Being Single is Awesome!

[Nate]

Sarah didn't trust God to deliver a son to her so she tried to make somethin' happen on her own.

I don't think that's a fair comparison. In that situation, God Himself literally said in an audible voice "HEY I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A SON OKAY?"

Last I checked, nobody here heard an audible voice from God saying "HEY I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A SPOUSE AND THEIR NAME WILL BE _____________."

Even if you think you're doin' a good thing or what you think God wants you to do, you really need to make sure you're not actin' on your own understandin' or wishful thinkin'.

Which is nice in theory, until you're put in the situation I was in where the girl I was dating and I both thought we were doing what God wanted by being together. And maybe we were and God wanted us to suffer a horrible breakup. Or maybe we weren't and that's just the results.

But either way we prayed a LOT and listened to God a LOT and thought we WERE doing what God wanted.

Which is why I said that to assume God will always tell you everything to do and never have you make a mistake is being arrogant. It's also arrogant to assume even if God DOES lead you to a person that it will always work out and you'll live happily ever after. Maybe God led you to a person so they could abuse and mistreat you and make your life miserable because God does that sometimes. Maybe God led you to a person so you could mistreat THEM and then you'd feel really guilty and learn a valuable lesson about how relationships work.

Saying "Wait for God's timing, make sure you're doing what He's telling you!" is one of those pieces of advice that is true and sounds great on paper but doesn't quite work out exactly in reality. It's on the level of "If you want to carve a statue of an owl, take a big rock and cut off everything that doesn't look like an owl!" It is true, and sounds great, but it's not going to help anyone actually carve a statue of an owl.

I don't think anyone here is advocating for saying "Screw God, I'm gonna do what I wanna do!" I think what we're all saying is that 1) we're humans and it's hard for us to understand or even know God's will, 2) God's not going to always make everything work out perfectly, and 3) praying and waiting for God's answer isn't going to always get you the results you want, any more than praying for a person to live through a disease/accident always makes them live.

Again, Sarah and Abraham is not a good analogy because of the unique situation of God audibly telling them something, and the fact that we can look at the whole story since it was in the past, whereas it's a bit different living in the present.

Also, looking at the story, I see this is what God said to Abraham (Abram at the time):

Then the word of the LORD came to him: "This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir." - Genesis 15:4

So we can see, God actually didn't say anything to Sarah (Sarai at the time). Nor did God say "A son coming from your wife will be your heir." In fact, God didn't mention Sarai at all. God said "A son from YOUR body, Abram, will be your heir." Since Sarai was barren, then their decision to try and conceive a child through the maidservant wasn't far-fetched. And God didn't say WHEN Abram would be given a son, so Abram was just taking initiative.

It wasn't until way later that God actually said "Oh yeah your wife Sarai is gonna become pregnant just so you know." God didn't say that until way after Ishmael was even born. So again, probably not the best example to use.

[Yuki-Anne]

Not to mention that God used Abraham's initiative (be it ill-conceived or not) and STILL made him the father of nations through Hagar's son. Bad things happened, but God was still good, and though Ishmael wasn't the promised son, God still fulfilled part of his promise through Ishmael.

[Nate]

There's also a pretty good chance God would have used Ishmael to fulfill His promise to Abraham had Sarah not gotten jealous of Hagar and chased her off (despite the fact that it was Sarah's idea in the first place).

[Sheenar]

I went to a friend's wedding today and I am happy to say that I was sincerely happy for them! I used to have a twinge of jealousy at weddings --wondering when it was going to be my turn. But I've learned to be content being single for now --and I love being able to be happy for my friends and not be focusing inwardly on myself.

I do want to get married, but I am content to wait. I'm going to keep living life as full as I can --not gonna sit around and wait for a man to show up before I start living! He can come join me.

I love how God has brought this breakthrough into my life. I used to not go to movies because I couldn't find anyone to come with me. Now I go regardless because I want to. Same with going to restaurants or other outings. I'd like someone to come with me for company, but if nobody does, that's okay --I still will go out and enjoy life. Life's too short to be so concerned about other people and the "what if"s that you fail to live it. Why wait until you find a husband/wife to break out the good china? Make yourself a nice meal and enjoy the nice dishes you have! Continue to live joyfully in the waiting time.

Though, I did recently become friends on Facebook with a guy who was sort of my high school "flame." He and I were really good friends --he took me home with him to meet his family, we rode the bus together --and I sure did like him a lot. He was a cool, authentic Christian guy. There was one Christmas where my family didn't say they were doing anything, so he invited me to spend Christmas with his family. He actually showed up at my house on Christmas morning to pick me up and I had to tell him that my aunt called that morning and we were having the family meal at her house. He looked pretty dejected. He didn't talk to me much after that.

I never forgot that. I felt terrible. I really, really liked him. And now the "what if"s have been coming into my mind...but I'm too afraid to ask him about that day. I'm afraid that I may have really broken his heart. I felt like such a jerk for standing him up like that. (Though he must not be too upset about it since we are friends on FB. He hasn't yet talked to me, though.)