I hope I'm not offending anyone...

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I hope I'm not offending anyone...

Postby Furen » Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:54 pm

That saying, I find is being very overused here, Don't get me wrong, I totally understand you don't want to offend anyone, but it seems that some are saying it on just opinions, and it's getting out of hand. A community isn't a community with total uniformation. This isn't to say go and bash others, but I believe that as this has been a very respectful board, you don't really need these sayings, we aren't going to keelhaul you for liking some type of music or if you have varying opinions.

This just has been with me for a month or so now,seeing this makes me feel some members don't feel comfortable being able to say their opinions or beliefs.
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Postby Kunoichi » Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:11 pm

For me, I get nervous about sharing my opinions. it often doesn't have to do with other people but my own insecurity. I often have the thought that people are going to hate me simply if I disagree with them. It isn't accurate and perhaps is a little odd that I think that way but I do. I am slowly learning through discussion with other members to "open up" more and realize its okay if people don't agree with me. Doesn't mean they hate me as a person. I don't know, am I rambling a bit here? lol
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Postby PrincessZelda » Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:12 pm

I don't want to offend anyone but, I think...


Oh wait, never mind >_>
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Postby Mu Shin Ron Sha » Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:59 pm

I think it best to share your opinions, and be prepared to support them when they are questioned.

Opinions are not preferences. A preference is liking vanilla over chocolate; there is no universal answer to the question of which has the superior taste. Opinions, on the other hand, are to be founded on the basis of some information. It's probably incomplete information, but it is still there. You might form an opinion on how the international community should approach the situation in Libya, for example, without knowing all the factors involved. If you educate yourself about the situation, the actors, the external forces, etc., you can arrive at an informed opinion, and use your knowledge to support it. On the other hand, if you come to a decision by fiat or by default, your "opinion" is baseless and founded on ignorance.

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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sun Mar 20, 2011 12:00 am

I am sorry for anything I may have said or done which was disrespectful. And I really do mean this. I apologize for it. For some things I've said and done to some people that were not out of love, I'm sorry.
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Postby Rusty Claymore » Sun Mar 20, 2011 12:15 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ55B1OeS40
I think this fits. XP Although it offends my sis. >_<
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Postby Furen » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:10 pm

Rusty Claymore (post: 1466348) wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ55B1OeS40
I think this fits. XP Although it offends my sis. >_<


I agree with this, I mean, we're all fairly like minded people here, yes we have many different views, but being on a forum such as the "Christian Anime Alliance" we should feel fairly confident we won't be torn to shreds (or threads)

But this is a forum for Christianity and I'm proud of my beliefs. I'm serious about feeling uncomfortable with people feeling this NEED for a sentence that just says "This is my beliefs, don't hurt me" *covers face*

Sorry if I offended anyone :P (or am I? >.>)
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Postby Okami » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:22 pm

I'm thinking no matter what, coming from different sections of Christianity, that while we have the same "core" beliefs, the broader spectrum not everybody will agree with, and somewhere down the line someone will be offended. So whether or not someone says "I hope I'm not offending anyone" chances are that in one way or another, someone will be offended....It just seems to be setting that one up for oneself.
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Postby bkilbour » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:41 pm

Yep - L spoke the truth there :)
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Postby K. Ayato » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:42 pm

Yeah. Kind of a back-handed way of saying "Hope I don't make you angry, but I'm about to anyway so here ya go".
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Postby aliveinHim » Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:09 am

I'm sorry for offending people on here too if my opinion was a bit out of line. I hate being mean to people. It makes me sad if I accidentally hurt someone's feelings or ruffle feathers. I understand what you mean.
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But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:1-7

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Postby TopazRaven » Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:19 am

This can sadly be a pretty bad habit of mine at times. Even if I do upset or offend people, I want it to been known that wasn't my intention at all. I've been shot down and told I was going straight to hell for some of my beilefs by other Christians, so I was still very shy and skittish when I first joined the site last year. I'd like to think I've matured in least a little since then.
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Postby TheSubtleDoctor » Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:24 am

Right up there with great prefaces like, "I'm not a racist or anything, but..."
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Postby TheMewster » Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:01 am

TopazRaven (post: 1466517) wrote:This can sadly be a pretty bad habit of mine at times. Even if I do upset or offend people, I want it to been known that wasn't my intention at all. I've been shot down and told I was going straight to hell for some of my beilefs by other Christians, so I was still very shy and skittish when I first joined the site last year. I'd like to think I've matured in least a little since then.


That's the exact same fear I have about expressing my opinions. But I am eternally grateful to CAA for giving me a safe, friendly place to do that. God bless you guys!
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Postby Dante » Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:13 am

This is all a consequence of Mat18:7 KJV

"Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!"

Sorry, had to be said, hope I didn't offend anyone with it ;)
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Postby Sapphire225 » Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:46 am

I think the term "No offense" is basically another thing for saying "I am offending you but please don't take it so harshly." Overused and in the wrong context, it completely loses its meaning.

If I have offended anyone, I am sorry.
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Postby MomentOfInertia » Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:02 am

TheSubtleDoctor (post: 1466518) wrote:Right up there with great prefaces like, "I'm not a racist or anything, but..."

"With all due respect..."

Rusty Claymore (post: 1466348) wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ55B1OeS40
I think this fits. XP Although it offends my sis. >_<

Yes.

[quote="Pascal (post: 1466531)"]This is all a consequence of Mat18:7 KJV

"Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come]

Exactly!

I spent like an hour last night trying to say that.

And I'm keeping that verse.... if that doesn't offend anyone....is so::P
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Postby Nami » Tue Mar 22, 2011 10:15 am

...am I the only one who wasn't trying to laugh?

XD; actually, I rarely say; "sorry if I offended you." because if I offended you with my opinion, chances are, you offended me with your opinion regardless of whether you meant to or not and you didn't "apologize" for it, so why should I? Haha, its like talking to someone about God who has different views on Christianity, "Well I don't think God wants us to be like that... sorry if I offended you for the way I think" why not apologize for breathing? Or living? :P

XD this is a funny thread. I understand trying not to offend people, but its so hard these days. ^_^ take me for example, all I have to do is wander into a thread, say something that isn't directly meant at anyone and SOMEONE IS OFFENDED!! XD oh well. Someone will always be offended. Best just not to worry about it. But I agree with Mu Shin Ron Sha, if you have an opinion, be prepared to back it up. :)
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Postby Fish and Chips » Tue Mar 22, 2011 10:26 am

I make it a point never to say I hope I'm not offending anyone.

I mean, who would believe me?
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Postby Ante Bellum » Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:51 pm

I'm sure that most things I say are offensive, so I'm usually not sorry about it. It's only when I do say something really stupid that I regret later that I might apologize for it.
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Postby AJV » Tue Mar 22, 2011 7:20 pm

I don't always state my opinion that often because I'm a little shy and I don't want ruffle anyone's feathers
(sorry but I didn't feel like using the word "offend" since I saw most of you had already used it).

But when I do, I um...try to do is delicately.
Stating the reasoning behind it, facts,etc...

Also when it comes to a disagreement, my favorite lines to use is
"Whatever floats your boat" and "Different strokes for different folks."

Otherwise I don't think I say I'm sorry, not sure exactly why but I don't.
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Postby Furen » Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:46 pm

Noms got exactly what I was trying to get across.

To Fish, Good point XD

To AJV I use them too.
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Postby Nami » Wed Mar 23, 2011 6:44 am

Furen (post: 1466897) wrote:Noms got exactly what I was trying to get across.


That's because you and I understand each other!! :hug:

@Fish: *snicker* How true.
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Postby aliveinHim » Wed Mar 23, 2011 7:02 am

It's easier to offend people on the internet because you can't read people's emotions. I'm often very missread on forums, facebook, etc. I state up front my goal is not to offend anyone. I will start crying if I accidentally offend someone. I lost a friend in doing that when I didn't mean to offend her (she had no backbone anyway).
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But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:1-7

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Postby Nami » Wed Mar 23, 2011 7:11 am

aliveinHim (post: 1466952) wrote: (she had no backbone anyway).



<--- Alive...stuff like that makes it hard to believe you didn't mean to offend her. A lot of people are just sensitive and you have to be careful around them, they are easily hurt. It doesn't mean they don't have backbone, it just means they don't like being hurt.
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Postby aliveinHim » Wed Mar 23, 2011 7:25 am

I have a hard time with that because my nickname is "lizard skin." The problem with being super thick skinned like me is that you become insensitive even if you don't mean it. But because I have thick skinned is being picked on and picked on but in reality, I have feelings too that get hurt. Even though I cry with people, I'm thick skinned. I do cry really easily though.
"And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:1-7

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Postby Nami » Wed Mar 23, 2011 7:34 am

aliveinHim (post: 1466960) wrote:I have a hard time with that because my nickname is "lizard skin." The problem with being super thick skinned like me is that you become insensitive even if you don't mean it. But because I have thick skinned is being picked on and picked on but in reality, I have feelings too that get hurt. Even though I cry with people, I'm thick skinned. I do cry really easily though.


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Postby K. Ayato » Wed Mar 23, 2011 8:39 am

In regards to having a backbone or not, in most cases people think the uber-sensitive folks who cry easily or appear to crumble in defeat once conflict arises often DO have a backbone. They just don't always have the opportunity to show it.

Take me, for example. Years ago, I was picked on and more often than not, I felt no one took me seriously. Then before my wedding I attended a seminar that revealed that the bulk of my outlook on life was constructed around patterns I had allowed to dictate whatever actions I felt like doing. It was hard, and a lot of tears were shed by all, including me. I think we all realized we had a backbone after all, and with the tools the seminar taught us, we could get back out there and make a difference :).
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Postby Nami » Wed Mar 23, 2011 8:46 am

Aww K-chan!! That was beautiful. *hugs K-chan*
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Postby Seto_Sora » Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:14 am

*sigh* I think this thread is incensative at the very least. And I get the feeling that many of the opinions carried here are very self-centered.
It offends me that most of you are criticizing the community because there are those here who respect others and are caring enough not to hurt their feelings. Its "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you". Love, forgiveness, kindness, these are all basic Christian principles. There is nothing wrong with one brother or sister trying to delicately put something they think or feel.
For those of you who think offending others is ok just because they'll get offended anyway or that others opinions offend us... well I'm just floored by this arrogance and pride, it honestly weighs my heart.
Let me first get some clarifying facts out of the way. First there are hard line issues that we should be uncompromising with. Such as the basics of Christianity (or, as they are called Theologically, the essentials). We cannot sway on these issues (virgin birth, deity of Christ, death and resurrection). And there are morals that need to be upheld. But after these, there are literally hundreds of thousands of issues we do not need to offend others over, yet we can disagree in mature conversation. And in this mature conversation, we must needs consider the feelings of the other party. Otherwise we become annoying, useless sound. Paul said that if we have all spiritual gifts but have not love, we are a resounding gong.
Now if I have offended anyone with this post, please forgive me. And if you wish to criticize me for my offenses, then so be it. But don't criticize this lovely community because those here, mods and members alike, have a healthy respect for others.

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