Dealing with cutting and a guy

[teen4truth]

Basically, I was cutting myself for like a year and getting away with it quite efficiently until last month, when I decided to stop and come out to my parents about it.

And now I am dealing with issues with this guy who I met last semester in college and who started pursuing a relationship with me. I didn't like him that much at first but I enjoy being around him more than anyone else and he is so great to me. however, although he loves God, there are a few issues that make it to where neither me nor my parents feel quite right about me dating him. Which sucks, cuz he is really stupid and fell in love with me and I am really stupid and have at least started to fall in love with him.

So I've been saying for a while that we need to back off...I don't want to be in love with someone when I can't be in a relationship with them right now and possibly will never be. Thats unwise and painful. But lately he's starting to be jerkish to me...I'm afraid that he is fed up with it all and is just going to ditch me altogether. Which would be horrific, because we've been close friends practically since the day we met.

And I can't cut to relieve the heartache, because my parents ask me every now and then how I'm doing with it now that I told them I struggle with it, and I'm a horrible liar, especially to my parents. But I want to do it so badly right now!

Please pray that God will help both me and my friend to seek His guidance, to actually find it when we seek it, and to act on it when we find it. And please pray that our relationship will end up wherever God wants it to be.

[Radical Dreamer]

First of all, welcome back to CAA! It's been a while!

Secondly, I will definitely be praying for you about this! This sounds like a difficult situation, but I think you're wise to be guarding your heart in this matter. I think that surrendering your relationship with this guy to the Lord and asking him to do His will in it is always a great way of approaching things. Hopefully, in your case, you can communicate to your friend that you still want to remain friends and that you just aren't ready to take on that relationship at the moment.

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with cutting, but I'm glad you have your parents helping you and holding you accountable with that! Hurting yourself is never the answer when dealing with something like this, and you made the right decision in coming here to ask for prayer. Anyways, I will definitely be praying that God would give you both peace and guidance about this situation, and that He will remove the urge you have to cut yourself over it!

[K. Ayato]

Praying for you, hon.

[SailorDove]

Dear Father,

We agree in prayer for our sister, Teen4truth. Please love & comfort her as well as her friend. Bless them both with your wisdom, peace and heal the hurts in their hearts.

Help them to seek & accept your guidance as well as act on it when they understand it. We also pray that their relationship will be what you wish it to be.

In Jesus's name we pray,
Amen


P.S. Teen4truth, its great to see you again! Please feel free to pm &/or e-mail me if you ever wanna chat or need an ear to lean on.

Best Wishes,
Dove

[teen4truth]

Thank you all!

@Radicaldreamer-thank you for the encouragement!
Yeah, we've already talked about it a lot, but he doesn't seem to get the whole gaurding your heart thing. He doesn't see why we should stop falling in love even though he knows that we might never get together, and even if we do it won't be anytime soon.

[Azier the Swordsman]

Praying.

[Okami]

Hey, I remember you from my old days here at CAA. ^^

Accountability with the self-harm is definately a good thing, it's difficult, and the urges will probably be pretty strong for a while, but the longer you go without, the more likely it'll be that you'll not want to go back. I have dealt with salf-harm in my past, going back into four years ago now, and I've had the occassional slip up, but it's nothing near as bad as it used to be. I become triggered every couple of months now, where it used to be every couple of minutes/hours/days. It's a difficult fight, but every day away is another step towards becoming stronger. It'll get easier to handle in time, especially with having accountability for it!

As for the relationship thing, the first thing to come to mind is "Wait on God's timing!" Which it seems like you're starting to do with guarding your heart, or at least trying to. Trying is a good thing, and hopefully he'll come around to see your point of view. If he really cares about this relationship, I think he will.

I hope and pray all the best! If you need me for anything, feel free to shoot me a pm. I know what it's like to be recovering of self-harm, so maybe I can give some advice or something. Whatever, I'm here to chat if ya need me. ^__^

[teen4truth]

Thanks, guys!

@Okami- Thanks for the encouragement concerning self harm...I'll try my best to stick it out =)
And dude...thats totally the thing that God's been telling me! In my devo the other day I felt like he was telling me that He knows whats best for me, wants whats best for me, and has a plan to make it happen...I just need to wait and not try to make my own plans, which could interfere with his.
Idk, I hope that is really from God and not just wishful thinking!

[Tsukuyomi]

I'll be praying ^^

Hang in there ^^ Relationships are never easy ^^ Stopping back may be best and just take things one step at a time. Feel free to PM me (if you want to) ^^ Then, we can talk more

Hmmm, thinking of how you said he was being jerkish to you got me thinking.. Maybe, that's his own way of guarding his heart? I know/heard of some guys doing that when they feel themselves (or another) getting too close :-?

[shooraijin]

T4T, I'm sorry to hear about the cutting, and that he's really giving you no graceful exit. However, I *am* glad that you've stopped and are now dealing with both of these things, although I'm sure it's already clear to you that he's pretty much doomed your friendship. It just stinks it has to be that way.

The regrettable thing about cutting is, it does actually work to relieve the pressure, for a little while. But then the feeling afterwards of having failed to contain it is even worse.

[teen4truth]

Thank yall for the prayers and advice!

[Mr. SmartyPants]

If the guy is being jerkish and impatient to you because he's not getting what he wants, then I would say that being with his probably a bad decision. Seriously. You're worth more respect than that. You could definitely go with better. Anyone can say they love God. But because you say you love God doesn't mean you're automatically know how to love on people.

It would seem that he's under no circumstance to really be in a relationship with you, especially if he's being a jerk and disrespectful to you.

[Sapphire225]

You'll be in my prayers sweetie...

[Angel37]

I've struggled with cutting too, and that's a battle you'll be fighting all your life. Be strong and don't give in to temptation! Praying for you!

[Lynna]

I'll be praying!! and nice to meet you!!! ^_^

[steenajack]

I'll be praying as well. There is nothing much I can say that has already been said, except God is always going to be there for you. You can count on him no matter what. I'll be praying that God will guide you through your struggle, and that it will all work out between you and your friend.

[Mithrandir]

You're in our prayers!