Gaaah not again!

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Gaaah not again!

Postby ChristianKitsune » Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:42 am

I just feel so guilty, and that I'm not welcome in my home anymore...

Back in June I adopted a wonderful cat named Thumbs. I got her pretty much the day I moved in, and at the time, my roomie was totally okay with it. She even went out and bought a kitten of her own the very next week. All seemed like it was going to be awesome! It was her first pet ever, and i really looked forward to sharing the moments of pet ownership with her!

Until mid-july when my cat got sick...and couldn't make it to her litter box. For about two weeks we would be cleaning up a mess once a day...It wasn't my cat's fault, she had an infection in her stomach....

After I gave her a round of treatment, she stopped having accidents and all seemed like it was going to be okay! :D

But my roomie keeps complaining about an odor...and it's not just an "It smells weird here." It's "We got to get rid of the cats, it stinks."

I hear something like this at least twice a week, and it's really distressing.

The cats aren't doing anything wrong, they are using their boxes, and not going out of it anymore... And whatever smell she thinks she is smelling isn't cat...because cat smells like ammonia, and it's really really really strong. And it doesn't go away. I would think I'd smell something like that! Especially when I walk in the house after being gone at school for several hours...

Sometimes, I'll come in and the house smells amazing! I really don't understand why my roomie keeps talking about an odor...but it's distressing that she is so quick to blame it on the cats...

I will add that my roomie is hardly ever home, and pretty much just occasionally says "Hi, Kitty," To her cat and then goes up to her room and closes the door... locking him out... :/

I feel like I'm the only one who really loves these two animals, I'm a pet person...when I adopted my cat, I signed up for all the responsibilities that came with her...I signed up for the good days, the bad days, and everything in between.

So when my roomie tells me that the only solution to this odor is to get rid of the cats... it really freaks me out.

I've tried talking to her, and explaining to her that whatever the smell is, the cats aren't the cause, perhaps it's a previous pet odor that lived here before, or the trash needs to be taken out, or the dish washer started.... :/

I told her that I don't want to hear about getting rid of the cats, and I've told her that they are doing what they need to do and that's use their boxes...

But she will say and do things that make feel so guilty that my skin crawls (not literally) Like this morning I woke up to her just walking around our living room holding a bag of recently scooped litter... When I asked her what was wrong she simply said, "It smells disgusting in here..."

I sighed and simply said, "Well look at what you are holding..." And she was like "No, it smelled like this before..."

To which I'm like thinking "What? How?" I really don't smell anything!

We clean the house a lot, we've tried a lot of solutions, like vineger, carpet shampooing, we have air fresheners all over the house. I'm pretty good about cleaning the litter box I'm responsible for one to two times a day.
HOW is she smelling something that I can't???

I'm stressed out and frusterated, I feel so guilty about this when I really don't need to... but I'm scared to talk to my roommate about it anymore. I know that I will only cry, or raise my voice, and I just...don't want or need another repeat of last fall...(Awful roomie issues).

But neither do I believe in something as drastic as removing the cats from the house...

Anyway, I'm sorry for the rant...and if this didn't make any sense... I'm just at a loss here... I want my roomie to be happy and to stop complaining about this...but I don't know what I should say, if I should say anything or just ignore it...

I almost want to tell her that she just need to get rid of her cat...because I'm tired of being the only one to care for him..(She'll help buy litter and food, but she doesn't make more efforts than that to actually love him...) But I know if I do that, then the target will be soley on my cat, and if the smell doesn't go away, I'll feel even worse...

One thing the vet has told me that people who have never owned a pet before, can sometimes blame every bad odor on the pet... which I can really believe.

...I guess I'm just asking for advice on how to fix this situation...
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Postby Sheenar » Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:33 pm

ChristianKitsune (post: 1425791) wrote:I just feel so guilty, and that I'm not welcome in my home anymore...

Back in June I adopted a wonderful cat named Thumbs. I got her pretty much the day I moved in, and at the time, my roomie was totally okay with it. She even went out and bought a kitten of her own the very next week. All seemed like it was going to be awesome! It was her first pet ever, and i really looked forward to sharing the moments of pet ownership with her!

Until mid-july when my cat got sick...and couldn't make it to her litter box. For about two weeks we would be cleaning up a mess once a day...It wasn't my cat's fault, she had an infection in her stomach....

After I gave her a round of treatment, she stopped having accidents and all seemed like it was going to be okay! :D

But my roomie keeps complaining about an odor...and it's not just an "It smells weird here." It's "We got to get rid of the cats, it stinks."

I hear something like this at least twice a week, and it's really distressing.

The cats aren't doing anything wrong, they are using their boxes, and not going out of it anymore... And whatever smell she thinks she is smelling isn't cat...because cat smells like ammonia, and it's really really really strong. And it doesn't go away. I would think I'd smell something like that! Especially when I walk in the house after being gone at school for several hours...

Sometimes, I'll come in and the house smells amazing! I really don't understand why my roomie keeps talking about an odor...but it's distressing that she is so quick to blame it on the cats...

I will add that my roomie is hardly ever home, and pretty much just occasionally says "Hi, Kitty," To her cat and then goes up to her room and closes the door... locking him out... :/

I feel like I'm the only one who really loves these two animals, I'm a pet person...when I adopted my cat, I signed up for all the responsibilities that came with her...I signed up for the good days, the bad days, and everything in between.

So when my roomie tells me that the only solution to this odor is to get rid of the cats... it really freaks me out.

I've tried talking to her, and explaining to her that whatever the smell is, the cats aren't the cause, perhaps it's a previous pet odor that lived here before, or the trash needs to be taken out, or the dish washer started.... :/

I told her that I don't want to hear about getting rid of the cats, and I've told her that they are doing what they need to do and that's use their boxes...

But she will say and do things that make feel so guilty that my skin crawls (not literally) Like this morning I woke up to her just walking around our living room holding a bag of recently scooped litter... When I asked her what was wrong she simply said, "It smells disgusting in here..."

I sighed and simply said, "Well look at what you are holding..." And she was like "No, it smelled like this before..."

To which I'm like thinking "What? How?" I really don't smell anything!

We clean the house a lot, we've tried a lot of solutions, like vineger, carpet shampooing, we have air fresheners all over the house. I'm pretty good about cleaning the litter box I'm responsible for one to two times a day.
HOW is she smelling something that I can't???

I'm stressed out and frusterated, I feel so guilty about this when I really don't need to... but I'm scared to talk to my roommate about it anymore. I know that I will only cry, or raise my voice, and I just...don't want or need another repeat of last fall...(Awful roomie issues).

But neither do I believe in something as drastic as removing the cats from the house...

Anyway, I'm sorry for the rant...and if this didn't make any sense... I'm just at a loss here... I want my roomie to be happy and to stop complaining about this...but I don't know what I should say, if I should say anything or just ignore it...

I almost want to tell her that she just need to get rid of her cat...because I'm tired of being the only one to care for him..(She'll help buy litter and food, but she doesn't make more efforts than that to actually love him...) But I know if I do that, then the target will be soley on my cat, and if the smell doesn't go away, I'll feel even worse...

One thing the vet has told me that people who have never owned a pet before, can sometimes blame every bad odor on the pet... which I can really believe.

...I guess I'm just asking for advice on how to fix this situation...


I'm not sure, hon. I just got out of a similar situation (cousin made me give up one of my 2 cats because she isn't a "cat person", then continually blamed her dog's accidents on Marzipan even though, as you said, cat pee smells strongly of ammonia and is instantly recognizeable.)

I just wanted to say that you have my support. It's a sucky situation to be in. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. *hugs*
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Postby Atria35 » Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:41 am

Geez. Sounds like she didn't realize that taking care of another being is a responsibility, and it can be tougher than just keeping it clean and fed- pets are really like small kids, and they get sick and have accidents..... And it sounds like she didn't know, and now she does, she doesn't want that responsibility.

Those kinds of people make me furious. It sounds obvious that there isn't a probem with a smell, and it's really her. Maybe you should have a talk with her about how pets aren't toys and can't be adopted and discarded at will- just like little kids or the elderly.

I'd also suggest talking to her about transferring ownership of her cat over to you if you can handle/afford/don't mind that, and you might also want to consider microchipping them if you can afford it. I had a friend who's mom decided to take his dog and dump it on the side of the road one day, and if you think that might be a concern, then it would be a good 'just in case' to have.
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Postby ashfire » Wed Sep 22, 2010 10:01 am

I could say its in your roomie's head she smells something. I got six cats and once and a while one of them pees on somthing because he wants to.
I have seen where someone allows a cat or dog to come into their home and then turn around want to give it away because they can't be there with them or just doesn't want to deal with them because the pet did something or they can't get a event out of their mind that happened a while ago.
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Postby ChristianKitsune » Wed Sep 22, 2010 10:51 am

Thank guys... I decided to lock the cats in my room when I'm not home... there is a weird smell in the house...but I honestly do not believe that it is cat re-lated... because it can only be smelled occasionally (Cat urine smell just does NOT go away, and then come back)...... It's frustrating because I also would like to know whats going on with the smell, but I'm really thinking it was a previous person who lived there who had a pet who had accidents and it occassionaly just wafts up or something... if it's a pet related incident at all...

I feel bad for the cats, because they like having the ability to go and sleep whereever they want, but I have to keep them in my room...if I don't I'm afraid she'll just never drop it... I even bought a kennel for my cat if she ever has accidents again...

My cat is blind, and she is only two and she spent her entire life at the animal shelter...I can't just give her back... and I refuse to, she may never find a home... So to ask me to give her back...isn't fair...

=_= and I can't really afford to take care of two kitties, I wish I could... the kitten loves to sleep with me...

But it's funny i think he KNOWS that my roomie is his "mommie" every time she comes home he dashes to the door to greet her...to which she only says "Hey kitty..."

It's sad... :/
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Postby Sheenar » Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:34 am

ChristianKitsune (post: 1426062) wrote:
My cat is blind, and she is only two and she spent her entire life at the animal shelter...I can't just give her back... and I refuse to, she may never find a home... So to ask me to give her back...isn't fair...


Giving up my cat Cecil produced one of the worst feelings ever. I'm still dealing with issues of anger toward my cousin for forcing me into that choice --I was desperate for medical care and needed to move to another county --and she was getting an apartment in that county and invited me to live with her. I felt it was my only chance of getting the services that I needed.

I really wish I had just waited for another place to open up. I can't believe I surrendered my little boy to the animal sanctuary. He got sick a lot and I really got close to him giving him medicine and fluids with a syringe, nursing him back to health. He most likely has feline herpes. I was told that I am free to adopt him back if/when my living situation changes, so I am hoping for a pet-friendly place to open up that I can afford so my little "family" can be together again.
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Postby Hiryu » Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:56 pm

It could just be the way the house smells. Is it just in a certain spot or do you smell it all the time? Do you remember smelling anything before you bought the cats?

If it's really the cats, you should be able to smell the smell whenever you pick them up. Bring them up close to double check though.

Ask your roommate to further describe how it smells. "It's the Cat" really isn't specific enough. Ask her to relate it to something else. These may give you clues as to what the real problem may be.

As a last resort, consider giving the cats a bath. (Google) This would probably give your roommate reason no longer to think that it's the cat causing the smell.
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Postby Kaligraphic » Fri Sep 24, 2010 1:50 am

Cleaning the animals is a good idea, even just for the psychological aspect - once they're regarded as having been cleaned, they'll be less associated with any smell.

Although, and take this with a grain of salt and a Jedi council urging you not to give in to the dark side, in your position I'd be half tempted to have a bar of soap ready for the next comment. Then you could bring it to your roomie and say, "Yeah, about the smell, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Hun, I think it's you."
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Postby ChristianKitsune » Sun Sep 26, 2010 2:50 am

Kaligraphic (post: 1426533) wrote:Cleaning the animals is a good idea, even just for the psychological aspect - once they're regarded as having been cleaned, they'll be less associated with any smell.

Although, and take this with a grain of salt and a Jedi council urging you not to give in to the dark side, in your position I'd be half tempted to have a bar of soap ready for the next comment. Then you could bring it to your roomie and say, "Yeah, about the smell, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Hun, I think it's you."


XDDD you are not the first person to suggest that...

I have some waterless shampoo for the both of them! :D
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Postby Hitomi » Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:00 pm

candles work good, they burn away smells in the air if your not using them, also maybe to wash the lower parts of the walls that might help if there is pee on the lower walls. bathing the cats is not a good idea, cats like to keep there coats very clean.
If the place is a old their might be a smell from that too, or if it rains there alot ( i dont know) there could be some mold spots somewhere too. I would ask her what the smell is like and tell her not to give you the answer its the cats.
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