So Ill move fast. Keep up.
1. Were are in the deepest money problems this family has ever faced. We could literally be on the streets soon.
Its getting to my parents, and THAT, not the money crap, gets to me. Its hard to think strait when the leaders of your family are sweating. We ALL work, and me AND my brother make more than BOTH our parents combined...and my dad has 2 jobs...or he did.
2. Good news is Im pretty much a carefree lil freak who is keeping his eyes on the promise and not the problems, as B. Reith says. My parents just think I havent been through alot. Which is bull. But yeah, I just keep trusting in God for all my problems...cept, it seems, in the love department. For some reason all the dept-and-no-pay is nothing to me, yet I cant help but worry myself to death about how lonely Iam...I feel hypocritical.
3. I lack direction. My compass fell in the water 3 years ago.
The things that have lead up to all these money problems have put my (and my whole familys) life on hold., including my 32 year old brother ...I feel so sorry for him. Now Im 22 working at a dead end job, driving a barrowed car, little money, no hope of college and dreams bigger than the world...just like my brother.
Im just stuck in my house (a box) and work (a even smaller box, actually), when I want to travel the world. I want to meet strange people to tell Jesus to. I want drive 500 miles alone. I want to find a girl almost as weird as me, and show her all the cool simple pleasures of a Loving God and His creation. . Like listening to Owl City under a zillion stars in a tent. I want to stand in the middle of a crowded concrete jungle, and hope I come out with my wallet. I want to ride a subway, and an old train. I want to do random things anywhere, just so I can say "cause I can". I want to dance like a white crac..ok, I think you get my point.
I want to do anything but be stuck faninacaly with people who should be retired for the rest of my life...And yet its the same for my 32 year old brother whose got a physical condition that tests him everyday..
I want to unleash the potential God made me with, and be free of the boring life of the rest of the world! I want to go from fisherman to world trotter, too!