Help

[Dr.Faust]

I really need help. I really want to tell my parents of my addiction but,Threre so deppressed at the moment with money and not likeing their jobs, that I don't want to bring them down, We(me and my sis) are one of the few things that keep them happy right now, particquly my dad. He's hates his teaching job scenc he got in the fild and contenusly reopens his oulser(stomaic scair)becuase of this,which is why I have an unratinal fear of vomit and coughing(the sound of it that is). If I tell them I'm addicted to porn I really don't know how they'll take it(their not suicidel or any thing but their really stressed). I really need advice on this and pray. Also to every one that prays for me.

[Okami]

I'm so glad that you've made the decision that you have to talk with them, Faust.

It's not easy. I'm the first to admit that, as I've had to do the same thing. I'll give an example of something more recent that I was terrified to talk to my parents about, quite possibly in the same sort of terror that you're in right now.

There's been something God's placed on my heart for some time (since the middle of October) and since the end of November, I felt like I needed to tell my parents about. But I was afraid how they might handle the news. I know they've been stressed with work and generally busy and I was scared that I was just going to "get in the way."

I talked with my dean of students about it (she's like a counselor to me) and she kind of gave me the ultimatum that while on break, I would share my news with them with the same sort of vigor, passion, and excitement I had been with her, and then upon coming back to school I would then report to her how it all went.

So I did. During my first week of break I shared my news with my dad and stepmom. It went over very well, and they told me that if I needed any help when discussing with my mom, they would be there for me. They, like my core accountability group and my brother, are in support of me in this new path God's leading me down. I'd been dancing around the issue with my mom for close to two weeks before she mentioned something to me in church which made me realize that I had to have that talk. So that night, I shared my news. At the end, she, too, was in support.

This path that God's leading me down ties directly to my recovery from my issues with lust. So even though I am months-years removed (depending on what issue we zoom in on) I am still dealing with my recovery. That being said, you are not alone. It's difficult, but you're not the only one dealing with hard talks and discussions with parentals.

When you talk with them, discuss how you want to be free, how you want to heal from the wounds and scars that porn has left you with. That's what I see when I look into your words, a guy who struggles and wants to be released from the chains and burdens.

I think that showing yourself vulnerable, but ready to move on, the way that you are here, will make all the difference. They might be confused and upset (my parents were when I first came clean) but I'm sure they will also be understanding to the issue, and want to be a part of your recovery and helping you where you need it.

At any rate, God is with you and will be with you once you decide to move. You know it's what you need to do, now you just have to make the time to do it. I'll be praying! Godspeed, brother.

[Hiryu]

Letting your folks know about what you need help with is a good thing, but there are always other people you can talk to about it. Think of people who you can trust to talk to, like a dean or a church staff member.

[Kunoichi]

Dr.Faut I can't say I have advice in this matter because it is not an addiction I deal with, but I have had other addictions I have had to come clean about. They love you and if you feel you aren't ready to tell your parents, then maybe talk to a church deacon, pastor, etc that can pray over you and just help you talk about it.

Praying!