Memorable Dad quotes

[FllMtl Novelist]

There was a similar thread for Mother's day, and since Father's day is coming up, I thought we could share Dad quotes.

To begin:

"You are just like my mother."

"You are just exactly like my mother."

"I wish my mother was alive today, so she could meet you! You would have been so good to each other. You're so much alike."

"...You know, I can't see my mother doing that."

And, in regards to my education:

"If you get two 700's on the SAT, you can go to Harvard. Then you can marry a rich guy, divorce him, and be set for life!"

...So what's your Dad said to you?

[Atria35]

Nothing particularly memorable, but a lot of derision towards my choice of major.

[Makachop^^128]

"Shahayla, If I ever lose you. I will not let out the bloodhounds, but merely look for a trail of tea cups."

"You would make a excellent lawyer!"

[Okami]

"Do you know you are beautiful?"

[ChristianKitsune]

Aww X3 I'm kinda a daddy's girl... (although I'm also a mommy's girl too... ) so this thread looks awesome! (i didn't see the mother's day one D8)

When i suddenly exclaim something is missing and i ask where it is, my dad says, "If it were in your ear eating popcorn, you'd know where it is!"

My grandpa has a saying too, if he doesn't want us to do anything wrong, he'll say "You better not, or I'll tie your legs together and stick you in a bowl of yellow jello!"

I love my daddy and my grandpa!

(I just realized I sounded about the age of 8 in this post.. O_O;;;; )

[Doubleshadow]

"It's a mouse roundup! YEEHAW!" (mouse was loose in the bathroom, he was trying to trap it with a roll of toilet paper in each hand)
"I don't consider Quebec Canadian. Quebec is the red-headed step-child of France."
"Cool! Your grandma have would've been horrified. Ha ha ha!" (when I showed him I'd found out we had black in us)

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Nothing particularly memorable, but a lot of derision towards my choice of major.

And that is? XD

My dad keeps calling me fat for some reason... Can't say I'm exactly fat... XD

[Garland]

My grandpa has a couple:

"Life is tough and then you die"
and
"Better than a kick in the head."

[Nate]

This is going to sound weird, but I can't help it. The most memorable thing my dad said was, "When I get back, we'll cook out on the grill!"

It's memorable because those are the last words he ever spoke. Kinda morbid I guess...

[FllMtl Novelist]

Wow, nate.

One of the things my grandpa used to say to me when I was little was, "You are gonna go to YALE!" Like, I'd draw a picture, and he'd say it.

[Cloud500]

"Hurry up! We're going to be late!"

That's basically my dad.

[Atria35]

And that is? XD

Biology. And he derides me for it because I will never be rich doing it (he really likes money, and if you're not earning it, you're lower than low.)

And my dad has also called me fat, quite often, even when I wasn't/though I'm not fat. You're not alone!

[Angel37]

Lol, my father...

"When I was a little girl..." (to begin all his stories)
"But that costs MONEY!" (at all our incessant begging)
"Good-night!" (that was his exclamation like 'Oh my gosh!')

Dad loved quoting things too. His top favourite quotes were:
"Speak softly and carry a big stick"
Singing "I believe in Santa Clause and he believes in me!"
"Can you please tell me where to find the nuclear wessels?" quoting Chekov from Star Trek
"I'll get you next time, Gadget!"

[J.R.]

"How do you spell *insert word here*."

[ChristianKitsune]

My dad always calls me "Mouse." like when I was a baby I guess I was really quiet. (what happened?)
I'm 22 and he still calls me that sometimes! XD

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I can't think of any quotes but my dad just loves all the dumb 'dad' jokes and lame puns.

[AnimeGirl]

Yay! A Father's Day thread! My dad has said alot of things, one that comes to mind is...

Whenever I say "I'm hungry" his response is:
Puts out hand for a shake "Hello, my name's Daddy" XD!!!!! Or sometimes he'd say his name.

[Htom Sirveaux]

"Great googly-moogly!"

"If you're gonna play the wrong note, play it twice. That way, people will think you meant to do it, and they'll think you must be really good."

[Wikiwalker]

"Dagnabbit!" seriously, as a swear, not even sarcastically. It's hilarious because aside from him only people in Disney movies swear by saying Dagnabit.

"Is that for me?" sarcastically every time I make some food for myself. It's gotten really old actually.

He often sneezes very loudly several times in a row. I think his record is like twenty-something; lately I'm beginning to wonder if he has an allergy he doesn't know about.

[FllMtl Novelist]

(How could I forget this one?)
"You women are so complicated. We guys are easy."

"This is the greatest song of all time." (For at least 3 different songs.)

(After I'd watched some superhero stuff)
"Don't date a guy who wears tights. Ever. Just don't. Well actually, maybe, if he's really rich..."

"What's the matter with marrying for money? It's better than marrying for poverty, isn't it?"

(Christmas shopping at the mall a while ago) "See, I figured we bought too much, so to keep your mother from having a conniption about spoiling the children, I went and bought some expensive cigars! Now she won't even notice how much we got for the kids!"

Yeah, he can be a real funny guy.

[Nate]

"You women are so complicated. We guys are easy."

See that's a true statement.

"What's the matter with marrying for money? It's better than marrying for poverty, isn't it?"

You talked to your dad about marrying me and then divorcing me to get all that money like we were talking about in that one thread didn't you? SEE I KNEW YOU COULDN'T RESIST MY CHARMS...or well...my bank account.

[Wyntre Rose]

Dad quotes:

"He's a pretty fart smeller!" Still not quite sure if he got his tongue twisted while trying to say "pretty smart feller," or if he did it intentionally, though I'm leaning towards the latter.

"Right, Meg?" after saying something to someone else out of my hearing range. The expected response is "yeah," but it backfired on him one day when he said something really self-defacing once ("I'm stupid" or "I'm ugly," or something similar, can't remember exactly now), and then pulled the "right, Meg?" thing on me. So...I answered as expected, not realizing what he'd said. Hey, what can I say, he's trained me well...

Papa quotes:

"Slicker than snot on a doorknob."

"Better than a mouthful of bees."

"Good enough for government work."

"You better eat that before it gets funny."

"I eat my peas with honey. I've done it all my life. It makes the peas taste funny, but it keeps them on my knife."

[airichan623]

My daddy:
*after church*
Me: Well I'm gonna go change...
Dad: Dont change, [Airi], we love you just the way you are.
Me: ...

And random singing of dr demento songs...

[FllMtl Novelist]

You are following me around, aren't you, Nate?

See that's a true statement.

See my latest post in the 'Nate...' thread.

You talked to your dad about marrying me and then divorcing me to get all that money like we were talking about in that one thread didn't you? SEE I KNEW YOU COULDN'T RESIST MY CHARMS...or well...my bank account.

Oh yeah, I can see the conversation now...

Me: "Hey Daddy I met this guy on the internet and he's funny and has a Garfield avatar and he said if I wanted his money I should marry him! Can I? Please?"
Dad: "Heck no. Have you lost your mind?"

(^not a real conversation, by the way)

Now please, let's not turn this into a Fu-Nate argument/debate/discussion thread. If you're going to post again, please include a Dad quote.

One of my Dad's:

(after seeing any male manga/anime character that doesn't have tremendous muscles)
"Oh, he's gay."
It's the art style, Dad! It's how they draw everybody! It has no deep meaning!

And another of my Dad's, which he got from his Dad, making it an uber- Dad-quote:

"I'm just a boil on the [Rear End] of Progress."
(I really cannot count the number of times I've heard that one.)

[Wyntre Rose]

Just remembered another, though this is a Dad-quoting-me-quote. lol. When I was little, a friend of the family was coming to visit, and got stuck in a snowstorm on the way. She got to our house much later we were expecting, and so when she finally did show up, I ran up to her exclaiming, "I knew you could be here!" Now, just about ANY time I come over to visit...he quotes that back at me, in a thin, falsetto wail.

Also, he'll come up behind me, stick his fingers in my ear, and say "let those spirits come OUT!" pulling his fingers away at the "out" part. Pretty sure he's parodying a tele-evangelist. Though which one, I couldn't tell you.

Anytime he catches me coming down the stairs: "There she is, Miss A-Me-he-gie!" to the tune of "Miss America." Only my Dad would draw out Meggie so that it would fit the same amount of syllables as America...

[Winry]

My dad says some pretty funny things on a regular basis, but probably the most frequent one is every time he answers the phone when I or anyone in my family calls, he says, "Chris *insert last name here* Suuuuper Genius speaking."

[Snow]

My daddy is Mexican, so most of the memorable things he's said are in Spanish, which I never actually learned so I have no idea what he's saying. But he makes me laugh ^_^

[jadeTheshade]

one time when my sister and i were saying we had a lot of uses for our brain (we talk like we share one a lot, lol)

"as what, a doorstop?"

[TheSubtleDoctor]

"How do you spell *insert word here*."

This made me laugh a lot.

Once, my mom went through kind of an experimental cooking phase. Some Tuesday or other, she made a dish that contained broccoli (that's all I remember about it). Upon trying it, my Dad says this: "That was good, honey. But don't make it anymore."

[ich1990]

"It all comes out in the end."

Yeah. Lots of opportunities for him to use that one, not all of which are quite appropriate for the conversation at hand. Other than that, I blame him for my heightened pun awareness.