Prayers for my friend.

[Twila27]

I don't really know if it's good to talk all about him. But I really want people praying for him, for my friend Ryan. He's the one who took me to my first anime convention, he's the one I shared a lot of my personal frustrations with and him with me...He started out as an atheist, and although he said he believed in Christ for a while a few months ago (when we talked often), now I don't believe he does, judging from the things he's told me he's done. He's talked to me over MSN for the first time in a few days, tonight. It was about his experience at Dakota's funeral, the senior who died recently...

He said that it was a terrible time for him, and he was upset by how they stopped describing Dakota's life and said "Let's pray"...But that's what should happen, shouldn't it?

I have a hard time talking about things like this to him, so I came here to ask for prayer for my friend. I truly believe Dakota's in a better place, so I think if I had been to the funeral I would've shed happy tears, not sad ones...But Ryan...I wish so badly that God would forgive him and help him...

[Tsukuyomi]

I'll be praying ^__^

Be there for him if you're able and continue to be his friend Keep us updated if able ^^

[Twila27]

Most of the problem wasn't him so much as it was me. It might have to go to the mature thread if I said it clearly, but he thinks happiness and love come before God or sin. He doesn't love God first, and doesn't understand how I can love something I can't see...He's different from how he was before, and that plus the things he did scared me to where I didn't trust him. And that hurt him, when I said that...I know God wants me to be his friend, because God wants us to love everyone, I believe...So I said that I would work hard to try and trust him again, to get rid of the fear that's built up over the past two months. (I know I can't just do it overnight like he wanted me to...)

So, um, there's my update. Thanks for praying for Ryan, it means a lot to me because he's the first friend I made offline that I was able to actually talk to without being superficial. He still holds to his beliefs, and I don't think I should argue with him, because that's probably what he wants to happen (and I'm very bad at debating things, looking at how I usually run away bawling from my laptop).

He said during the conversation that if I wasn't his friend because he didn't believe in God anymore, that if he suddenly converted, would I be his friend again...It was kinda hurtful, the way he put it, but it helped me realize that God doesn't want me to be afraid to show love...I was kind of using the "throwing pigs to pearls" verse as an excuse, but that's just as bad as people taking verses out of context to support their own beliefs...

I rambled a bit, I apologize, please keep Ryan (and me?) in your prayers!

[Makachop^^128]

Will be praying ^^

[TheSubtleDoctor]

I will pray for thr both of you, Twila. As Tsuki said, if you are emotionally able to, continue to love your friend and be there for him. Take care of yourself, though. It sounds as if this whole thing is kind of emotionally taxing for you, so I'd recommend talking to a paent, freind, or pastor a bit about this as well. They can pray for you and offer a sound perspective.

[Twila27]

I will pray for thr both of you, Twila. As Tsuki said, if you are emotionally able to, continue to love your friend and be there for him. Take care of yourself, though. It sounds as if this whole thing is kind of emotionally taxing for you, so I'd recommend talking to a parent, friend, or pastor a bit about this as well. They can pray for you and offer a sound perspective.

I think that's part of why I don't want to talk to my mom about this, really. Because the last time I was 'emotionally taxed' by my friends, I erased all of them from MSN after my mom gave me her thoughts on the subject. I don't really want to do the same thing to Ryan, I'm afraid it'll end up being a repeat. It feels very similar to those past situations, a friend who doesn't believe in God anymore, who I'm afraid to talk to, but they still trust me. I keep praying to God, but I honestly don't know who else to turn to offline that I feel safe about telling, that won't go and tell my parents or tell Ryan about what I've been saying here.

[TheSubtleDoctor]

I think that's part of why I don't want to talk to my mom about this, really. Because the last time I was 'emotionally taxed' by my friends, I erased all of them from MSN after my mom gave me her thoughts on the subject. I don't really want to do the same thing to Ryan, I'm afraid it'll end up being a repeat. It feels very similar to those past situations, a friend who doesn't believe in God anymore, who I'm afraid to talk to, but they still trust me. I keep praying to God, but I honestly don't know who else to turn to offline that I feel safe about telling, that won't go and tell my parents or tell Ryan about what I've been saying here.

Perhaps a pastor or counselor that you can speak to in confidence? It is tough to speak more about this without knowledge of the specifics (plus we are encouraged not to get too "counsel-y"), so all I can do is pray for you two and stand by my recommendation. Sounds like Ryan is hurting and could use love/support but not if it's going to totally derail you.

[Twila27]

I can't really tell if he's hurting or not, but he doesn't seem that way to me. He didn't realize I felt the way I feel until a few days ago, so...Yeah, I've talked to my youth pastor about things like this before. I'm still a bit nervous about bringing it up around him, because I don't want to be treated differently or anything like that because of it...I don't know, really. I'll try to send either him or a Sunday school teacher I know an e-mail, if I can cool off and figure out what to say in it. ^^;

Thank you for your concerns, everyone, especially Subtle-sensei for his advice (because otherwise I'd just flounder around and get nowhere fast, I think).