Intercultural relationships

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Postby Yuki-Anne » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:41 am

I was aghast, honestly. I just said, "No." and immediately took him off of my friends list, because, trust me, in our face-to-face interaction I was trying as hard as possible to show that I was not interested. I didn't know at the time how to say it in Japanese (I've been studying since then...). And then whenever he tried to talk to me I ignored him. I even took him off my facebook and he re-added me, and I accepted the request against my better judgement, I guess because I'm too nice. I just figured, well, hey, he hasn't actually done anything wrong. That was a mistake, I think.

I think a simple, "No." was probably the best way to go. I can't imagine what was going through his head that he thought he would get any other answer.

Also, I have no idea how to explain in Japanese exactly all the reasons why his behavior was super inappropriate.
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Postby Nami » Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:01 am

Ahh, that's true. :/ do you have a friend who could help you translate English into Japanese to help you turn down a guy? Ahaha.
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Postby Atria35 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:49 am

OOooo, yeah, that would make it difficult, wouldn't it? ><
I do feel bad for him, though.

And you, too, since you had to do that.
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Postby Yamamaya » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:37 am

Yuki-Anne (post: 1471518) wrote:Sorry to double post, but I just got proposed to via facebook chat by the aforementioned guy who doesn't speak English who is actually actively pursuing me (to the point of being really annoying and almost creepy).

VIA FACEBOOK CHAT, PEOPLE. Truly, this man is the paragon of romantic sensibility.

My life is now complete.

Also, he's off my friends list.


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Is this guy a creepy otaku sort, or is he just naturally that way? I mean I thought such insanity only existed in crappy animes. I guess I was wrong.

I mean, I don't think that's okay in the Japanese culture or any culture for that matter, to just randomly propose to someone who refuses your advances on FACEBOOK.

Man that just boggles my mind.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:40 am

Yuki-Anne (post: 1471513) wrote:No, I can't blame them. I say this in the most heterosexual way possible: Japanese girls are hot. Gals like me, we can't compete. My only hope is the occasional Japanese guy who happens to find white girls attractive. But then I might attract (and actually have attracted) fetishists, which is really not an improvement over attracting nobody at all.

Hah! I'll say that, as an Asian, I don't want to marry an Asian woman. =p I'm generalizing, but I find them to be boring and uninteresting.
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Postby Yamamaya » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:51 am

Mr. SmartyPants (post: 1471566) wrote:Hah! I'll say that, as an Asian, I don't want to marry an Asian woman. =p I'm generalizing, but I find them to be boring and uninteresting.


So I suppose you like your women how you like your cheese..White and cultured.

Sorry, couldn't resist ;)
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Postby aliveinHim » Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:23 am

I don't have much interest in hispanic guys. I think it's ultimately since I'm hispanic. I prefer light guys with light eyes and light skin. I wouldn't mind an asian though.
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Postby Atria35 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:55 am

Heh, as long as they're cute and/or have a sense of humor. I have a small crush on a guy that looks like a bear, but is hilarious. I admit it- not picky!
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Postby aliveinHim » Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:11 am

^I did too!
"And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:1-7

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Postby ChristianKitsune » Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:14 am

Wait so... I'm a little confused did you mention that were two guys interested in you and one of the was a creeper, but one of them you were actually interested in right back but it turned out the creeper was the one that proposed to you? OR was it the other guy ^^;

This happened to my older sister only it was a lot more inappropriate. It was our College drawing professor he was a middle-aged asian, and my sister had suspicions but my family was all, "Naaah you're thinking too much about it, and looking too much into it."

Turns out the week she graduated he asked our family out to eat, we thought itw as just because he was retiring from the school and wanted to say goodbye to his students.

The next day my sister received an email with him asking her to marry him, saying things like "It's going to be a great life."

She was in tears and shaking for a bit after that...and I have never doubted her again... ._.
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Postby aliveinHim » Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:46 am

I've had little boys who wanted to marry me.
"And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:1-7

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Postby Sapphire225 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:05 pm

[quote="ChristianKitsune (post: 1471598)"]Wait so... I'm a little confused did you mention that were two guys interested in you and one of the was a creeper, but one of them you were actually interested in right back but it turned out the creeper was the one that proposed to you? OR was it the other guy ^^]

...What is up with these college creepers? :eh:

I'm into Asians, but not any twice my age...except for Ken Narita and Takehito Koyasu. They're pretty hot.

But other than that... Middle-aged teachers...

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Postby Beau Soir » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:09 pm

aliveinHim (post: 1471608) wrote:I've had little boys who wanted to marry me.
That's so great... XD

That reminds me of the time when my best friend and I told her little 6 year old brother that he was going to marry me. His response... "I'm married to Megan?!? ......Are we married already?!?!?" Hilarious!


Oh, and to my boyfriend- if you read this, don't worry, honey, I have no plans to cradle-rob! :sweat:
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Postby steenajack » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:27 pm

O_o....oh wow Yuki, I'm sorry about that. Facebook? Seriously? I mean, if you can't text-break-up then shouldn't text-proposal be out of line as well?
Sheesh, and I thought stuff like this only happened in sitcoms.
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Postby Nami » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:51 pm

Sapphire225 (post: 1471618) wrote:...What is up with these college creepers? :eh:

I'm into Asians, but not any twice my age...except for Ken Narita and Takehito Koyasu. They're pretty hot.

But other than that... Middle-aged teachers...

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Dude that picture is priceless. :DDDD
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:16 pm

Well, ladies... I am single, FYI. =p
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Postby Yamamaya » Fri Apr 15, 2011 3:12 pm

Mr. SmartyPants (post: 1471680) wrote:Well, ladies... I am single, FYI. =p


I will be sure to purchase you some flowers, but just because I purchase everyone flowers...It's not like I like you or anything.



Jk I couldn't resist. :P
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Postby TopazRaven » Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:09 pm

That is incredibly creepy Yuki. Sorry that happened to you. 0.o This kind of reminds me of this guy I know who used to keep asking me out and hitting on me even though he knew I didn't like him that way. I thank the mighty Lord in Heaven he has a girlfriend now and will leave me alone. I used to feel bad turning him down at first, but you would think after the first few years of saying no he'd get the hint. I almost said yes once out of desperation. I'm a lonely person. Forever alone!
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Postby Yuki-Anne » Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:19 pm

ChristianKitsune (post: 1471598) wrote:Wait so... I'm a little confused did you mention that were two guys interested in you and one of the was a creeper, but one of them you were actually interested in right back but it turned out the creeper was the one that proposed to you? OR was it the other guy ^^]

K is the first guy I mentioned, who speaks only Japanese, and who I could see maybe possibly dating if the situation arises.

M is the guy who speaks only Japanese and a little broken English, who, from the get-go, was clearly interested in me. At first it was cute. The first time we talked he was so nervous his hands were shaking. I actually find that adorable.

But then it got creepy. The second time we talked, he gave me a stuffed rabbit (Miffy, if you're familiar with it) that was CLEARLY NOT NEW. I was kind of weirded out. After that, he was constantly all up in my business whenever he was in the office. I'd be working at my computer and he'd be practically on my shoulder watching what I was doing. He made me add him on facebook WHILE HE WAS LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER, which is kind of weird enough, but then it got to a point where I would be working, not looking at him, barely responding to what he was saying or doing, and he would still be all up in my business. Some of my friends saw it and said, "Yeah, that's really creepy."

I want to stress, I wanted to say something to tell him I was not interested but that is a segment of Japanese I have never needed before. I had no idea how to say it. I wish I had, because it would have been better to shut him down right away, and had he been an English speaker, I could have. But I was communicating as much as possible by body language, and any normal human being would have realized by my body language and reactions that I was NOT interested.

I took him off my facebook, and he re-added me. I waited a while then accepted because I thought maybe he would get the hint from me not talking to him, and that we could eventually have a normal friendship. I realize now that it was a mistake. He is now off my facebook and I will block him if I have to, because that kind of weird obsessiveness is the sign of someone who could quite likely turn into a stalker.


This happened to my older sister only it was a lot more inappropriate. It was our College drawing professor he was a middle-aged asian, and my sister had suspicions but my family was all, "Naaah you're thinking too much about it, and looking too much into it."

Turns out the week she graduated he asked our family out to eat, we thought itw as just because he was retiring from the school and wanted to say goodbye to his students.

The next day my sister received an email with him asking her to marry him, saying things like "It's going to be a great life."

She was in tears and shaking for a bit after that...and I have never doubted her again... ._.


Oh goodness. I'm so sorry for her! That is not at all a pleasant experience! :/
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Postby Kaori » Sat Apr 16, 2011 3:19 am

Yuki-Anne wrote:Also, I have no idea how to explain in Japanese exactly all the reasons why his behavior was super inappropriate.

は] moving much too fastâ€
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Postby shooraijin » Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:12 am

Also, he's off my friends list.


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Postby Yamamaya » Sat Apr 16, 2011 12:06 pm

Well the one positive thing is, if more guys are like this, then that improves my chances significantly!

I'm a horrible person sometimes XD
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Postby Yuki-Anne » Sat Apr 16, 2011 3:55 pm

Yamamaya (post: 1472006) wrote:Well the one positive thing is, if more guys are like this, then that improves my chances significantly!

I'm a horrible person sometimes XD


Well, yes, I think sanity should make a significant difference in one's chances with the opposite sex.

Unfortunately, a lot of the time, it actually doesn't.
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