Yep I suck

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Postby Nate » Mon Nov 19, 2012 9:16 pm

Cleanedbyblood wrote:I don't think God gets annoyed with our prayers.

Didn't Jesus say something about God hating vain repetition in prayer or something like that? I suppose there's the question of what exactly qualifies as "vain repetition" but saying the same things over and over again may qualify pretty closely in which case my prayers just make God mad.
We are called to have joy in everything.

While that's technically true I'm pretty sure it doesn't really mean to just blindly accept things and act happy all the time, especially considering certain things. Not that me having a job I hate is comparable to say, torture, I'm just saying that this is not a helpful answer.
Nate, the only purpose I ever feel in life is when I following Christ.

I don't care about a purpose exactly, I only care about not hating my life. So far I've had no luck with that.
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Postby seaglass27 » Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:53 am

But purpose in life is what makes it worthwhile. It seems that you hate your life because you're going in circles, there's no productivity.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Tue Nov 20, 2012 9:03 am

Maybe accept the absurdity in life?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absurdism#Albert_Camus
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Postby goldenspines » Tue Nov 20, 2012 9:29 am

Nate (post: 1598781) wrote: While that's technically true I'm pretty sure it doesn't really mean to just blindly accept things and act happy all the time, especially considering certain things. Not that me having a job I hate is comparable to say, torture, I'm just saying that this is not a helpful answer.
More from personal opinion that anything, joy and happiness are different things. You can be joyful, but unhappy with circumstances. Joy comes from knowing that God loves you, that you are forgiven, etc., so "in a sense", nothing that happens to you in this world can take that away from you.
Happiness is based on our own circumstances and is usually fading. Like, if you get a video game you wanted for half off the price, you're happy! But if you get fired from your job, you're unhappy. But, happiness doesn't affect the "joy" you may have in God and His love (there's a verse about nothing separating us from the love of Christ or something).
That sort of thing. I know it's not helpful, but it does mean that it's okay to be unhappy about things sometimes. We're not disobeying God somehow by saying "this sucks".

I don't care about a purpose exactly, I only care about not hating my life. So far I've had no luck with that.
I've found that I will never be fully "satisfied" with the way my life is going, no matter how hard I try to make it great. For me, it just got to the point where I'd be like, "Screw it all" and give God control of my life, because I doubt He could mess it up more than I could. XD;

Still praying.
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Postby Cleanedbyblood » Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:48 am

Perhaps, you need to ask God what your purpose is and meditate on it. God will answer you, though it may not be in the way you are expecting.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in people. Psalm 118:8

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
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Postby Nate » Tue Nov 20, 2012 2:09 pm

Otaku Jordan wrote:But purpose in life is what makes it worthwhile. It seems that you hate your life because you're going in circles, there's no productivity.

Sigh. Okay. Let me explain it like this.

Pretend I didn't hate my job. Pretend I have the same job I have now, but I didn't hate it. If that was the case, I wouldn't hate my life. I would be okay with my life. I don't feel like I have a purpose exactly right now, but it wouldn't matter, because I wouldn't hate my life. Everything else would be exactly the same, but I wouldn't hate my life.

I know this because this was actually the case when I had my census job. Yes, it isn't the same KIND of job, but I didn't hate my job and everything was still the same as it is now. So I didn't hate my life. I didn't have a purpose, but I didn't care because hey, I had a job I didn't hate, I had fun doing stuff, and everything was cool.

My job is literally the source of my misery. The fact that I had a job before that I didn't hate proves it. "Purpose" means nothing to me and it is proven that "no purpose" is not the reason I am so miserable right now. It is the fault of my terrible job that I hate and makes me hate my life and I am trapped in it because if I quit then I stress out everybody else.
You can be joyful, but unhappy with circumstances.

This doesn't really make sense to me. I guess it might make sense on a theoretical level but it doesn't really make sense on a real life level. You ever see videos where someone explains a fourth-dimensional object, or explains how to turn a sphere inside out? And you can look at it and go "Yeah that makes sense I guess" but it's still something that doesn't make sense in real life. What you're saying is kind of like that.
Perhaps, you need to ask God what your purpose is and meditate on it. God will answer you, though it may not be in the way you are expecting.

Okay until God becomes a burning bush again or writes letters in the sky telling me what to do I'm pretty sure all this would accomplish is nothing.

I'm not knocking prayer, I do it a lot, but this isn't really a subject where prayer would be helpful because there's only one thing that would fix this: telling me what to do. Since God isn't going to tell me what to do, then it's not going to accomplish anything.
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Postby Cleanedbyblood » Tue Nov 20, 2012 3:13 pm

First off, I don't think God's going to do the burning bush thing again. I think that was a one-time deal.

Secondly, and most importantly prayer works! I'm living proof of that. I have had a few of my prayers answered, though some were not quite in the way I wanted them to be. Even if you don't think God is listening, sometimes it can make you feel better just saying your problems out loud or even writing them down.

Thirdly, I think you should make time to think about all the blessings you have in your life right now. I can name a few blessings you have right off the top of my head. 1) You have God above to guide and love you, 2) you have a family that, from what I understand, loves you very much. 3) you have a job that (even though I don't know what it is) a lot of people would kill just to have a job, especially in the economy. You might checkin to your boss or whatever everyday or every other day to see if an advance position opens up, or let your boss know that you are interested in getting promoted, and if there is see what you need to do to get it. 4) You have friends like us here on CAA who are willing to "listen" and pray for you. I know it might not sound like much but it is something.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in people. Psalm 118:8

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
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Postby Nate » Tue Nov 20, 2012 6:41 pm

Cleanedbyblood wrote:First off, I don't think God's going to do the burning bush thing again. I think that was a one-time deal.

Sucks for me then. But of course that's assuming that I'm important enough to be appeared to (I am not).
prayer works!

I'm not arguing that point, I'm just saying it's not useful in this particular instance.
sometimes it can make you feel better just saying your problems out loud or even writing them down.

No, I'm past that. I'm at the point where it makes me feel worse because I'm so miserable and I hate it so much that even talking about it just frustrates me. That's part of why I hate my job, is it's dull and repetitive and all I can think about is how much I can't stand it. There's nothing to distract my thoughts.
I think you should make time to think about all the blessings you have in your life right now.

I realize I am extremely blessed and that I am completely ungrateful because none of them make me feel better, and that there are people worse off than me who would love to be in my position.

So yes thinking about all the blessings I have makes me hate myself even more.
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Postby Cleanedbyblood » Tue Nov 20, 2012 8:43 pm

Your job sounds much better than mine. I work as a cashier for a local Home Depot.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in people. Psalm 118:8

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
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Postby uc pseudonym » Tue Nov 20, 2012 10:09 pm

I haven't posted because I don't think I have anything meaningful to offer. I don't think you suck, but your life situation does. That kind of work is soul-crushing, and I'm saying that from an experience better and briefer than yours.

This feels really weak, but have you ever thought about international development work? It's not lucrative, but if you get a real position (not glorified tourism) it covers all your living expenses plus some benefits. You have experience in manufacturing and that might qualify you for some jobs. Thing is, that's a pretty big change and in some of those positions you wouldn't be able to continue doing some of the things you enjoy in life. I mention it only because this was what made a difference for me at a dark point in my life.

I know this probably won't do any good, but try not to hate yourself for being unhappy. It's not as if only the single worst off person in the world can be sad and everyone else is selfish. One major component of my work is providing water security (sand dams, specifically) for people. The people who benefit from them are better off than a lot of the extremely poor, but they're still lacking a basic human need.

Tolerable work is also a human need and it's valid for you to be unhappy that you don't have it. That's actual development policy, not just a feel-good phrase. I know people working to improve the work conditions of Tanzanite miners, who are relatively well off (the mines aren't murderous or back-breaking) but are still suffering. No one thinks they're wasting their time because they're not working on something like food or water.

I'm reading over this and I'm not sure if I should post it, but I suppose I will since the alternative is apparent lack of caring.

Cleanedbyblood wrote:Might I ask what it your job is?

Nate wrote:I work at a factory that produces transportation lighting parts, so like stuff for stoplights/crosswalks, sometimes vehicle lighting parts, that kind of stuff. Mostly it involves sitting next to a plastic processing machine, waiting for it to drop a part, looking at the part and seeing if it's acceptable or not, and either throwing it in a scrap bin or packing it in a box. However lately I haven't been at a machine, I've been finishing some parts by drilling/cutting them, which means I stand at a drill/saw for 12 hours and grab a part, cut/drill it, put it back, and grab another.
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