regard
to quiet solice: interred - barred

active, garish, running, rushing
quells the quiet act of hushing

onward pushed, implusive choices
fail to still the harried voices

panic now - the pulse beats faster
Work to see the peace hereafter

now a blur, no time for thought
still the pain of speed not caught

fleeting fancies - pulse indulges
now collapse amidst the buldges

now collapse the shell unable
to attain the great One's table

finally - as drive recedes
hear the wisdom silence breathes.
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Postby Gypsy » Thu Oct 23, 2003 11:35 am

Wow. I'm no great judge of poetry, but I thought that was excellent. You really get the sense of near panic and then a wash of peace at the end.
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Thu Oct 23, 2003 12:24 pm

I'm lousy at poetry, but I really enjoyed reading yours. :) It constantly made me feel as though I was taking a stilted breath, pausing, and then exhaling. BTW did you mean to spell "recedes" and "breathes" the way you did?

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

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Postby Mithrandir » Thu Oct 23, 2003 12:47 pm

lol. About the worst part of my grasp of english involves spelling. All things concidered, two words isn't that bad. I'll go change them.

Thanks!
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Postby Matthew » Thu Oct 23, 2003 1:04 pm

Very good indeed! Do you have any other works? I'd like to read them if you do.
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Postby Razgriz » Thu Oct 23, 2003 1:10 pm

It's very good indeed. :thumb:
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Postby Mithrandir » Thu Oct 23, 2003 1:23 pm

Thanks! :red:

I have some other stuff I've written. I acutally lost about 5 years worth of poetry when my journal disappeared. The long and short of that is that my site with my poetry/songs has the really old stuff (sucky) and the really new stuff (not as sucky). If you want to read more, head to:
http://www.flactem.com/ and click on 'Ocelot Poetry.' (2nd line down under "Kevin's Links.")

If you see something you think I should post, let me know. I may post it here for comments.
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