Virginity seen as bad!?

[Sapphire225]

I don't get it. It's as if being a virgin labels someone as a loser or weirdo. But what is with kids, as young as 13 or even younger, in such a rush to lose and brag about not being a virgin? They've barely made it to adolescense and already sexually active. Not to down play anyone who has done this, but I just don't understand. I know everyone's hormones is in a tizzy at that age, but I'm pretty sure the media is the one mainly behind this.

Not too long ago, a friend of mine thought I was crazy and would be demanding too much when I told her that I plan to stay a virgin until marriage. I mean, is it really asking too much!? I've even heard a friend of mine call a girl I accidently ran into a "friend with benefits."

There was a time where remaining a virgin until marriage was commemorable, honorable even. It was seen as a great thing for it to be with only one person. But now, it seen as a sign of weakness?

What happend over the years!?

[Yamamaya]

It's really just another way to judge another socially.

For example, one might say, "You're still a virgin? You must be a loser with no ability to interact with the opposite sex." It's simply another way for someone to build up their ego. "Oh you think I'm pathetic! You should see that guy. He's still a virgin!"

Ultimately it's nobody's business whether you're a virgin or not. It's just something people like to use to judge others. It's similar to how kids in a playground will make fun of other kids who are slightly different in some way, shape, or form simply to build themselves up.

Hence you have people who are desperate to lose their virginity and seem to be willing to do anything to "get laid." It's really quite pathetic when you think about it. However, the opposite end(people who pursue relationships just for the pure desire to have sex with anyone they consider hot) is even more pathetic and egotistical.

[Hiryu]

The world gives us a distorted image of what's right and what's wrong. This image is created by human nature, which is distorted itself.

You want a clear picture? Read the bible.

[bigsleepj]

This is a very difficult topic and you'll get many answers that overlap and intertwine.

The problem is, in our current age, everyone is pretty much obsessed with sex, and for many it is seen as passage into adulthood, or rather that is how they justify it. On top of that humans tend to want to see themselves as better than others and would find anything, no matter how trivial, to distinguish themselves from people who aren't themselves.

[Cognitive Gear]

Generally speaking, "the media" is only to responsible for bringing to light things that we already do. Sure, they may glamorize or demonize that thing one way or the other, but generally speaking the media is more like a mirror (that can be distorted) than a roadmap.

Anyways, the thing about sex is that everyone (outside of a few genetic anomalies) wants it or eventually has experience with it. Since it is a common human experience that differs from person to person, it becomes a social indicator, and kids are infamous for being mean about every social indicator. It doesn't matter if it's an indicator of wealth, race, or desirability. If it tells them something about that person's background, they will make fun of it if it doesn't fall into the "cool" category.

[goldenspines]

Going along with what Bigsleep said, sex is something that has usually been associated with being "grown up" or "mature". It's a topic that parents usually tell their kids, "You'll understand when you're older." Therefore, if they are not told otherwise, many children, as they grow up, will view it as "something mature/grown up people do" and as most of us know, most kids/teens want to be grown up (or, everyone does, for that matter).

Thus, in this society, the popular view is that staying a virgin is a sign of immaturity, when in fact it's the opposite.

[TopazRaven]

Tell me about it! I was made fun of more then once in high school because I'm still a virgin. I still even get made fun of for it now by my actual friends. Nice right? I agree with some of the statements made above. Sex is often linked to maturity and what not in some people's mind. Not to mention some silly humans just seem to think they are 'better' or 'cooler' then everyone else. I also don't understand why such youngsters are so ready to throw it all away either, but that's life I guess.

[armeck]

"friend with benefits."

i always laugh when i hear this term

[TopazRaven]

i always laugh when i hear this term

Me to, it's so creepy. xD

[rocklobster]

I think being a virgin shouldn't be a bad thing. At least it means you don't have STD's...

[TGJesusfreak]

Well like I said before I think sex is sacred. end of story. god made it special for us humans. blah blah you. you all have heard me rant about this before so I wont get into it. XD

but I do think that the media has perverted the way we should see things. I agree with What Goldy and BigJ have said. Being a virgin is a sign of your self controll. not tha not being a virgin is a bad thing, but it shows that you have great self control. Thats all I will say about this for now XD

[ShiroiHikari]

...I feel like we've had this discussion before.

[TGJesusfreak]

...I feel like we've had this discussion before.

I think we have to XDDD

[Htom Sirveaux]

I do believe we have. What happened to that one, was it locked or did people just stop posting?

[Nate]

I can give my insight on it. Since I sort of know how it works.

It's mostly like Yamamaya said. It's a way of saying "Look at that pathetic loser, who is so much of a loser he can't possibly get a girl." It's an easy insult.

But there's more to it than that. Due to hormones and whatnot, people get a lot of pent-up sexual frustration. This causes them to be irritable, on edge, depressed...all these things. This is why, for example, I was watching an episode of Mobile Suit Gundam last night and Amuro was freaking out and being all crazy and one of the comments said "Man Amuro needs to get laid." When I was in the Navy and we'd been at sea for two months straight, peoples tempers were high, and someone would try and calm someone down "Don't worry man, we'll hit port in a little while, you can get laid, get wasted, you'll feel a lot better."

Speaking from personal experience, I know it's what Yamamaya said for me. I do feel like I'm unattractive, and unlovable. If I was attractive and so great how come I can't get a girl? So being a virgin, to me, is a sign of "Ha ha you're ugly and lame and girls don't like you."

Now I'm not saying I'd have sex with a girl if they offered it to me. But, the fact that no woman has ever even wanted to is a pretty severe blow to my self-esteem. I have plenty of self-image problems and the fact that no girl has ever wanted to do anything that intimate with me, well, it sucks.

I mention this to prove that no, it isn't "the media" trying to get me to think that virginity is bad. I don't even know what that means. "The media" isn't a single entity. For me it's a basic self-image problem, always has been, always will be.

[TopazRaven]

I do believe we have. What happened to that one, was it locked or did people just stop posting?

Lol, yes, it was locked. It was one of my threads if we're talking about the same one here. xD

[ShiroiHikari]

This is why, for example, I was watching an episode of Mobile Suit Gundam last night and Amuro was freaking out and being all crazy and one of the comments said "Man Amuro needs to get laid."

[spoiler]He gets plenty of action in the novels, and I don't mean mobile suit fights.[/spoiler]

[Sapphire225]

Lol, yes, it was locked. It was one of my threads if we're talking about the same one here. xD

Oh yeah! I think I even posted on your thread once or twice. Hm, I thought the theme was kind of familiar.

[raider~joseph]

I blame all i mean ALL of pop culture...dang you jersey shore....

As a teen who hates pop culture I can tell you right now...its not funny...(well it is when you make fun of lady gaga or justin beiber)But seriously this is the problem but NO ONE TAKES IT TO HEART i know a girl who was pregnant and her baby died and she cried and cried.then i tried to talk to her and cheer her up.(I was succesful...i must be GOOD)But you know what...she has been exposed to a lot and her morals are near dead.(I don't even wanna go into the father who i also know.....yeah i did tell him off)Its been that way sence the....idk mid 80's when people made movies about this stuff and EVERYTHING worked out in the end it doesn't happen.When the generation after that came into being the parents who grew up on those movies thought it was okay(Hip parents are dangerous.Remember kids)and allowed this.Eventually it became mainstream law and now everyone is doing it like its okay.Skins comes out on MTV soon God help us all.(How does justin beiber relate.....dude if you don't already know don't ask.)Seriously this is getting worse everyday.This is why I like anime and video games.They never do this in those things.(At least not all of them.I still hate hillary clintion for the whole grand theft auto thing...ONE KID MAKES ME MISS BIOSHOCK 2 FOR 7 MONTHS!!!)So anyway like i was saying.I don't mean to rant but its the fault of:
Parents
Media
Media
Media
Lack of crackdown on these things.(GOOD crackdown.)
Media
Media
Media
And people who think its cool to do these things.
MTV
...yeah that about covers it.

[Nate]

cool story bro

[TopazRaven]

I do think the media could have something to do with it, but it's not all to blame. Look at me, I was a rather sheltered child and I've grown up to have a rather crude sense of humor. My mom tried her best to keep me away from anything I shouldn't be watching or hearing and I'm still a bit of a pervert.

[raider~joseph]

True but there are those rare people who are just like that.But your awesome man.
And dude everyone is like that at some point.

[Yamamaya]

I can give my insight on it. Since I sort of know how it works.

It's mostly like Yamamaya said. It's a way of saying "Look at that pathetic loser, who is so much of a loser he can't possibly get a girl." It's an easy insult.

But there's more to it than that. Due to hormones and whatnot, people get a lot of pent-up sexual frustration. This causes them to be irritable, on edge, depressed...all these things. This is why, for example, I was watching an episode of Mobile Suit Gundam last night and Amuro was freaking out and being all crazy and one of the comments said "Man Amuro needs to get laid." When I was in the Navy and we'd been at sea for two months straight, peoples tempers were high, and someone would try and calm someone down "Don't worry man, we'll hit port in a little while, you can get laid, get wasted, you'll feel a lot better."

Speaking from personal experience, I know it's what Yamamaya said for me. I do feel like I'm unattractive, and unlovable. If I was attractive and so great how come I can't get a girl? So being a virgin, to me, is a sign of "Ha ha you're ugly and lame and girls don't like you."

Now I'm not saying I'd have sex with a girl if they offered it to me. But, the fact that no woman has ever even wanted to is a pretty severe blow to my self-esteem. I have plenty of self-image problems and the fact that no girl has ever wanted to do anything that intimate with me, well, it sucks.

I mention this to prove that no, it isn't "the media" trying to get me to think that virginity is bad. I don't even know what that means. "The media" isn't a single entity. For me it's a basic self-image problem, always has been, always will be.

Kudos on the sexual frustration part. A lack of physical contact with the opposite sex and multiple rejections(as well as simply not being around the opposite sex) can lead to some strong sexual frustration.

Just the sheer fact of knowing a girl finds you attractive or "wants you" is a major self esteem booster(for me and Nate at least). Speaking from experience, even if I don't like the girl who likes me, the very fact that she does makes me feel good.

However, when all you hear is, "Oh you'll find someone," and "I'm not for you." It creates a self image problem. "What's wrong with me?"

[Nate]

I already know what's wrong with me though. XD I'm like Coach Z. I have more than two problems.

[Yamamaya]

The media just makes it worse as it enforces the idea presented among today's society that, "You're a virgin? You must be a loser."

Movies like Superbad present the virgin guys as losers who will try anything to get laid.

Some animes cater to the desires of this group of "loser virgins." Why else would we have the harem genre? A loser guy who is surrounded by girls who all love him in some way. No matter how much of a loser the main character is, there will always be a large group of girls to comfort him and let him know that he's loved.

[Nate]

The problem is that in harem anime the main character is either a complete wuss or scared of girls or something. There's pretty much no harem anime where the main character is completely alpha and is all over the ladies.

[blkmage]

The problem is that in harem anime the main character is either a complete wuss or scared of girls or something. There's pretty much no harem anime where the main character is completely alpha and is all over the ladies.

That's because they all watched School Days.

[mechana2015]

The media is just a voice for our culture, a reflection of the beliefs of those who are writing the media, and more importantly what the culture is willing to watch.

All media is funded by its consumers, either through the ads shown or direct donations to support the content, and those ads are all based on viewership. If peopel didn't watch these shows, and hadn't supperted similar shows in the past, they wouldn't be funded, and would be cancelled. The media is our mirror, so blaming the media is jsThe media is just a voice for our culture, a reflection of the beliefs of those who are writing the media, and more importantly what the culture is willing to watch.

All media is funded by its consumers, either through the ads shown or direct donations to support the content, and those ads are all based on viewership. If peopel didn't watch these shows, and hadn't supperted similar shows in the past, they wouldn't be funded, and would be cancelled. Blaming the media is like blaming a mirror for how you look.

[raider~joseph]

That's because they all watched School Days.

That is the best explanation yet.Epic win.

[Yamamaya]

The problem is that in harem anime the main character is either a complete wuss or scared of girls or something. There's pretty much no harem anime where the main character is completely alpha and is all over the ladies.

Perhaps that is simply used to frustrate the normal male audience. ]That's because they all watched School Days.[/QUOTE]

THIS THIS THIS.