It is hard to compose this.
I am in Afghanistan; it is New Years Eve. I just spent an hour in vain trying to find the midnight mass, I am depressed, lonely, and reaching for my father.
There are alot of you younger ones, especially those who don't have military experience, that won't really understand what's going on for me. That's ok; God hears your prayers anyway.
I will confess something; and if it doesn't fit into your notion of God, don't respond:
I was prophesied over before I left for the war. It was from a woman who did not like gifts, did not seek them, did not ask, and nearly didn't tell me that the Lord had put this in her heart. But she did, and the meat of it was this; that during this time of trial, God would place his mantle upon me, and that I would have to always remember it was his.
I have prayed for the "Mountaintop" experience since I was a child. It has been one of the longest running prayer requests of my life. If it happens, I fully expect many to be dismissive; but then, I'm not seeking this for other people, but for me. Now the time seems to be drawing near and the thought terrifies me; that God would place such a thing on me, should appear in such a strong way; it overwhelms me.
There are many things I could put here; life here is miserable save in comparison with other people further, deeper into the warzone.
Suffice it to say, I am seeking God's tangible presence in my life, worship, and church, and that I am ever seeking him despite my sinful nature.
Please, brothers and sisters. Create a shield of prayer over me; pray earnestly and strongly, like the strong man who beats the doors of heaven to get in. Insist for me, as I have for these others out here, and the Body of Christ.
God bless you all; He has given us this new year like a gift. Do not waste it.