Dating...um

[armeck]

I personally wouldn't recommended you getting engaged at your age.

[Davidizer13]

Actually I have been engaged 3 times but one died from cancer one died from suicide and another was murdered. And now this one got hit by a car I am just bad luck.

Wait, wait, what? You've been engaged three times already? With the diamond ring and the kneeling down and everything? Before 16? I don't want to sound callous or anything, but that doesn't sound right at all. Armeck's right, you've got better things to do than thinking about getting married right now.

[akorecki1]

Wait, wait, what? You've been engaged three times already? With the diamond ring and the kneeling down and everything? Before 16? I don't want to sound callous or anything, but that doesn't sound right at all. Armeck's right, you've got better things to do than thinking about getting married right now.

I know but they spent so much money and they were really sweet. And every guy i date gets hurt real bad or dies and i cant help but feeling its my fault

[HetalianKatana4]

*leans on hand* I can't seem to say anything without it being "wrong". My interpretation on the verse is based on what I was taught growing up. You all can take it however you want.

Wait...you were actually engaged? 3 times, too? I don't want to be insensitive, but...I don't know whether to believe that or not...

[akorecki1]

*leans on hand* I can't seem to say anything without it being "wrong". My interpretation on the verse is based on what I was taught growing up. You all can take it however you want.

Wait...you were actually engaged? 3 times, too? I don't want to be insensitive, but...I don't know whether to believe that or not...

yep and all died about 3 hours after they asked a little weird if you ask me.

[Zeldafan2]

[redacted]

[K. Ayato]

YOU'RE FIFTEEN YEARS OLD! You can't possibly know what real love for another person is like, let alone make such a big decision as marriage at that age.

[AdriTan]

I'm sorry about your boyfriend being hit by a car. I'll certainly be praying.
And I'm sorry about the deaths of your late fiancés.

I do have to say that I think it's unwise to get married at a young age (before 20 or so [although I do have three friends my age engaged and one a year younger than me engaged])
Neither of you have completely figured out who you are yet, and you may find that when you do fully mature that you are completely different than what you thought. Sometimes that doesn't change anything, and sometimes it does.

What kind of engagements were they? That is, were you planning on getting married soon after, or planning on waiting a few years?

[Davidizer13]

YOU'RE FIFTEEN YEARS OLD! You can't possibly know what real love for another person is like, let alone make such a big decision as marriage at that age.

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS. You're too young to get married. It doesn't matter how much money they spend on you, it doesn't matter how much they say they love you and can't live without you, you are not mature enough to think about spending the rest of your life with someone else. If they truly, honestly respect you as a person, they'll hold off not just until you're legal, but until you're emotionally and financially mature to make that decision. Get through high school. Enjoy being single while it lasts, which in your case, should be a good long while.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I don't want to jump the gun but having three fiances dying hours after proposing is not normal. It sounds to me like there's some dark spiritual stuff going on in your family (possibly a generational curse).

[Lynna]

YOU'RE FIFTEEN YEARS OLD! You can't possibly know what real love for another person is like, let alone make such a big decision as marriage at that age.

This.
Engaged, not only once, but three times??? At your age?? When I was fifteen, I was still lazing around, avoiding my homework and watching anime! (Oh wait, I still do that...)
Even if you planned to wait until you were older, deciding you love someone enough to live for the rest of your life with them is an important decision, and not to be made unless you have a lot more life experience. If you make it too early, it could make breaking up sadder.
That being said, the fact that they all died is really sad. It must have been terrible for you. But still, I would encourage that if a guy proposes to you again at this age, you should wait until you're older. Much older. As in, graduated high school, done silly stuff with your friends, and used up all the time you could possibly have to just be a kid and not have to worry about this stuff. If the guy is the right one, he'll understand.
I hope your boyfriend is okay. I will be praying for him, and for you.

[K. Ayato]

As I've shared before here, I was 19 when I met the man who is now my husband. I was 20 when he first proposed (if you will). While our intentions were serious, it was NOT the ideal time for us to get married. That didn't happen until 6 years later. Was the waiting hard? Yes, it sucked. Was it worth it in the end? YES.

Point of this? Wait. It'll spare you a lot of unnecessary pain vs you jumping headfirst into something that you're not fully prepared to face. Marriage takes work, hon. A LOT of it.

[Nate]

*leans on hand* I can't seem to say anything without it being "wrong".

I'm not saying your interpretation of it is necessarily wrong, just that it makes no sense given the context of the surrounding verses. None of the surrounding verses are talking about marriage, so why would this one verse in the middle of all these other verses be talking about marriage? It's taking it out of context.

If I was to say that Jesus commanded us to hate our families and I used Luke 14:26 as proof to support that, you'd probably say "Dude you're taking that out of context, Jesus is saying that you need to follow him above anyone else, he's not saying to literally hate our families."

This is why context is important, and the context of the unequal yokes verse does not support an interpretation relating to marriage. You can still take the verse that way but it'd be pretty bizarre to try.

My interpretation on the verse is based on what I was taught growing up.

This may come as a surprise to you but people can sometimes be incorrect about things and often will teach those incorrect things to others. I know it sounds crazy but it's like Ripley's Believe It or Not or something.

I mean some people teach kids at their church that the Bible disapproves of interracial marriage. It doesn't, but imagine someone saying "Hey my interpretation that a black person and a white person getting married is an abomination to God is based on what I was taught growing up" and you can see that "what I was taught as a kid" is a pretty lousy reason to believe something.

Anyway, that's a bit off-topic.

Actually I have been engaged 3 times

No. Stop that. Stop that right now. There's nothing wrong with dating at your age but engagement and marriage at your age is a ridiculously bad idea.

Where the crap did these guys get money to buy a diamond ring from? Last I checked you can't really get a job when you're 14 years old and even if they were just barely of age to get a job then they wouldn't be able to pull anything higher than minimum wage much less enough to afford a ring. And I'm pretty sure that a 15 year old boy going "Mom, dad, can I borrow a few hundred bucks to propose to some girl I know at school?" is not going to get a very positive response from their parents.

[Vilo159]

You can still take the verse that way but it'd be pretty bizarre to try.

Except that a vast amount of the christian world does exactly that, with little to no opposition or questioning. Just saying.

This may come as a surprise to you but people can sometimes be incorrect about things and often will teach those incorrect things to others. I know it sounds crazy but it's like Ripley's Believe It or Not or something.

I mean some people teach kids at their church that the Bible disapproves of interracial marriage. It doesn't, but imagine someone saying "Hey my interpretation that a black person and a white person getting married is an abomination to God is based on what I was taught growing up" and you can see that "what I was taught as a kid" is a pretty lousy reason to believe something.

But just because its taught by your family and you haven't studied it for yourself doesn't make it wrong either. If you grew up being taught that stealing is bad, but hadn't studied the reasons why, you can't just assume its wrong, because its obviously not.

I'm just saying they're entitled to their opinion, no matter where it came from.

[AndrewinIce]

You all do realize that only in the last what, sixty years has it become in any way taboo to marry before 18, right? I have great aunts who married at 14. Supposedly, Mary had Jesus when she was 13.
I'm not saying I agree or disagree, but let's just remember this whole 'need to be 18 or older' is still new.

[Davidizer13]

I'm not saying I agree or disagree, but let's just remember this whole 'need to be 18 or older' is still new.

I can't believe I have to argue that the fact that getting married at 15 is an absolutely stupid idea in Western society. What were you doing when you were 15, huh? Back then I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself, I'd never worked a solid day in my life, I had fifty bucks (if that) to my name, no car, and I lived under my parents' roof, where they'd feed me while they held the leash, and I'd do anything they told me to. Under those circumstances, I couldn't possibly imagine having a girlfriend, let alone someone I had to live with for the rest of my life, and let's face it, at that age, she'd be like an adopted sister, living off of my parents with me.

Either way, I'm gonna stick my neck out and call BS on this story. It's too much like an episode of CSI or Law and Order or something, what with the fiancees dying in ~*mysterious*~ repeated circumstances. In that case, I'd peg the blushing young (emphasis on young) bride to be the murderer, the common denominator in all the incidents. Something about her trying to escape the arranged marriages pushed on her by gold-digging Quiverfull patriarchalists. But maybe I watch too many of those shows for my own good.

[DarkNozomi]

yep and all died about 3 hours after they asked a little weird if you ask me.

That's really weird... like quite creepy. Is it possible there's some sort of curse on your family or you personally? You should ask around with some of the older members of your family perhaps, and see if there's any precedent for this or any possible explanation.

In the meantime, it might be better to hold off on dating or engagement until you know the cause of this. To do otherwise might put more people in danger :S

[DarkNozomi]

I can't believe I have to argue that the fact that getting married at 15 is an absolutely stupid idea in Western society. What were you doing when you were 15, huh? Back then I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself, I'd never worked a solid day in my life, I had fifty bucks (if that) to my name, no car, and I lived under my parents' roof, where they'd feed me while they held the leash, and I'd do anything they told me to. Under those circumstances, I couldn't possibly imagine having a girlfriend, let alone someone I had to live with for the rest of my life, and let's face it, at that age, she'd be like an adopted sister, living off of my parents with me.

Why does "western society" get to decide these things? I know that God told us to obey the laws of the land, but I don't recall too many examples of people being commanded to adopt a culture's values simply to fit in. if anything, I can give a good many examples of the opposite being true (Daniel]Either way, I'm gonna stick my neck out and call BS on this story. It's too much like an episode of CSI or Law and Order or something, what with the fiancees dying in ~*mysterious*~ repeated circumstances. In that case, I'd peg the blushing young (emphasis on young) bride to be the murderer, the common denominator in all the incidents. Something about her trying to escape the arranged marriages pushed on her by gold-digging Quiverfull patriarchalists. But maybe I watch too many of those shows for my own good.[/QUOTE]

That's pretty harsh... you're basically saying the OP is either a murderer or a pathological liar, with no other options. People DO die, even in this day and age in Western society. To me it sounds more like a curse or other strange grudge. In any case, I don't see the benefit of such a statement to any party.

[armeck]

Either way, I'm gonna stick my neck out and call BS on this story. It's too much like an episode of CSI or Law and Order or something, what with the fiancees dying in ~*mysterious*~ repeated circumstances. In that case, I'd peg the blushing young (emphasis on young) bride to be the murderer, the common denominator in all the incidents. Something about her trying to escape the arranged marriages pushed on her by gold-digging Quiverfull patriarchalists. But maybe I watch too many of those shows for my own good.

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/You+really+think+someone+would+do+that+.+Just+go+on_981b71_3201562.jpg

[SilverToast]

Where the crap did these guys get money to buy a diamond ring from? Last I checked you can't really get a job when you're 14 years old and even if they were just barely of age to get a job then they wouldn't be able to pull anything higher than minimum wage much less enough to afford a ring. And I'm pretty sure that a 15 year old boy going "Mom, dad, can I borrow a few hundred bucks to propose to some girl I know at school?" is not going to get a very positive response from their parents.

This post made me laugh. XD
Rich kids, man. Rich kids. They must have asked for a few thousand dollars as if it were 50 cents. That or they mugged someone.

Actually I have been engaged 3 times but one died from cancer one died from suicide and another was murdered. And now this one got hit by a car I am just bad luck.

Is it acceptable in your culture or part of your culture to be engaged at that age? In western places it's considered inappropriate, but in some other places it is appropriate. I feel that should be asked before any one jumps to conclusions.

[armeck]

Is it acceptable in your culture or part of your culture to be engaged at that age? In western places it's considered inappropriate, but in some other places it is appropriate. I feel that should be asked before any one jumps to conclusions.

That's actually a really good point you raise, people have been operating under the assumption as though the OP is from the states, but heck, in some countries not being married by the time your 15 is uncommon.

[K. Ayato]

Even if she is in the States, she can't marry at 15 without parents' consent.

[DaughterOfZion]

From Akorecki's previous thread on dating and guys:

You may think this is weird but my friends say move to France or maybe it was Italy anyways because my boyfriend died and I realized he was going to ask me to marry him. So they want me to get married to a dead person cuz it is legal there. But Alive is something I require.

yea you know when we get older and actually he was the second guy to ask me to marry him. The first guy I never even gave him an answer but he is still alive and dating my best friend. And the second guy I was dating him for 3 days but it was an amazing 3 days well an amazing last 3 days.

From this thread:

Actually I have been engaged 3 times but one died from cancer one died from suicide and another was murdered. And now this one got hit by a car I am just bad luck.

yep and all died about 3 hours after they asked a little weird if you ask me.

Also, here's the first thread http://www.christiananime.net/showthread.php?t=62953

[K. Ayato]

Here's something to tuck away: Next time a guy comes your way and asks you to marry him, you ask him if 1: He has the means to take care of both you and him; 2: You have a place to stay of your own (and not Mom's basement); 3: He's gonna stay beside you after the fairy tale phase is over and ugly reality sets in.

Marriage is not some fantasy world where everything is easy. No way in H-E-double toothpicks. I've been married for over 2 years now, and our first year together was HARD. There were a lot of challenges we faced and it took a lot of work on both our parts to keep moving forward and working together as a team.

I hope you come to your senses before this ditzy fantasy mindset brings on some serious hurt.

[Davidizer13]

You may think this is weird but my friends say move to France or maybe it was Italy anyways because my boyfriend died and I realized he was going to ask me to marry him. So they want me to get married to a dead person cuz it is legal there. But Alive is something I require.

Let me get this straight. You had a boyfriend. He was planning to marry you. Then he died. Your parents didn't see this as a problem, and said you should probably move to Europe so you could marry a dead person.

Is your last name Addams, by any chance?

[akorecki1]

Let me get this straight. You had a boyfriend. He was planning to marry you. Then he died. Your parents didn't see this as a problem, and said you should probably move to Europe so you could marry a dead person.

Is your last name Addams, by any chance?

My friends said that. And haha very funny.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

[quote="DarkNozomi (post: 1599407)"]Why does "western society" get to decide these things? I know that God told us to obey the laws of the land, but I don't recall too many examples of people being commanded to adopt a culture's values simply to fit in. if anything, I can give a good many examples of the opposite being true (Daniel]
For one it's incredibly impractical. Unless you're going to be married and still live with your parents or something.

[Nate]

Except that a vast amount of the christian world does exactly that, with little to no opposition or questioning. Just saying.

I love the contradiction in a Mormon appealing to what a vast amount of the Christian world does/says. A vast amount of the Christian world says that believing we can be like God is one of the most dangerous sins that exists, and that Joseph Smith was a false prophet. I would think you of all people would be the absolute last person to try and use "what the vast majority of the Christian world believes" as a defense.

The point is that just because they do that doesn't make it correct. They're isolating the verse and taking it out of its context. And it's not even something like historical or cultural context. The surrounding sentences literally have nothing to do with marriage, so why would Paul write one sentence about marriage in the middle of a paragraph about marriage?

But just because its taught by your family and you haven't studied it for yourself doesn't make it wrong either.

I agree completely and I'm not saying that just because you haven't studied it for yourself doesn't make it wrong. Nowhere did I imply that. I merely said that "this is what I was told" is not a valid defense of a belief. With your example about stealing, I can give many reasons why stealing is wrong. Even people who were only taught that stealing is wrong "because God said so" can give reasons why stealing is wrong besides that.

And of course, people can give many reasons why it might be a concern to marry someone of a different religion than them. Some people have already stated those things, such as that it could weaken the faith of one of the partners, or that it might cause conflict in raising children. These are valid arguments against interfaith marriages...but appealing to the "unequally yoked" verse only works if you can prove it's talking about marriage. The problem is, the verses surrounding that verse do not support this interpretation in the slightest.

In fact, let me post the verses around that verse.
[quote]11 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13 As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.

(Interesting note, the NIV translation has directly above this verse, "Warning Against Idolatry")

14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?

(Skipping where Paul quotes some OT verses, the next verses start like this)

1 Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

2 Make room for us in your hearts. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have exploited no one. 3 I do not say this to condemn you]
So here's what we have. Paul is saying the Corinthians aren't treating him like a brother. They're kind of treating him like crap. He then says not to be equally yoked with unbelievers. After this, he says "So since the Bible says to not be equally yoked with unbelievers, accept us, we didn't do anything wrong."

Unless you believe Paul was asking to marry the Corinthians, interpreting the unequal yoke verse about marriage makes no sense. He was saying this to the Corinthians to say that they were rejecting believers (including himself) who were trying to help them. Again, without knowing exactly what was going on in Corinth at the time, we don't really know what "unequally yoked" means, but it's likely that the people at the church there were inviting in unbelievers to basically just socialize and not really worship God or something of that nature.

Paul even quotes “Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.â€

[PrincessZelda]

This thread... I don't even... is this for real?

[K. Ayato]

There's not enough evidence to support if it is, Zelly O_o.