Crying my eyes out as I post this

[Midknight74012]

I just lost my best friend, and I feel like I have absolutely no one in my life any more, Not a one. I am thinking suicidal thoughts right now and I don't want that. I hate myself. I was dumb enough to call myself so stupid for not remembering details and condemned her for not making herself clear or answering questions when I absolutely needed to know. I'm not perfect, I can't remember every detail of everything whereas she can. I did my best, and I failed. I got angry, I got frustrated, I vented, and now I regret it. I lost my best friend, and now I type this as I cry and I know I'm gonna have a crummy day at work in a few hours. Please, help me, someone, anyone. I don't want to be alone any more.

I want to die.

[AdriTan]

Man, you're not alone. Jesus is right there and He feels your pain. He's lost so many friends to Satan's lies and He doesn't want you to be one of those people. God has a plan for your life, even of it feels pointless right now to you. You are a child of God, destined for greatness! It doesn't matter what you've done no matter how recently, Jesus didn't die on that cross to see people get discouraged and held back by what they've done. Jesus loves you so much! And things get hard sometimes, but we never go through that pain alone. Don't give up, big brother, on your life because you think your inadequate, God's got your life in the palm of His hands! <3

[Bio_Plus]

I'm praying for you.

[Yuki-Anne]

I'm praying for you.


I'll also say, never underestimate the power of a heartfelt apology. Get some sleep however you can, and give it a shot when you've had enough sleep. Things won't be fixed right away, but with patience and sincerity, the relationship may be reparable.

[Atria35]

Praying. I think Yuki has some awesome advice right there.

[Midknight74012]

I got myself a good sleep the other night, I feel better now that I'm rested and had a clear head to think again. Thanks to all for praying for me.

[Wind]

love you my awesome bro and friend. you were there alot of times when I felt the same way you are totally awesome and I don't think you realize how important you are

[Makachop^^128]

Praying for you.

[Lynna]

Praying for you!

[Midknight74012]

Update: I.... decided to cut ties with my best friend. I won't go into detail why, but my heart totally aches. I hoped we can work something out as I discussed why I wanted to cut ties, but it never came to that. I don't like doing what I did, but I have my reasons. Still... it's like having my heart torn out and thrown on the ground and me stomping on it mercilessly while I broke hers with my words. I feel like this was a stupid way to do it, but God, please, help me, I yearn for love.