Am I allowed to talk about the guy I like?

[Number1GaaraFan]

Please forgive me if I'm not allowed to talk about this, but I want a Christian's opinion.
Another thing is I have never felt this way about a uy before. I've liked diferent guys before, but I feel so happy and comfortable around Sam(that's his name) I am also not a girl that freaks out over every guy that says hi to her, so please don't think I'm a flirt or boycrazy or anything like that.

I met Sam at my youth camp. We were on the same athletic/ministry team. On the first day (remember this is a few hours after I met him) I felt like I had know him for years, we talked to each other so easily; I felt like we had been friends since we were little. One time when I was talking to him, he was telling me about how his cousins alwaya say he's so hot. haha He even told me that one of his cousins gave him a fire extinguisher, cuz he might light something up he was so hot. (And yes he was pretty good looking (;). It was wierd because if it had been any other guy I would have felt awkward, but with Sam I was comfortable. And when we were climbing up and down this rope thing and he was telling me how he has really good upper body strength.
3 weeks before camp I decided I wanted to play the bass, little did I know he plays bass! I also love to draw, so does he! We like the same kind of music, and a lot of the same things.
He talked to me a lot during camp, infact i think I was pretty muchly the only girl he talked to. There was this other girl who would always flirt with him, but he would just ignore her and make funny faces hehe.
Sam came and sat with me during one of the services, and inside I was freaking out "OH MY GOSH HE CAME AND SAT NEXT TO ME!" If he made a joke, he usually looked at me to see if I was laughing; and he also laughed at ALL MY STUPID JOKES:))))) When camp was over I missed him soooooo so so so much!!!
DO YOU GUYS THINK HE LIKES ME? I would like an answer from a christian point of view; as in not anything like "did he ever touch you more than neccasary?". I am going to stay pure until marriage, and I am very good at hiding my emotions andkeeping control of them when I need to.
Thank youuu )) and sorry if I'm not allowed to talk about this >.>

[Dr.Faust]

I do beleave that you can talk about this on here. This boy seem nice dose he live near you or anything like that so you hang out with him more.

[Number1GaaraFan]

He lives an hour away from my house. His dad is a pastor of a different church, but our youth groups were combined for camp. So they have their own church, but he comes once in a while, so now I only see him like once evry 3 weeks and I miss him soooo much!!!

[Number1GaaraFan]

he comes to my church once in a while, for our staurday night service

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I think it's pretty safe to say he likes you. Hiding your emotions is not a good idea. Be open and honest about your feelings but appropriate too. Just be careful and always tell someone you trust where you'll be.

[Number1GaaraFan]

Ok, Thanks! I have told my parents that I like him (I have a good relationship with my parents), but I'm not going to tell him yet that I like him cuz I'm only 14 (thats not exactly relationship or marriage age), maybe when we get older:)

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

That's great to hear, it's very wise of you.

[Nate]

One time when I was talking to him, he was telling me about how his cousins alwaya say he's so hot. haha He even told me that one of his cousins gave him a fire extinguisher, cuz he might light something up he was so hot.

The question is, are his cousins female? Nah, never mind. That's weird whether they're female or not.

I'm not going to tell him yet that I like him cuz I'm only 14

Eh, do what you want I suppose, but I feel you should be honest with the dude. Saying "I like you" doesn't automatically require you to date each other. It might help him out, y'know. Let him be a little more honest too, take some pressure off him, make him relieved. That's just my opinion though.

Why is this in Goof Off? o.O

[goldenspines]

Why is this in Goof Off? o.O

That is an excellent question. Let's fix that. Moved to General since this is asking for advice and not really prayer (yet ^_^)

Also, I agree with Nate. Even if you tell the guy you like him it doesn't mean you become engaged to him (if it does, I'm screwed and engaged to several guys >_>;; ).
But in all seriousness, you both still have time to grow up/mature and become better friends. Just be honest with him as a friend.

[Yamamaya]

The question is, are his cousins female? Nah, never mind. That's weird whether they're female or not.

Eh, do what you want I suppose, but I feel you should be honest with the dude. Saying "I like you" doesn't automatically require you to date each other. It might help him out, y'know. Let him be a little more honest too, take some pressure off him, make him relieved. That's just my opinion though.

Why is this in Goof Off? o.O

I agree with this.

Also keep in mind that since you're only 14 it's best to approach this with caution.

Most relationships at this age aren't that helpful.

No offense to him but he seems kind of arrogant(talking about how hot and strong he is).

But regardless it sounds like he probably does like you.

[Atria35]

No offense to him but he seems kind of arrogant(talking about how hot and strong he is).

And that's unusual for teenage guys at that age, especially when they want to impress a girl?

I agree with the rest- telling him will take a load off his mind, and means that you both can be honest with eachother- and you also don't have to start dating yet if you're not comfortable with that. It gives you both an opportunity to grow as friends as well as crushes.

[Nate]

I dunno about the arrogance part. I think we're missing a lot of context in all this.

For example, if she was standing near him and he turned to her and went "Man, you know, I'm such a hot dude, all my cousins say I'm so hot, blah blah blah," yeah he'd be kind of full of himself. But, maybe some other girl walked by him and said "You know, you're pretty hot," or something like that, and then he jokingly told the story about his cousins.

Same thing with the strength. If he was just standing around and was all "Hey there, Baby Styles, do you want to watch me bench-press a lot...of weights?" then yeah he's kind of arrogant. But she said they were doing the rope climb and if he was climbing up and down multiple times I don't think it would be too egotistical to just say "Yeah, I've always had really good upper-body strength" or something like that.

*shrug* Just my opinion though.

[Yamamaya]

I dunno about the arrogance part. I think we're missing a lot of context in all this.

For example, if she was standing near him and he turned to her and went "Man, you know, I'm such a hot dude, all my cousins say I'm so hot, blah blah blah," yeah he'd be kind of full of himself. But, maybe some other girl walked by him and said "You know, you're pretty hot," or something like that, and then he jokingly told the story about his cousins.

Same thing with the strength. If he was just standing around and was all "Hey there, Baby Styles, do you want to watch me bench-press a lot...of weights?" then yeah he's kind of arrogant. But she said they were doing the rope climb and if he was climbing up and down multiple times I don't think it would be too egotistical to just say "Yeah, I've always had really good upper-body strength" or something like that.

*shrug* Just my opinion though.

Fair enough.

Maybe it's just my pet peeve.
My advice is to tread lightly.

[TheSubtleDoctor]

"Hey there, Baby Styles

I think that if I was a girl and some guy called me Baby Styles, I'd be all, "Oh, marry me! NOW!!"

[Nate]

Hey there, Baby Styles. This is a nice dancing club, right? Do you have a phone at your house?

[Lynna]

I like the advice people have given you ^_^. Just remain friends with him untill you're older, and try to get to know him better. Also, I highly reccomend you be honest with him and tell him your fealings, because once I liked a guy but I never told him how I fealt and it fealt really bad...
You're really lucky that the guy you like is a christian and likes you back. ^_^

[Azier the Swordsman]

It sounds like he probably likes you. Since you don't see him often enough, it might be good to just let him know from the get go that you like him. You don't have to officially date yet, just be friends for a while and take it slowly.

[airichan623]

Ok, Thanks! I have told my parents that I like him (I have a good relationship with my parents), but I'm not going to tell him yet that I like him cuz I'm only 14 (thats not exactly relationship or marriage age), maybe when we get older:)

I really support you on this: If you do really like him enough to date him, then make sure your ready. By the world's standards, 14 is the perfect age to date. But keep in mind: even though I've liked guys very much all through middle school and high school, I didn't go on my first date until I was 16 (he was in a lower grade too, and he had been lots of dates).

And I wouldnt say he's arrogant, per se. But, the next time you are with him, think about this-- is he a natural flirt? Some guys have only one language around girls whether they like them or not: and thats flirt. I dated one of those guys. They act like your the only girl for them, but in reality, they move on in a heartbeat. While I want you to be free with your feelings, guard your heart. Trust me.

PS. I love ur avatar! ur a C.C. fan too? Cool! You really should introduce urself in the Who's Who area.

[SailorDove]

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders & a cute guy who likes you. I'd follow your parents advice on weather to tell him that you like him.

Since you're both young, ignore the cliche 14 yr. old manga romance route and trust your instincts & parent's advice. At the very least you have a good friend now and perhaps true love later on in life.

Good luck & may God Bless,
Dove

[Warrior4Christ]

Sams that play bass are hot - good choice.

Presumably he is also around 14. You both have (metric) tonnes of maturing to do through your teens and early 20s, so don't rush. Guard your heart and all that. But at the same time it would probably be helpful to him too if you make your feeling clear (and vice-versa).

[Nate]

Lynna why in the world did you quote my post? XD

[Lynna]

I have no idea at all. it was a mistake

[Mr. SmartyPants]

There's nothing really wrong with dating at a young age. Honestly, while both people haven't developed the emotional maturity to sustain a relationship from that young of an age (but it's certainly possible) it's an important learning experience as to both learning who you are and learning how to work with someone else.

Honestly, if this keeps going. And if it becomes a relationship. Why not? Have at it. Better slowly than quickly, of course. And if things go sour, then there will be a lot of hurt. But life's never about having things being so easy anyway.

[Nate]

I have no idea at all. it was a mistake

OR WAS IT?

Okay then. XD It's just that it was a bit bizarre since my post had nothing to do with what you were saying.

Honestly, if this keeps going. And if it becomes a relationship. Why not? Have at it.

I dunno if I'd go THAT far. I'm not opposed to them dating, if they want to that's fine, but it needs to be their decision, not "Well some dude on the internet said we should."

And yeah life is full of hurt and pain, and it's a good learning experience and whatnot, but that doesn't mean people should rush into things with no hesitation. I know that's not what you were saying, don't think I'm implying that. XD I'm just saying the whole "If it doesn't work out oh well that's how life is" isn't a particularly sound justification for doing something.

[Number1GaaraFan]

Thank you everyone for all your advice. haha He'snot an arogant person he was telling me that about his cousins saying he was hot, because he thought it was funny I don't date, I "court" (i know it sounds like something hillbilles say XP) courting is like dating only you have family and friends around you at all times to make sure you dont "do anything" So its a thing to get to know eachother really well but when you date your on your best behavior, where as courting the person is with you prettymuchly all day so they can see how you act to your family, cuz that is how you will treat them if you get married. But Im not going ot court until im 16...

Oh and another thing, He's 17. Man I forgot what I was going to say.... darn it....

[Nate]

Oh wow. Hmm. Him being 17 can potentially complicate matters.

First, there's the fact that at your stage of life, a three year difference is a pretty big one, as opposed to say, someone my age where a three year difference doesn't really matter. He could just be seeing you as say, like a little sister or something, because you're (at the moment) significantly younger than him. He might also like you as more than a friend. It's a lot harder to say with this age difference.

The second is that if he's anywhere close to turning 18, that would make dating problematic. Not to say that it would be impossible, but society as a whole would tend to frown upon an 18 year old dating a 14 year old. It isn't illegal, but...it's kind of sketchy-looking. You know how people are these days, shows like "To Catch a Predator" on TV and fathers being approached by police officers just because they're eating out with their daughter. It may be a situation where even if you wanted to get closer, you probably wouldn't be able to because of the age difference (and even if you were close to a birthday too, 18 and 15 would still look pretty bad).

This, unfortunately, may be a situation that isn't going to turn out well for you. Dating him may not be an option until you turn older yourself, and who knows where he will be at that point and how he'll feel.

I'm not trying to discourage you, though! I've seen relationships work out through harder situations than this. It's not impossible. At any rate, I am still in favor of you telling him how you feel. It would at least give you an idea of how he feels, and then you can weigh your options from there. It may not turn out the way you like it, but I think it's a better choice than remaining silent about it.

[ADXC]

Yeah Nate's right about the age thing. Right now an age gap like that while dating can be bad.

But if both of you want to friends until later on when you're maybe 18 or 20, then the gap doesn't matter too much.


I have a friend who is currently courting a girl. He doesn't believe in dating because dating can be a very shallow thing because you can see many different people, whereas when you court you can only see one person and it is under some major guidelines.

If you guys do decide to court(Which waiting until later would be best for that.), get your father to ask the boy some really major questions about his life, where he has gone, where he is now, who he is as a person, and where he wants to go with his life. You don't have to do this, but the guy I know who is courting, had to answer these questions.

[armeck]

yeah i agree, 17 and 14 is a bit of an age gap for now, now 18 and 21 is different, but at your age, well it's wise that you want to wait until you are older to "court" umm are you doing to refuse to be around him by yourselves at all? or are you just wanting to spend as little time with alone with him as you can? if this guy is anything like me, you might scare him off a bit saying you NEVER want to be alone with him... just my thoughts, and if what i have said has been said earlier i'm sorry there was a heck of a lot to read XD

[SailorDove]

Oh and another thing, He's 17. Man I forgot what I was going to say.... darn it....

I just assumed he was about the same age as you when I posted earlier. Age does make a difference right now for the both of you, (despite the shojo cliches). Pretty much agree with what Nate, ADXC and armeckthefirst said. If you didn't mention his age to your parents, I would strongly advise you'd let them know as well.

[Number1GaaraFan]

Yes my Parents know he's 17. He doesn't date either, so he's not "seeing" anyone right now. I've heard a lot that guys shouldn't get married until they are 20 or older. Several of my older friends have gotten married, the guy being 20 or older and the girl being 18-21....I think its actually better for the guyto be a few years older because I think it takes longer for guys to mature. My two friends that just got married are like that^ the girl is 18 and the guy is 22 I think... so Im actually not that worried about him being a few years older than me, infact I always wanted to marry someone 3 or 4 years older. (Not saying that I'm, going to marry him...Not YETanyways hehehe) anyways, I am a lot more mature for my age than pretty muchly all 14 year olds I have met, and I would say that I am at the same level of maturity that he is. <Not to be prideful or anything, mind you.