We cannot help you Aedin. Only God can. Stop trying to find a human that can help you, because you wont find one in your condition.
This is the last I will say. May God be with you and I'm praying for you.
Just wanted to say sorry.
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TGJesusfreak - Posts: 1017
- Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:08 pm
- Location: USA... Earth... the milky way galaxy... the universe...
TGJesusfreak (post: 1423968) wrote:once again a false statment. you're just blaming CAAers on your lack of ability to accept help.
People ARE trying to help Aedin! Don'tsay they're not. You just don't like the advice they're giving. Almost all of what has been said is true. Instead of thinking they're so mean why don't you actually apply what they've advised?
once again your spitting in our faces. It's ok though, I've lready forgiven you.
The fact is YOU don't want to accept their help. It's not that they're not helpful, you just wont accept it and change. I'm prett mich done with trying to help you. Because you downright refuse to accept it! To say that we all hate you is to say that none of us are your friends. This is why you have no friends Aedin.
You wont LET them help you. You just want them to baby you. Actions speak louder than words. You can say "that's not true" but your actions speak for themselves.
I don't want people to baby me. I just want to be accepted. I want people who will be real friends, who I can talk about good and abd stuff with. I'm tired of people assuming everything about me, then they act like it's all my fault. I want to accept help, they just don't want to give the help I need. They all say they can't help me. When all the help I need from them, is people to share their lives with me, people who I don't have to be afraid to talk to. And I don't care whose fault it is, the way most of them have said things, have amde me feel like ****, and a horrible person, and it's all totally unnecessary. How am I supposed to be happy go lucky about that? You don't know what's going through my head, what I'm feeling, what I want. Don't act like you do.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
Aedin (post: 1423949) wrote:I should've expected a Christian website, of all places, to not understand you don't heal instantly. That anxiety times to work through and get over. I should've expected a Christian website to believe that since you take time and effort to do things, you're worthless. I should've expected a Christian website to think you're worthless because you're stuck, confused, spiritually attacked all the time, and have no idea what to do.
Where has anyone said this? I haven't seen this anywhere - quite the opposite, in fact. It will take time - months, years]not[/I] make them seem angry? It's made me sick, it's made me angry, watching you toss yourself into this self-destructive death spiral of blame others, get help, blame the helpers, run away, when you've shown yourself to be smart enough and motivated enough to deal with (or at least to make progress on) these things you keep beating yourself up with.
But lemme tell you something: it's not you that I'm angry with - how could I? I don't know how I'd deal with myself if I was in the same situation; I'd probably do even worse. What is making me angry is the things that you're doing, the cycle of blame and the things you can work through but you refuse to act on - the things you can affect, despite having a sucky past - are dragging other people into this little death spiral you've built for yourself, which you can get out of.
I still love you and I'm praying for you as much as I can, which is basically all I can do until you decide that you're ready to live in the present, beyond these mistakes that others have made that messed you up, and the best way I know how to do that is to forgive these other people and move on.
We are loved even though we suck.
Psalms 37:37 (NHEB)
Mark the perfect man, and see the upright, for there is a future for the man of peace.
Psalms 37:37 (NHEB)
Mark the perfect man, and see the upright, for there is a future for the man of peace.
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Davidizer13 - Posts: 1080
- Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:27 am
- Location: VIOLENT CITY
TGJesusfreak (post: 1423972) wrote:We cannot help you Aedin. Only God can. Stop trying to find a human that can help you, because you wont find one in your condition.
This is the last I will say. May God be with you and I'm praying for you.
I know God's the only one who can help me. I never said otherwise. I wish people would stop assuming everything about me. I was just hoping for support while I did what I had to do to have God help me.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
I want to forgive. I want to change. I just have no frickin clue how to do it. And I keep having misunderstandings with so many people, like everything in this thread, that it's all just impssoible to clear up and fix.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
Roy Mustang (post: 1423970) wrote:Really, and what about the people that pm and haven't said a word to you and you said hurtful things to them right off the bat.
I honestly don't know what you're talking about there.
Doesn't make it right, does it? And how is telling you the truth, even if it was blunt truth a right to go cuss them out. Have you thought about it on why were ban from the chat, because you cuss at users in it?
No, it doesn't make it right. But sometimes I get tired of people only caring what I do wrong, and not caring what others do to me. I cussed at them, because they pushed me to the point where I exploded, especially because they wouldn't listen to me or try to understand me, and then try to help me. They just acted like they had all the answers. And how can you help someone, when you don't know what's going on? And then they got annoyed at me, acted like they did nothing wrong, and acted like everything was my fault.
What about the time that you sent me that hateful pm and told me that my life story was crap? Do you know how it made me feel? But I take it that is okay, since your always the victim in life.
Stop assuming everything about me. I'm sick of people making all this stuff up about me. I sent you that PM, because you and somenoe else, who I won't name, attacked someone who was different from you, because they were different from you, and I stepped in to try to help clear up the misunderstanding, help you both know you weren't so different, and then yo ustarted attacking me and trying to make me feel like a horrible person because I was trying to fix a fight instead of letting you feel sorry for yourself, like you have it worse than anyone else in the world, and basically throw a pity party for yourself (which coincidentally is what a lot of people accuse me of doing, even though I haven't done it).
And saying that no one has talk to you.
They have replied to your threads and pm. But why keep taking if your going to say hateful things to them just because they tell you the truth.
I don't say hateful things to them because they tell me the truth. I say hateful things to them, because they try to make me feel like a horrible person for no reason, when all I need a caring ear.
Also about no one talking to you or ignore you. You never made no effort to actually be a community member. It has just been nothing but threads after threads like this over and over again.
I've made threads in the book sections, the anime sections, the games sections. I Posted in the Lost thread. Coincidentally, everyone ignores that.
Also, once again. Huge anxiety makes it hard to post, to know what to say. Also I've been trying to heal to the point where I don't just talk about problems, but people here just want to keep getting in the way of that. Noone cares about that though.
Have you taken the time to put any effort to be a member here and if you wanted to talk about anime, video games and stuff, then why didn't you do that, even in the chat. But you never did and only said the same stuff that he have said here in these threads.
I have tried to talk about anime, videogames, and other stuff. Almost every time I PM someone, that's all I talk about. But clearly that doesn't mean anything. Clearly you know everything, so if you don't see something, it doesn't exist.
You can take this post as you wish, but why I saying is blunt truth and not to be mean. If you wish to take it that way, that is your problem and not mine.
It would be blunt truth, if most of it was true at all.
This is the last thing that I will say in this thread as I know that it will be turn around like it always does and the blame will go to me, so whatever.
It's not getting turned around. I haven't turned anything around. But again, I guess it's too much effort for people to stop assuming they know everything about me, my life, and what I do and how I act, based on a very very tiny portion of my life. In the future, if you want to actually help someone, stop assuming everything about them.
Like I said, I wish you luck and pray that you get over your problems, but I also pray that your heart will be full of love and not blame to others.
[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Red"]Col. Roy Mustang[/color][/font]
It says lengthen my post to at least five letters, but I did. Weird.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
I've tried to stay out of these conversations for the most part, but I have been reading them and I think I have something to say.
Aedin, since you've been making these threads, I'll address you first. Clearly, the method you've been using to find advice and comfort has not been working. You've made a number of threads and they've all had the same result. When that happens, it usually means it's time to change your method. I know that when I have life problems, for instance, I usually only keep them between a very small amount of people, just as a privacy issue. One thing I never do is post them publicly to air out in the forums.
Now, I notice that several people who have been posting in your threads have extended a helping hand to you and have asked you to PM them personally, and have said that they are willing to help you through some of these thoughts. So, a few suggestions:
--Contact these people exclusively. Let them help you sort through your problems one-on-one. This sort of thing rarely goes over well in a public arena, just because there are so many people saying a variety of different things, and they don't always agree and things can get tense. It sounds like you're tense enough as it is, so why not think about keeping these sorts of conversations just between a few people who have volunteered to help you out? In the meantime, while you're keeping these sorts of conversations largely private, you can use the rest of the time to engage with the rest of the forum on a number of different topics that will help you find common ground with others and introduce people to a different side of you.
--Do something about the reason why you're offended. In a case such as this one, there are always problems on both sides. Yes, people may have treated you unfairly in the past, but you have a choice in every single response you give to them. If someone brings something about the way you're acting to your attention and it offends you, instead of shifting blame onto them for trying to help you, look at yourself and what you're doing. Would you want someone to treat you the same way? Put yourself in their shoes, and decide how you are going to treat them in return. If you end up deciding that something is, in fact, wrong with the way you're treating people, then apologize to them for it and try your best to change that pattern of behavior. We often have to hear things about ourselves that we don't like to hear, but it doesn't mean they aren't true. It also doesn't mean that the person telling us these things is our enemy.
Another good thing to remember is this. You say people are accusing you of being a bad person, but you have to remember: we are all bad people.
10As it is written:
"There is no one righteous, not even one;
11there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
. . .
21"But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
Romans 3:10-11, 21-24
That pretty much sums it up. None of us are good people on our own, and the only difference between us and the rest of the world is that we choose to follow Jesus, and are therefore made righteous in Him. This is something important to remember when you perceive that people are betraying you. Since none of us are inherently good, none of us are perfect, and we will all make mistakes. The first step to getting over the pain you feel when that sort of thing happens is simply forgiving them. But here's another thing to think about.
You mention that you've had a turbulent family life thus far. I've watched all of these threads, and I'm aware of some of the things that have happened between you and other members you claim have hurt you in the past. Could it be that you're so used to the abusive home life you're telling us about, that you can't see the difference between someone being abusive and someone simply correcting you in love? I think that's something to think about. Every single one of these posts have been made with the intention of helping you. Be sure you aren't reading them in such a way that causes you to perceive them differently than they were intended to be read.
That's really all I think I have to say right now. I may or may not come back to add more later, but I would at least like you to think about some of the things that I said.
Aedin, since you've been making these threads, I'll address you first. Clearly, the method you've been using to find advice and comfort has not been working. You've made a number of threads and they've all had the same result. When that happens, it usually means it's time to change your method. I know that when I have life problems, for instance, I usually only keep them between a very small amount of people, just as a privacy issue. One thing I never do is post them publicly to air out in the forums.
Now, I notice that several people who have been posting in your threads have extended a helping hand to you and have asked you to PM them personally, and have said that they are willing to help you through some of these thoughts. So, a few suggestions:
--Contact these people exclusively. Let them help you sort through your problems one-on-one. This sort of thing rarely goes over well in a public arena, just because there are so many people saying a variety of different things, and they don't always agree and things can get tense. It sounds like you're tense enough as it is, so why not think about keeping these sorts of conversations just between a few people who have volunteered to help you out? In the meantime, while you're keeping these sorts of conversations largely private, you can use the rest of the time to engage with the rest of the forum on a number of different topics that will help you find common ground with others and introduce people to a different side of you.
--Do something about the reason why you're offended. In a case such as this one, there are always problems on both sides. Yes, people may have treated you unfairly in the past, but you have a choice in every single response you give to them. If someone brings something about the way you're acting to your attention and it offends you, instead of shifting blame onto them for trying to help you, look at yourself and what you're doing. Would you want someone to treat you the same way? Put yourself in their shoes, and decide how you are going to treat them in return. If you end up deciding that something is, in fact, wrong with the way you're treating people, then apologize to them for it and try your best to change that pattern of behavior. We often have to hear things about ourselves that we don't like to hear, but it doesn't mean they aren't true. It also doesn't mean that the person telling us these things is our enemy.
Another good thing to remember is this. You say people are accusing you of being a bad person, but you have to remember: we are all bad people.
10As it is written:
"There is no one righteous, not even one;
11there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
. . .
21"But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
Romans 3:10-11, 21-24
That pretty much sums it up. None of us are good people on our own, and the only difference between us and the rest of the world is that we choose to follow Jesus, and are therefore made righteous in Him. This is something important to remember when you perceive that people are betraying you. Since none of us are inherently good, none of us are perfect, and we will all make mistakes. The first step to getting over the pain you feel when that sort of thing happens is simply forgiving them. But here's another thing to think about.
You mention that you've had a turbulent family life thus far. I've watched all of these threads, and I'm aware of some of the things that have happened between you and other members you claim have hurt you in the past. Could it be that you're so used to the abusive home life you're telling us about, that you can't see the difference between someone being abusive and someone simply correcting you in love? I think that's something to think about. Every single one of these posts have been made with the intention of helping you. Be sure you aren't reading them in such a way that causes you to perceive them differently than they were intended to be read.
That's really all I think I have to say right now. I may or may not come back to add more later, but I would at least like you to think about some of the things that I said.
[color="DeepSkyBlue"]4 8 15 16 23[/color] 42
[color="PaleGreen"]Rushia: YOU ARE MY FAVORITE IGNORANT AMERICAN OF IRISH DECENT. I LOVE YOU AND YOUR POTATOES.[/color]
[color="Orange"]WELCOME TO MOES[/color]
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Radical Dreamer - Posts: 7950
- Joined: Sat May 28, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: Some place where I can think up witty things to say under the "Location" category.
This reply is to Davidizier. Just a lot to respond to, so I"m putting it in little bits and pieces.
"Where has anyone said this? I haven't seen this anywhere - quite the opposite, in fact. It will take time - months, years; some wounds might never heal, even. However, it'll also take effort on your part - lots of it."
They haven't said it, but they've shown it. They keep acting like I'm horrible and self=-centered because I haven't responded to other people's threads, or PMs, or made more of an effort to post about happier things. They've shown it, because they keep getting annoyed with me for that stuff, and judging me for it, without bothering to understand, or give me the time I need, to heal and get to a place where I can do those things without getting overwhelmed and have panic attacks. I know it'll take effort on my part. That's why I kept posting here. I thought getting my emotions out, to a group of people I thought would care, would help me heal.
"Based on what you posted last time you were here and now, however, I haven't seen any indication that you've made an effort to deal with these same issues. You're still posting the same dyspeptic rants about how everyone on this site - no, everyone in the world - has formed this vast coalition to hurt you, and you're lashing out at the people who are honestly praying for you and trying their best to help you when they come and have the audacity to reach out to you like you've asked them to."
All I can say about that, is I'm making efforts, I'm making lots of efforts. It just takes time to work through things. How can you, in one part, talk about how it'll take time to heal, and then in thge next part, basically say I'm not healing fast enough? I've been hurt by lots of people on this site, it'll take time to work through that, and trust them. And you're basically saying I'm not doing it fast enough. I never said everyone's out to get me. I'm frickin terrified that they are, because I've been hurt again and again, and almost every time I try to talk about happier stuff, people don't respond to me, or they barely respond. That doesn't help. Yet everyone here still seems to blame it all on me. All I wanted, is people to talk to me, to share themselves with me. People I could trust enough, to share both the good and the bad with. And all I've seen so far, is people judging me and condemning me for not being perfect, for making mistakes, who refuse to acknowledge they could've done something wrong, they could've said things a different way, they could've been helpful. That's what I see on this site. I blame myself for everything, yet as soon as I acknowledge something is someone else's fault, people rail at me for "always blaming everything one everyone else" when if they paid attention, they'd know that's not true.
"And then, when the people you hurt come back and say, "No, you can't do that anymore," you refuse to take responsibility for the fact that you're hurting people just like they've been hurting you, you hide behind your excuses: "Chemical imbalance!" you shout, "Bad family life!" despite the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of people (a few of them, I assume, are even on the site trying to help you) who went through the same kinds of things you did and worse, and have dealt with them successfully, and have stopped blaming them for their problems."
I don't know what you mean by the first sentence. And when you've been raised your whole life to know how meaningless you are, how nothing about you matters, it's hard to believe you matter enough to affect anyone to hurt anyone. And I've never hid behind excuses, I've just tried to explain things, to help people understand me. Apparently something's wrong with me because I haven't healed enough yet, so thanks for that.
"Watching this happen again and again, seeing it hurt the people who are trying their level best to help you, how could it not make them seem angry? It's made me sick, it's made me angry, watching you toss yourself into this self-destructive death spiral of blame others, get help, blame the helpers, run away, when you've shown yourself to be smart enough and motivated enough to deal with (or at least to make progress on) these things you keep beating yourself up with."
Once again, I've never been able to believe I matter enough to hurt anyone or make anyone angry for a legitimate reason. I'm in this spiral, because I want a very simple kind of help, and almost every single person I've met, either hasn't been willing to give it, or they end up abandoning me too, even when I'm not all negative. I want people to stick by me, who will let me into their life, and let me let them into mine, who I cna share the good and the bad with. I just haven't found anyone like that yet. ANd given today's event, I don't think I'll find anyone like that here. And how can I not blame the helpers, when instead of helping, they just make me feel worse, and don't care enough to apologize or acknowledge they could've gone about things a different way, they just immediately blame it all on me?
"But lemme tell you something: it's not you that I'm angry with - how could I? I don't know how I'd deal with myself if I was in the same situation; I'd probably do even worse. What is making me angry is the things that you're doing, the cycle of blame and the things you can work through but you refuse to act on - the things you can affect, despite having a sucky past - are dragging other people into this little death spiral you've built for yourself, which you can get out of."
I've been working on working through them for months. I've been trying to my best to change things. I've been seeing counselors for two years. It's just hard when your biggest problem is being alone, and the knowledge is no matter what you do, you're gonna be alone forever anyway? I don't refuse to act one anything. I don't refuse to affect anything. We've barely talked, you don't know a thing about what I do. SO again, how can you talk about how much time it takes to heal and work through things, and then keep acting like I'm not working or healing fast enough? You sound really judgmental. I'm working on my faith, I'm working to get out of the spiral. It's just hard to do it alone. And what I hear most from people on this site is "I can't help you" even though all I want are friends to talk to, to share the good and bad with, to talk about games and books and anime with, yet they clearly don't want to be that to me, since they say they can't help me? So how am I not supposed to feel alone?
"
I still love you and I'm praying for you as much as I can, which is basically all I can do until you decide that you're ready to live in the present, beyond these mistakes that others have made that messed you up, and the best way I know how to do that is to forgive these other people and move on."
I want to do that, more than anything. I thought this site could help me do that. But I've never been able to meet anyone who can help me do that, and so far, all this site has really done is damage my faith and convince me even God hates me (which yes, I'm sure you're all gonna go on about "he doesn't take responsibility, he blames everyone else for everything" as if it's such a huge deal when people acknowledge you can mess up like everyone else, but I'm starting to feel ldike none of you have truly listened to me from the beginning, so whatever.
"Where has anyone said this? I haven't seen this anywhere - quite the opposite, in fact. It will take time - months, years; some wounds might never heal, even. However, it'll also take effort on your part - lots of it."
They haven't said it, but they've shown it. They keep acting like I'm horrible and self=-centered because I haven't responded to other people's threads, or PMs, or made more of an effort to post about happier things. They've shown it, because they keep getting annoyed with me for that stuff, and judging me for it, without bothering to understand, or give me the time I need, to heal and get to a place where I can do those things without getting overwhelmed and have panic attacks. I know it'll take effort on my part. That's why I kept posting here. I thought getting my emotions out, to a group of people I thought would care, would help me heal.
"Based on what you posted last time you were here and now, however, I haven't seen any indication that you've made an effort to deal with these same issues. You're still posting the same dyspeptic rants about how everyone on this site - no, everyone in the world - has formed this vast coalition to hurt you, and you're lashing out at the people who are honestly praying for you and trying their best to help you when they come and have the audacity to reach out to you like you've asked them to."
All I can say about that, is I'm making efforts, I'm making lots of efforts. It just takes time to work through things. How can you, in one part, talk about how it'll take time to heal, and then in thge next part, basically say I'm not healing fast enough? I've been hurt by lots of people on this site, it'll take time to work through that, and trust them. And you're basically saying I'm not doing it fast enough. I never said everyone's out to get me. I'm frickin terrified that they are, because I've been hurt again and again, and almost every time I try to talk about happier stuff, people don't respond to me, or they barely respond. That doesn't help. Yet everyone here still seems to blame it all on me. All I wanted, is people to talk to me, to share themselves with me. People I could trust enough, to share both the good and the bad with. And all I've seen so far, is people judging me and condemning me for not being perfect, for making mistakes, who refuse to acknowledge they could've done something wrong, they could've said things a different way, they could've been helpful. That's what I see on this site. I blame myself for everything, yet as soon as I acknowledge something is someone else's fault, people rail at me for "always blaming everything one everyone else" when if they paid attention, they'd know that's not true.
"And then, when the people you hurt come back and say, "No, you can't do that anymore," you refuse to take responsibility for the fact that you're hurting people just like they've been hurting you, you hide behind your excuses: "Chemical imbalance!" you shout, "Bad family life!" despite the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of people (a few of them, I assume, are even on the site trying to help you) who went through the same kinds of things you did and worse, and have dealt with them successfully, and have stopped blaming them for their problems."
I don't know what you mean by the first sentence. And when you've been raised your whole life to know how meaningless you are, how nothing about you matters, it's hard to believe you matter enough to affect anyone to hurt anyone. And I've never hid behind excuses, I've just tried to explain things, to help people understand me. Apparently something's wrong with me because I haven't healed enough yet, so thanks for that.
"Watching this happen again and again, seeing it hurt the people who are trying their level best to help you, how could it not make them seem angry? It's made me sick, it's made me angry, watching you toss yourself into this self-destructive death spiral of blame others, get help, blame the helpers, run away, when you've shown yourself to be smart enough and motivated enough to deal with (or at least to make progress on) these things you keep beating yourself up with."
Once again, I've never been able to believe I matter enough to hurt anyone or make anyone angry for a legitimate reason. I'm in this spiral, because I want a very simple kind of help, and almost every single person I've met, either hasn't been willing to give it, or they end up abandoning me too, even when I'm not all negative. I want people to stick by me, who will let me into their life, and let me let them into mine, who I cna share the good and the bad with. I just haven't found anyone like that yet. ANd given today's event, I don't think I'll find anyone like that here. And how can I not blame the helpers, when instead of helping, they just make me feel worse, and don't care enough to apologize or acknowledge they could've gone about things a different way, they just immediately blame it all on me?
"But lemme tell you something: it's not you that I'm angry with - how could I? I don't know how I'd deal with myself if I was in the same situation; I'd probably do even worse. What is making me angry is the things that you're doing, the cycle of blame and the things you can work through but you refuse to act on - the things you can affect, despite having a sucky past - are dragging other people into this little death spiral you've built for yourself, which you can get out of."
I've been working on working through them for months. I've been trying to my best to change things. I've been seeing counselors for two years. It's just hard when your biggest problem is being alone, and the knowledge is no matter what you do, you're gonna be alone forever anyway? I don't refuse to act one anything. I don't refuse to affect anything. We've barely talked, you don't know a thing about what I do. SO again, how can you talk about how much time it takes to heal and work through things, and then keep acting like I'm not working or healing fast enough? You sound really judgmental. I'm working on my faith, I'm working to get out of the spiral. It's just hard to do it alone. And what I hear most from people on this site is "I can't help you" even though all I want are friends to talk to, to share the good and bad with, to talk about games and books and anime with, yet they clearly don't want to be that to me, since they say they can't help me? So how am I not supposed to feel alone?
"
I still love you and I'm praying for you as much as I can, which is basically all I can do until you decide that you're ready to live in the present, beyond these mistakes that others have made that messed you up, and the best way I know how to do that is to forgive these other people and move on."
I want to do that, more than anything. I thought this site could help me do that. But I've never been able to meet anyone who can help me do that, and so far, all this site has really done is damage my faith and convince me even God hates me (which yes, I'm sure you're all gonna go on about "he doesn't take responsibility, he blames everyone else for everything" as if it's such a huge deal when people acknowledge you can mess up like everyone else, but I'm starting to feel ldike none of you have truly listened to me from the beginning, so whatever.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
And Radical Dreamer posts something that actually makes sense, and is actually helpful. Why can't more people be like you?
I read RD's post again and again. And all I have to say, is why is it so hard for most of you to not be like her? She posts, she seems caring, compassionate, understanding. And then I read most of your guys posts, and all I see are assumptions, acting like everything I do is wrong, I see sarcasm, I see anger, when all I've done, is be sad, or need patience and understanding, or I saw this place as a safe place to let my emotions out. I see lots of misunderstandings, and when I try to clear them up, people blame me more, act like I'm making excuses, they get more annoyed at me. I guess my point is, Jesus said to tell the truth in love. That's what I see in RD's post. Why is it so hard for the rest of you?
I read RD's post again and again. And all I have to say, is why is it so hard for most of you to not be like her? She posts, she seems caring, compassionate, understanding. And then I read most of your guys posts, and all I see are assumptions, acting like everything I do is wrong, I see sarcasm, I see anger, when all I've done, is be sad, or need patience and understanding, or I saw this place as a safe place to let my emotions out. I see lots of misunderstandings, and when I try to clear them up, people blame me more, act like I'm making excuses, they get more annoyed at me. I guess my point is, Jesus said to tell the truth in love. That's what I see in RD's post. Why is it so hard for the rest of you?
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
Everyone posting in this thread is trying to help you. I don't know why you can't see that.
No one is posting here to be mean. They're trying to give the best advice that they can. A lot of people here have given good advice. They're taking time out of their day to try to help you, but you won't even take any of it into consideration. I really don't appreciate you responding to them so rudely.
No one is posting here to be mean. They're trying to give the best advice that they can. A lot of people here have given good advice. They're taking time out of their day to try to help you, but you won't even take any of it into consideration. I really don't appreciate you responding to them so rudely.
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Cloud500 - Posts: 283
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:48 pm
What Rad said is exactly what we've been trying to say. I guess she just says it in a much more understandable way. But hey, if you wont listen to us listen to Rad. she knows what she's talking about. and most of all grow closer to God.
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TGJesusfreak - Posts: 1017
- Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:08 pm
- Location: USA... Earth... the milky way galaxy... the universe...
I'd explain, but then I'd get to hear more about how I make excuses and twist everything and blame everyone else for everything wrong in my life.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
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TGJesusfreak - Posts: 1017
- Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:08 pm
- Location: USA... Earth... the milky way galaxy... the universe...
TGJesusfreak (post: 1423986) wrote:What Rad said is exactly what we've been trying to say. I guess she just says it in a much more understandable way. But hey, if you wont listen to us listen to Rad. she knows what she's talking about. and most of all grow closer to God.
I just don't get why it's so hard for people to say things like Rad did. You all come across (intentionally or not) so hostile, so angry so condemning and judgmental. How you say things affect how people react. If you all had said things more like how Rad said them, I wouldn't have been so hurt, and I would've reacted differently. And I tried to explain that, but all I got to hear was how I make excuses for everything and I blame everything on everyone else, which neither was true. Most of you just don't seem to want to believe that.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
TGJesusfreak (post: 1423988) wrote:Just pray in earnest that God will help you Aedin. He will, that very second.
I'm praying he will. I'm also praying he'll help me find a good community, online and off, to help me support, and to help me find good people who will be good friends, who I can share the good and the bad with. However, I no longer feel comfortable here, so please pray God will help me find the place and people I'm looking for.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
I know you probably won't believe me, but I've been in a situation similar to yours before. I still don't have any close friends. I don't have people to talk to whenever I feel like it or people to hang out with. It gets pretty lonely sometimes. I've been waiting and waiting--and you know what? I'll continue to wait. I'll continue to keep moving forward and trying to improve my life. Yeah, it's rough but if you have faith that God will work things out, these things will become easier to get through.
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Cloud500 - Posts: 283
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:48 pm
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ShiroiHikari - Posts: 7564
- Joined: Wed May 28, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Somewhere between 1983 and 1989
Aedin wrote:Jesus said to tell the truth in love.
1. The truth is sometimes harsh and disturbing.
2. Sometimes love isn't being nice to a person. Sometimes love is being very hard on a person, very painful for a person.
Sometimes love is punching your alcoholic friend in his face so you can take that beer away from him because he's destroying his life and won't listen to anyone. Sometimes love is kicking someone out of the church because their behavior is causing other members to lose their way.
Love isn't always being nice. There is a thing called tough love. I don't think any of us here are trying to metaphorically punch you in the face or anything though.
Also, again man, you're trying to turn us into the bad guys and leave yourself blameless. You're like "Why can't everyone be like RD?" Guess what? We're not RD. Some people have a way with words. Others not have way. Some people find it almost impossible to express themselves well in text. I'm one of them! How many times have I made a joke on here, only to be misunderstood? Plenty! How many times have people on this site not realized when someone was being sarcastic? Lots!
It's hard to give accurate ideas of how we're trying to say things, and sometimes even what we're trying to say, because not everyone here is a Pulitzer Prize winning novelist. We're maybe not that good at expressing ourselves with the written word. Others are the opposite. Some people can write beautifully but you try to talk to them in person and they stammer and stutter and can't string a full sentence together without difficulty. People are different, man.
If I wanted to be like RD I'd have to buy a bottle of hair dye and a couple of softballs to shove down my shirt and gain about 5,000 times more artistic talent than I currently have.
This is why people are frustrated, man. You lash out at them and accuse them of things that they're not doing, but then you play the same card, you say people lash out at you and accuse you of things you're not doing. Pull the plank from your eye before you tell people to remove their speck. Look at how you're treating others exactly how you say they're treating you. That's all I'm saying. People here are trying to help you, and if they're not good at wording it properly, that's not their fault. They're trying, and when you get mad at them and say rude things and whine about it, then yeah, people are going to feel like "Well why should I help him?" Because you're the one turning them away.
And I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm saying this because you need to realize it, and stop. Same as if I had an alcoholic friend, I wouldn't say "Don't drink that beer or I will punch you in the face" because I'm trying to be a jerk, I'd be saying it because I care about them and don't want to see them hurt themselves.
Ezekiel 23:20
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Nate - Posts: 10725
- Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 12:00 pm
- Location: Oh right, like anyone actually cares.
What Nate said. Why would I waste my time here if I hated you? I either (a) am really really bored or (b) actually care.Jesus said to tell the truth in love.
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TGJesusfreak - Posts: 1017
- Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:08 pm
- Location: USA... Earth... the milky way galaxy... the universe...
All I'm gonna say is, when you guys learn to truly care and wnat to help someone, if they're doing something that bothers me, or that you don't understand, you should ask them why they're xdoing that thing, or acting that way, instead of lashing out at them. Being kind and understanding always goes a much a longer way.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
Aedin (post: 1423998) wrote:All I'm gonna say is, when you guys learn to truly care and wnat to help someone, if they're doing something that bothers me, or that you don't understand, you should ask them why they're xdoing that thing, or acting that way, instead of lashing out at them. Being kind and understanding always goes a much a longer way.
Aedin, with all truth and honesty I've not seen a single unkind thing said to you, unless we're talking about today's conversation which was born out of frustration rather than maliciousness. Everyone's reactions to you have been a very good textbook example of "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing."
There is a wide gulf between people saying stuff that you don't want to hear (but perhaps need to hear) and people lashing out at you. Most everyone who participated in your round of prayer threads last spring bowed out. Everyone who participated this time was fresh, they'd neither met you nor had any reason to bear you ill-will.
You've said you wanted to talk about anime and games... My advice to you? Do it. If you want to meld into a community, just meld into it. Talk to people about stuff other than your problems. Join in on pre-existing threads, join in the chat. PMs are probably not the best place, but out in the open to talk about your fandom is just fine. You've made one thread about computer games, but you've literally had no other interactions publicly beyond that thread which did not pertain to the topic at hand...
Is it wrong that you asked for help? No. Clearly the fact that so many people came to help you is a testament to that, but it was the single occupation of your time here both this time and last time and you've been exceptionally reluctant to accept any advice or well-wishes even though they were frequently quite good.
My mother used to tell me that if I kept experiencing an issue I should look for the common denominator and that might show me the problem. If you meet multiple people that all give you the same problem, most of the time the only thing linking them is you. I'm giving you a heart-felt non-malicious request to look into your own heart and your own actions.
"I do not feel obliged to believe that that same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use." - Galileo Galilei
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Etoh*the*Greato - Posts: 2618
- Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2007 12:46 pm
- Location: Missouri
What is it exactly that you would like everyone to do for you? We're listening to what you have to say. People are offering to talk with you in private. They're posting the best advice they can give on this thread. Like Nate was saying, we're not all great writers and may not be able to convey exactly what we want to. If you're interpreting their words as being something hurtful, you shouldn't be. No one is being mean.
I'm just not understanding what you're expecting from all of us.
I'm just not understanding what you're expecting from all of us.
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Cloud500 - Posts: 283
- Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:48 pm
"You lash out at them and accuse them of things that they're not doing, but then you play the same card, you say people lash out at you and accuse you of things you're not doing. Pull the plank from your eye before you tell people to remove their speck. Look at how you're treating others exactly how you say they're treating you. That's all I'm saying. People here are trying to help you, and if they're not good at wording it properly, that's not their fault. They're trying, and when you get mad at them and say rude things and whine about it, then yeah, people are going to feel like "Well why should I help him?" Because you're the one turning them away."
I lash out, because they appear to be being mean to me for no reason. And instead of clearing it up, they just keep acting the same way. I guess that's my point. If it's al ljust a misunderstanding, and noone's trying to be mean to me or hurt me, why can't we clear it up, why can't they be more patient to me? I've met a lot of hateful people, when I feel people are being mean to me, or whatever else I've said, I get hurt, really hurt, and I withdraw. I treat others the way I feel they're treating me. Probably because I've had a lot of people I was really nice to, just become a total ***** to me (I don't mean people on this site) and just hurt me out of nowhere, and they don't care. I try to clear it up with them, and they don't care. They only cared what I did wrong. I'm sorry if I've said rude things, but I haven't whined. Ever. I guess my point is, if people seem to be mean to me, or hate me, why can't we just work through it? Why can't they just say "I didn't mean for it to look like I was acting this way, or treating you this way". Instead it just feels like they blame everything on me, and dit feels like they don't care to understand, so I get hurt more, and I lash out more. And I mean, I made this thread to apologize to everyone. Then it seemed to turn into a topic about telling me all the things I do wrong. I know everything I do wrong. I drive myself insane about it every day. I blame myself for everything. Every bad thing that happens (unless I'm sure it's someone else's fault, which is how I've been in this thread) I blame myself and myself alone. You don't know how many times I blamed myself for everything that went wrong with my girlfriend and I, even when she'd admit it was her fault, I'd keep hatting myself and blaming myself. I guess my point in all this, is I think people should try to be more understanding. They should communicate more, talk more. Myself included. This whole thread, it's just felt like people railing at every single thing I do wrong, and picking at all my mistakes. I'm not saying it's their fault, I'm not saying it's my fault. That's just how it's felt, so I got reall ydefensive. Just how I am.
I want to chaneg, I want to get better. I'm just terrified at the thought of doing it alone. I'm terrified of feeling like I have no community, or people, to support me. It's not that I don't believe I need to change, or anything. I know I need to change. I'm just scared of trying, without any support. I'm scared of trying and failing.
And it's not an excuse, but I've had so many people I trusted, who betrayed me, it's scary to try to trust new people. It's hard not to take things the wrong way. and I guess I just developed this thing, where if I feel someone's being mean, or hurtful, I believe that's what they're doing, meaning, and intending to be. I just feel like
this whole thread is full of misunderstandings, and I wish I could make it all right.
And I think it's pretty lame that Shiroi basically tells me to shut up, when I never did anything to her, and I stand up for myself because I did nothing wrong to her, and people only care what I said to her. I think it's kindof lame, that this is the kind of forum, where you can tell someone to shut up, if you're popular, and noone cares, but if you stand up for yourself, you get railed at and insulted.
I lash out, because they appear to be being mean to me for no reason. And instead of clearing it up, they just keep acting the same way. I guess that's my point. If it's al ljust a misunderstanding, and noone's trying to be mean to me or hurt me, why can't we clear it up, why can't they be more patient to me? I've met a lot of hateful people, when I feel people are being mean to me, or whatever else I've said, I get hurt, really hurt, and I withdraw. I treat others the way I feel they're treating me. Probably because I've had a lot of people I was really nice to, just become a total ***** to me (I don't mean people on this site) and just hurt me out of nowhere, and they don't care. I try to clear it up with them, and they don't care. They only cared what I did wrong. I'm sorry if I've said rude things, but I haven't whined. Ever. I guess my point is, if people seem to be mean to me, or hate me, why can't we just work through it? Why can't they just say "I didn't mean for it to look like I was acting this way, or treating you this way". Instead it just feels like they blame everything on me, and dit feels like they don't care to understand, so I get hurt more, and I lash out more. And I mean, I made this thread to apologize to everyone. Then it seemed to turn into a topic about telling me all the things I do wrong. I know everything I do wrong. I drive myself insane about it every day. I blame myself for everything. Every bad thing that happens (unless I'm sure it's someone else's fault, which is how I've been in this thread) I blame myself and myself alone. You don't know how many times I blamed myself for everything that went wrong with my girlfriend and I, even when she'd admit it was her fault, I'd keep hatting myself and blaming myself. I guess my point in all this, is I think people should try to be more understanding. They should communicate more, talk more. Myself included. This whole thread, it's just felt like people railing at every single thing I do wrong, and picking at all my mistakes. I'm not saying it's their fault, I'm not saying it's my fault. That's just how it's felt, so I got reall ydefensive. Just how I am.
I want to chaneg, I want to get better. I'm just terrified at the thought of doing it alone. I'm terrified of feeling like I have no community, or people, to support me. It's not that I don't believe I need to change, or anything. I know I need to change. I'm just scared of trying, without any support. I'm scared of trying and failing.
And it's not an excuse, but I've had so many people I trusted, who betrayed me, it's scary to try to trust new people. It's hard not to take things the wrong way. and I guess I just developed this thing, where if I feel someone's being mean, or hurtful, I believe that's what they're doing, meaning, and intending to be. I just feel like
this whole thread is full of misunderstandings, and I wish I could make it all right.
And I think it's pretty lame that Shiroi basically tells me to shut up, when I never did anything to her, and I stand up for myself because I did nothing wrong to her, and people only care what I said to her. I think it's kindof lame, that this is the kind of forum, where you can tell someone to shut up, if you're popular, and noone cares, but if you stand up for yourself, you get railed at and insulted.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming
- Aedin
- Posts: 415
- Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:03 am
I've seen enough. There really is no helping you. Here's why.
If this post seems too utterly absurd or ridiculous to be taken seriously, don't.
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Htom Sirveaux - Posts: 2429
- Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2003 6:00 pm
- Location: Camp Hill, PA
Htom Sirveaux (post: 1424007) wrote:I've seen enough. There really is no helping you. Here's why.
While I'm not sure that's an appropriate diagnosis to make (we aren't psychiatrists here), since you have mentioned talking to counselors, you really need to look into a higher level of psychological training- couselors can only do so much. Psychiatrists are far more trained and have a wider range of diagnoses they can make. It doesn't seem like your meds are helping your feelings, and it's possible that it's because they aren't treating the right things. It could very well be that the counselors made the wrong diagnosis.
Seek out a psychiatrist.
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Atria35 - Posts: 6295
- Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:30 am
I admit that I know absolutely nothing about this situation in regards to whom you speak with on CAA or your situation for the most part but from what I’ve gathered in these posts by what you’re expressing and how you feel about yourself, the world, and people in general that you would benefit greatly from: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.
“Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel/act better even if the situation does not change.” – so explains NACBT.
Now, I’m not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist for the matter even though there are 2 in my family but anyway, to get back to the point. You say you’ve been to “counselors” before and since you are on medication I am assuming they were psychiatrists, as psychologists cannot prescribe and you say it doesn’t work. A large part of therapy is the wanting to get better and to make changes in yourself that you do say you wish to do.
Also, therapists are regarded in the same way as shoes: if it isn’t a good fit or you do not feel as if you’re getting anywhere with that particular person then it isn’t the right one for you. Thankfully, there are many others who offer different kinds of therapy.
Again, I’m not sure what kind of therapy you’ve been having (psychodynamic, psychoanalysis, humanist therapy, etc) or am I trained/skilled at all in this field but I would recommend that you continue to see your counselors and perhaps, find a therapist you really connect with because if you’re both not on the same page then you won’t be getting anywhere at all.
And by the way you’ve described your life I doubt you want to spend another 22 years feeling this way. There is hope and healing. As everyone has started (including you) it can be a long process with CBT it helps you to understand your thoughts and actions as well as that of others. CBT is for many people with a gambit of issues such as Bipolar, OCD, panic disorder, clinical depression, bulimia nervosa, etc and have had dramatic results as well as gained wonderful skills to help them through the ups and downs of their lives as well as to better handle stressful or difficult situations.
I know it can be hard to understand what people think/feel about you as you yourself feel pretty miserable inside but one thing you have to try and understand is what is hard for you can be hard for others as well but we are listening and willing to help. Sometimes people get frustrated but that doesn’t mean they do not want to help. Everyone has there bad days. We’re all human. ☺ Just remember there are people who care and are here for you. You’re never alone.
Don’t give up hope. Life is far too short to be spent depressed or dwelling on the past but wanting to change for the better and having a therapist to guide you through this process can be a powerful thing as you are not doing this alone but with the help of someone who is trained to aid you in your mental health. With Therapy it's a joint process. You each work together to better understand your problems and to set up a plan in order to help you heal, face/deal with your problems, and change.
Again, I am not a –trained- professional in this field nor do I want you to feel like I'm trying to "shrink you" because I am not as I do not know all of the dynamics of what’s been going on between here at CAA, in your life, etc. I’m just expressing my general opinion to you. Hopefully, I haven’t overstepped my boundries! ^_^
“Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel/act better even if the situation does not change.” – so explains NACBT.
Now, I’m not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist for the matter even though there are 2 in my family but anyway, to get back to the point. You say you’ve been to “counselors” before and since you are on medication I am assuming they were psychiatrists, as psychologists cannot prescribe and you say it doesn’t work. A large part of therapy is the wanting to get better and to make changes in yourself that you do say you wish to do.
Also, therapists are regarded in the same way as shoes: if it isn’t a good fit or you do not feel as if you’re getting anywhere with that particular person then it isn’t the right one for you. Thankfully, there are many others who offer different kinds of therapy.
Again, I’m not sure what kind of therapy you’ve been having (psychodynamic, psychoanalysis, humanist therapy, etc) or am I trained/skilled at all in this field but I would recommend that you continue to see your counselors and perhaps, find a therapist you really connect with because if you’re both not on the same page then you won’t be getting anywhere at all.
And by the way you’ve described your life I doubt you want to spend another 22 years feeling this way. There is hope and healing. As everyone has started (including you) it can be a long process with CBT it helps you to understand your thoughts and actions as well as that of others. CBT is for many people with a gambit of issues such as Bipolar, OCD, panic disorder, clinical depression, bulimia nervosa, etc and have had dramatic results as well as gained wonderful skills to help them through the ups and downs of their lives as well as to better handle stressful or difficult situations.
I know it can be hard to understand what people think/feel about you as you yourself feel pretty miserable inside but one thing you have to try and understand is what is hard for you can be hard for others as well but we are listening and willing to help. Sometimes people get frustrated but that doesn’t mean they do not want to help. Everyone has there bad days. We’re all human. ☺ Just remember there are people who care and are here for you. You’re never alone.
Don’t give up hope. Life is far too short to be spent depressed or dwelling on the past but wanting to change for the better and having a therapist to guide you through this process can be a powerful thing as you are not doing this alone but with the help of someone who is trained to aid you in your mental health. With Therapy it's a joint process. You each work together to better understand your problems and to set up a plan in order to help you heal, face/deal with your problems, and change.
Again, I am not a –trained- professional in this field nor do I want you to feel like I'm trying to "shrink you" because I am not as I do not know all of the dynamics of what’s been going on between here at CAA, in your life, etc. I’m just expressing my general opinion to you. Hopefully, I haven’t overstepped my boundries! ^_^
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yukoxholic - Posts: 944
- Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:47 pm
Aedin,
Though I haven’t contributed to these threads until now, I’ve been reading them, feeling your pain, praying for you and hoping for the best for you since the beginning. I won’t pretend that I know exactly what you are going through, because I don’t. I’ve never been in exactly the same situation as you, but I have had enough similar struggles of my own (including dealing with overwhelming loneliness and suicidal feelings) that I feel empathy and love for you. I have to admit that reading this thread made me cry.
I hope you don’t misinterpret this post as something judgmental, critical, or condescending in any way. I am sorry if it comes off to you that way, but I assure you that I am writing with empathy, love, a prayerful heart, and God’s help. Even with my human weaknesses and my awkward way with words, I pray that you can find something to draw comfort from in what I say.
A lot of people on here have been telling you that you need to turn to Jesus for help and healing. I definitely agree with that, but in addition, I want to add that there is something else I think that you need to keep in mind. Something that I have learned through my life with much pain, struggling, study, and soul-searching. One important truth that even if you get nothing else from what I say, I hope you remember: God Loves You! He feels your pain and your suffering and confusion, and He wants to help you. You are precious in His sight. Your soul is worth more than you could ever realize. You have amazing potential, and He knows that you can reach it with His help. He loves you, Aedin. He really does love you, with a love that is so infinite, deep, and wonderful that we as humans cannot even comprehend it.
You mentioned that you are very lonely and feel like you have no friends in this world. I want to remind you that the best and most important friend you could ever have is just waiting for you to call on Him. Turn to Jesus! Make Him your best friend! I know it may seem strange at first, because you can’t see Him or touch Him as you could another friend, but He is there for you. He is! Talk to Him, tell Him what you are feeling, and ask for His help to overcome it. No one can do it alone. If you make an effort to be near Him, He will be there! He is waiting with arms open for you to come to Him! He will become your best friend in your time of need. It will take time, but it will be worth it. He has become my greatest and my best friend. The best that anyone could ever have. He understands everything you have ever gone through, more fully and completely than anyone on these forums ever could--more than you yourself do. He is always there for you, waiting with arms outstretched. You are never, never, never alone!
I want to share some words from a familiar hymn that have brought me comfort, strength and hope in times of trial and suffering.
Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
(Be Still, My Soul; Katharina von Schlegel)
Know that I am still praying for you and concerned for you. I hope that you can find relief and healing.
Your sister in Christ,
Cadence
Though I haven’t contributed to these threads until now, I’ve been reading them, feeling your pain, praying for you and hoping for the best for you since the beginning. I won’t pretend that I know exactly what you are going through, because I don’t. I’ve never been in exactly the same situation as you, but I have had enough similar struggles of my own (including dealing with overwhelming loneliness and suicidal feelings) that I feel empathy and love for you. I have to admit that reading this thread made me cry.
I hope you don’t misinterpret this post as something judgmental, critical, or condescending in any way. I am sorry if it comes off to you that way, but I assure you that I am writing with empathy, love, a prayerful heart, and God’s help. Even with my human weaknesses and my awkward way with words, I pray that you can find something to draw comfort from in what I say.
A lot of people on here have been telling you that you need to turn to Jesus for help and healing. I definitely agree with that, but in addition, I want to add that there is something else I think that you need to keep in mind. Something that I have learned through my life with much pain, struggling, study, and soul-searching. One important truth that even if you get nothing else from what I say, I hope you remember: God Loves You! He feels your pain and your suffering and confusion, and He wants to help you. You are precious in His sight. Your soul is worth more than you could ever realize. You have amazing potential, and He knows that you can reach it with His help. He loves you, Aedin. He really does love you, with a love that is so infinite, deep, and wonderful that we as humans cannot even comprehend it.
You mentioned that you are very lonely and feel like you have no friends in this world. I want to remind you that the best and most important friend you could ever have is just waiting for you to call on Him. Turn to Jesus! Make Him your best friend! I know it may seem strange at first, because you can’t see Him or touch Him as you could another friend, but He is there for you. He is! Talk to Him, tell Him what you are feeling, and ask for His help to overcome it. No one can do it alone. If you make an effort to be near Him, He will be there! He is waiting with arms open for you to come to Him! He will become your best friend in your time of need. It will take time, but it will be worth it. He has become my greatest and my best friend. The best that anyone could ever have. He understands everything you have ever gone through, more fully and completely than anyone on these forums ever could--more than you yourself do. He is always there for you, waiting with arms outstretched. You are never, never, never alone!
I want to share some words from a familiar hymn that have brought me comfort, strength and hope in times of trial and suffering.
Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
(Be Still, My Soul; Katharina von Schlegel)
Know that I am still praying for you and concerned for you. I hope that you can find relief and healing.
Your sister in Christ,
Cadence
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
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Cadence - Posts: 267
- Joined: Fri May 21, 2010 3:24 pm
If you were to cut your finger off, you wouldn't talk to people online about it would you? No, you would go to a doctor and get it fixed. If you are thinking about suicide all the time and are seriously depressed, don't talk to people online about it, go see a psychiatrist and get it fixed.
Go see a psychiatrist, man. We have tried to help you for years and can't, it is time for the professionals to take over.
Go see a psychiatrist.
Go see a psychiatrist, man. We have tried to help you for years and can't, it is time for the professionals to take over.
Go see a psychiatrist.
Where an Eidolon, named night, on a black throne reigns upright.
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ich1990 - Posts: 1546
- Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:01 pm
- Location: The Land of Sona-Nyl
I'm not going to comment on your accusations of the rest of the board, I just won't touch that.
What I WILL comment on, Aedin is how much GOD LOVES you and how much that REALLY matters.
This past summer I went through a lot of heartache, I was miserable and I felt so alone. I had One friend I could really talk to and the rest seemed to ignore me. I couldn't figure out why or what would cause such a drastic change but I learned something very, very important.
We can't have confidence in the flesh. We can't put all our lives on our relationships with fellow humans, as much as we want to that's just not possible....
The ONLY one we can truly count on and turn to, is Jesus.
When you feel down, and when you feel out just remember WHOSE you are! (I'm assuming that you are a Christian here) Remember what the price was to save you and that you ARE WORTH IT.
I only read a few of your threads, and felt like they were so bogged down already that what I had to say wouldn't really matter, but I'm here now, I'm posting here to tell you that you ARE LOVED.
You are loved by the greatest being out there...have faith in that Love. Hold on to Jesus, accept his hand and he will carry you through your pain and heartache...
And know that I'm praying for you...and I encourage you to read Colossians 2.
What I WILL comment on, Aedin is how much GOD LOVES you and how much that REALLY matters.
This past summer I went through a lot of heartache, I was miserable and I felt so alone. I had One friend I could really talk to and the rest seemed to ignore me. I couldn't figure out why or what would cause such a drastic change but I learned something very, very important.
We can't have confidence in the flesh. We can't put all our lives on our relationships with fellow humans, as much as we want to that's just not possible....
The ONLY one we can truly count on and turn to, is Jesus.
When you feel down, and when you feel out just remember WHOSE you are! (I'm assuming that you are a Christian here) Remember what the price was to save you and that you ARE WORTH IT.
I only read a few of your threads, and felt like they were so bogged down already that what I had to say wouldn't really matter, but I'm here now, I'm posting here to tell you that you ARE LOVED.
You are loved by the greatest being out there...have faith in that Love. Hold on to Jesus, accept his hand and he will carry you through your pain and heartache...
And know that I'm praying for you...and I encourage you to read Colossians 2.
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ChristianKitsune - Posts: 5420
- Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: In my sketchbook of wonderment and puffy pink clouds! *\^o^/*
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