Ok, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that my mom talked to someone who goes to one of te Baptist churches I was interested in (I'm leaving Church of Christ for those of you who do not know) and I may be able to go soon. However, mom said something that outweighs this.
I will have to break it to my folks that I ain't CoC, and Mom wants me to talk to my pastor at CoC first.
I'm afraid I wont be able to defend myself or will have my defenses torn down, and end up CoC again. I'm depressed from this, and having to displease so much of my family.
Anyway, the main reason I'm leaving is because baptism is NOT necessary for salvation, contrary to what CoC teaches. I need to build stronger points than Romans 10:9, and to tell the truth I'm not even strong in explaining off the ones that suggest that baptism is.
Of course, I would be stronger if I was really studying hard, but I've lost my passion for studying, I've lost my passion for serving God in general. I spend way too much time gaming, especially when I don't have schoolwork to do. I know I might need to delete some games from my iPhone, but I'm afraid I'll lose my save data in case I get back into it again. Stupid reason, I know. I also spend too much time listening to music. Thank God I listen to Christian rap; I dunno how much more unmotivated for God I'd be without it nor do I want to know. Yet I listen to so much secular music, and yet I love it so much. I'm such a mess.
I'll admit, I also have anger issues, I have cussing issues, I have invasive bad thoughts about my Lord, I spend way too much time fantasizing and not thinking of Scripture or obeying the Philippians Law (whatever is TRUE, whatever is PURE, etc.) and my thoughts don't glorify God, I keep lying to myself and to God so I don't have to give up stuff... Ssometimes I wonder why I bother with Christianity. I used to be so good. Now I fail so epically. I've seen heather acting more like Christ than me, REALLY!
I'm considering just staying in CoC so I womt have to debate this. Sure it would be dangerous in the long run, but... I feel safer sitting through a sermon than through a Bible verse-flinging battle. Please pray that I can defend myself, that my CoC family can get saved, and that I can get over my gaming addiction and start studying my Bible more. I do not feel safe right now, and I'm getting depressed very fast.