Struggling

[Ella Edric]

For the last few months I've had issues with depression, worse than I've ever had it before. And with that I did some things i regret. I had thought for sure I had gotten rid of it finally, but now its starting to come back again. I don't want to let it get ahold of me again. I really need some prayer, so I can ask God's help and hold onto Him in these hard times. I'm kinda scared because before I had some mild suicidal thoughts and just knowing that had come into my mind scares me. I am scared that those same thoughts will come back. And yeah. I don't think I would actually do it but the thought still scares me.
Anyway, yeah. I can feel the sadness and pain in my heart coming back, and I really need to be able to trust God.
Thanks.

[FllMtl Novelist]

I'm praying for you, Ella. I've also had some depression, and it too comes back occasionally. If you want to talk or vent about anything please feel free to PM me! ^^

[Lynna]

*hugs* I'm praying for you sis!!!!

[goldenspines]

I'll be praying as well, Ella. *hugs*

[Tsukuyomi]

I'll be praying as well ^^ Hang in there, Ella

[TGJesusfreak]

Praying Sis. Hang in there. We're all behind you.

[Okami]

Ella, I know where you're coming from. I've lived with diagnosed depression for three years, and know how destructive it can become, especially in thought and spiritual life. The hardest part is trusting God through it. Don't rule out professional psychological help and medication. I ran from that at first, and that got me nowhere. Do everything you can to make yourself better, you'd go to a doctor and get antibiotics if you were really sick, right? Same difference in a different situation.

Above all, trust God. I'm not one to be saying that, because it's something I still struggle with (to the point that late last night while talking with my roommate, she looked at me and said, "You know what? You need to grow up and get over yourself...by trusting God." Ouch. Tough love.)

Yeah, just know we're here for you. And a ton of us know exactly what that place feels like. My inbox is readily open if you want to talk, so feel free at any time to send me a PM!

[Yuki-Anne]

Hey, I'm praying. I've struggled with depression before, and it's never fun. If you ever need to talk, you can send me a PM.

[Makachop^^128]

Praying

[Aedin]

I'll pray for you too.

[Nate]

Hope you feel better. .-.

[Ella Edric]

Thanks guys. I'm really blessed to have all your support. You guys are really awesome. ^_^

[Lynna]

*hugs* you're welcome sister! PM any time you want ^_^

[Vega]

Im praying for you ^^

[ABlipinTime]

We're all behind ya! (or with you... whichever tells you you're not alone)

Jesus loves you!!!!
Preserve your life for Him and entrust it to Him!

[Atria35]

Praying!

[Ella Edric]

You guys are so awesome. And yeah. i dont get why, but it seems to get worse and worse. and more and more keeps coming up. And I'm having trouble trusting in God.

[Furen]

Just keep trying to hold onto your faith and don't let it go!

I've been praying for you!

Make sure you let us know as soon as you start feeling it, that's important!

love ya!

[Jingo Jaden]

I will pray for you.

[steenajack]

Hey Ella, I just want you to know that God is there for you no matter what happens. He loves you very much Ella. Hey, feel free to send me a PM sometime if you wanna talk about something.

[Twila27]

Will be praying, best of luck in strengthening and retaining your focus on friendship and relationship with Jesus.

[bkilbour]

A good stress reliever is music that you can relate to.
And remember folks, trusting in God is like a muscle. If you pray to be stronger in that, then He will work that muscle out.
I hope that the depression simply goes away.

[Kunoichi]

Praying Ella. I have diagnosed depression and as many have said, don't rule out psychological help as well as medication for the chemical imbalance. Also as many have said, (and i have found for myself), remembering God's promises, trusting even when you don't feel you can, really can help ease the symptoms. God bless x

[Ella Edric]

A good stress reliever is music that you can relate to.
And remember folks, trusting in God is like a muscle. If you pray to be stronger in that, then He will work that muscle out.
I hope that the depression simply goes away.

Thanks. And yeah, music does tend to help me. But lately alot of my problems have revolved arouind the fact thatI dont understand how to trust God. Im afraid that if i let go and let Him hold me I'll fall farther. And I dont know. I've just had troubles with doubts and understanding things going on right now. Alot of times I wonder why God would ever care about a little person like me. And I wonder if He is actually still there.

Praying Ella. I have diagnosed depression and as many have said, don't rule out psychological help as well as medication for the chemical imbalance. Also as many have said, (and i have found for myself), remembering God's promises, trusting even when you don't feel you can, really can help ease the symptoms. God bless x

Thanks. Yeah, I havent ruled those options out. But honestly, that would take me having to go to my parents, who dont know anything about my struggles. And I really dont want them to know and worry. But those thought have crossed my mind.
And yeah, what you said about God's promises. It kinda for me goes back to my struggles with my relationshop with God i mentioned above.

Thanks everyone for all your support.

[Reon]

Hey Ella! =)

You have a great passion and love for God. He desires to build you up and strengthen you. As a result your faith is being tried by fire. The trials your going through now are going to really encourage and help people in the future. Whenever you feel depressed or lonely, picture that light you have inside you shining. There's no darkness in light and the Holy Spirit's backing you up and going to comfort you throughout this entire process.

Psalm 139:12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

You are an overcomer Ella! Let your light shine on your situations, quote scriptures, rebuke fear and depression. You may have to do it on a consistent basis like it sounds like your doing, keep letting hope come from the Lord <3

Praying for ya!

P.S.
You: "And I wonder if He is actually still there."
Little Devotional about God seeming distant or as though He doesn't care: HERE

You: "Alot of times I wonder why God would ever care about a little person like me."
Look at the ravens. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And Ella, you are far more valuable to Him than any birds! (Luke 12:24 NLT)

Verses of encouragement:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen (Ephesians 3:16-21)

[Ella Edric]

Thanks Reon. Your words helped alot. That devotional was pretty cool. lol

[Yamamaya]

I'm sorry I didn't see this thread before. I'll pray for ya.

[Fangirl4God]

I will be praying for you too. I used to be really depressed fr months at a time and have been dealing with it all my life. Sometimes people can be depressed even if here is nothing to be depressed about. It is a really troubling and disrturbing thing that I wish nobody had to go through. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Tamachan319]

*hugs* I'll be praying for you. I don't know what else to say- but I'm praying for you.

[airichan623]

Thanks. And yeah, music does tend to help me. But lately alot of my problems have revolved arouind the fact thatI dont understand how to trust God. Im afraid that if i let go and let Him hold me I'll fall farther. And I dont know. I've just had troubles with doubts and understanding things going on right now. Alot of times I wonder why God would ever care about a little person like me. And I wonder if He is actually still there. And yeah, what you said about God's promises. It kinda for me goes back to my struggles with my relationshop with God i mentioned above.

Thanks everyone for all your support.

I understand this wholeheartedly. To be honest, I'm crying a little right now, because I am just like you. I wish I could hug in person right now. Know that you are not the only Christian who has felt this way. We all go through times like this: and I believe that means that we're growing. Whenever I feel alone, I especially go to Psalm 122. It is a wonderful reminder of how close God is.

Hey Ella! =)
You have a great passion and love for God. He desires to build you up and strengthen you. As a result your faith is being tried by fire. The trials your going through now are going to really encourage and help people in the future. Whenever you feel depressed or lonely, picture that light you have inside you shining. There's no darkness in light and the Holy Spirit's backing you up and going to comfort you throughout this entire process.

You are an overcomer Ella! Let your light shine on your situations, quote scriptures, rebuke fear and depression. You may have to do it on a consistent basis like it sounds like your doing, keep letting hope come from the Lord <3

Praying for ya!

P.S.

Look at the ravens. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And Ella, you are far more valuable to Him than any birds! (Luke 12:24 NLT)

Verses of encouragement:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
(Ephesians 3:16-21)

THIS. Look at this. ^

For music, songs that have helped me are:

Superchick's Hold, Breathe, Crawl, Stand in the Rainand Beauty from Pain, Flyleaf'sRed Sam, and Britt Nicole's Have Your Way. And it's not Christian but it's a great reminder of what comes after the hard parts, especially if you think of it sung by God- Vienna Teng's Lullabye for a Stormy Night. Sorry for the link overload, but this is what encouraged me immensely.

Also I've discovered that sometimes, at least for me, healing comes when you cry in God's arms. Hand it over to him, and just cry. Bottling it up makes it worse. Trust me.

And look to Christian friends, leaders, etc.

Feel free to PM me anytime.
I'll keep praying for you, my net-sis!