Friend is Suicidally Depressed

[sstohru]

Not sure how to start this one, but here goes. I have a friend who has been suicidally depressed for most of her life, and is now on medication for depression and anxiety. Every time she starts to feel better, she stops taking her medication. Whenever this happens she lashes out on her friends (myself included) and starts having serious meltdowns. This has been going on for months.

Now she's bringing alcohol to her dorm and says she'll only drink it on occasion ( I don't believe her though). I have a VERY bad feeling about this, but whenever I try to tell her that it's probably not a good idea, she snaps at me so I just drop the subject.

I've been friends with her for a long time, and I felt God telling me to help her when we first met. But every time I tried helping her, she rejected anything I said and did her own thing, which always ended with her getting hurt. With this cycle repeating itself, I'm about ready to give up because now I don't know what to do. I guess any prayers would help, because right now we both need it. =(

[Mr. SmartyPants]

If there is any indication that she will be of harm to her or someone else, call the police. Such instances require involuntary commitment. And of course, always stay as her friend.

But yeah, if it is serious, call the police or a hospital.

[Makachop^^128]

Will be praying

[Tsukuyomi]

I'll be praying that all works out

Continue to be there for her ^^ If she does end up hurting herself, do what MSP says and get the authorities involved >_>

[Danderson]

ditto that.....will be praying for your friend.....

[sstohru]

Thanks for the prayers, guys. While her depression has yet to go away (this takes time I know), I'm still trying to let her know that I'll be there for her, even though inwardly I'm exhausted from trying to help her so much because I'm afraid of making her overdependent on me again. I've been praying for strength too, but so far I'm even more exhausted.

One thing did happen though, she's starting to listen to me when it comes to drinking, and I keep encouraging her to pray, so there's still hope! Again, thanks for all the prayers, and I'll be sure to update if things get better or worse.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

If it has been a life long clinical condition for her, it may be something that never actually goes away. My wife is a life-long case herself. She needs her medications to be able to continue to function. She absolutely can-NOT go off of them without serious complications emotionally speaking. Also, if Alcohol becomes an issue again let her know that since Alcohol is a depressant it can actually interfere with her drugs, either cancelling them out or causing other serious issues. If it's a chemical issue that causes her depression then she needs to be very cautious with what she puts in her body.

Other than that, continue to be her friend. Establish some sort of relationship verbally about how far you're allowed go to help her. It needs to be discussed and out in the open. Some things you may need to break trust on if it becomes literally life or death (such as calling an authority to step in if things devolve to a suicide attempt), but otherwise you need to figure out where that line for personal space is with her so that you don't cross it and jeopardize your chances to help her in the future due to broken trust.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Do you know if she's had mental health therapy? Like seen a counselor?

[Etoh*the*Greato]

MSP's right. If she can find the right therapist it can make a world's difference in terms of helping her. Of course, she needs to be willing (those who are stubborn or don't want it rarely see any change from therapy) and she needs to find the right therapist. Not every style is going to help every person. And if she finds the wrong one it can actually burn her on the process a lot. What has worked for me in the past was finding a doctor that didn't lecture me or talk at me, but who barely even spoke. She helped me by just occasionally interjecting a question and helping guide me as I actually worked out my problems for myself.

[K. Ayato]

I visited with a counselor (okay, so she was an intern, but still) for a while and she was very supportive. Most of the sessions were me just ranting and getting stuff off of my chest, and then she'd sum it all up, give me some tips (and the tissue box ), and end the session with prayer.

If your friend is not against that route, I'd suggest a Christian counselor. Most of them are willing to adjust the rates for lower-income clients. Still praying .

[Mr. SmartyPants]

MSP's right. If she can find the right therapist it can make a world's difference in terms of helping her. Of course, she needs to be willing (those who are stubborn or don't want it rarely see any change from therapy) and she needs to find the right therapist. Not every style is going to help every person. And if she finds the wrong one it can actually burn her on the process a lot. What has worked for me in the past was finding a doctor that didn't lecture me or talk at me, but who barely even spoke. She helped me by just occasionally interjecting a question and helping guide me as I actually worked out my problems for myself.

Nowadays the literature points that Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy tends to be the most effective form of therapy. Tie that with numerous antidepressants flying around, I suspect that the combination of the two can be very beneficial.

Unfortunately there is a social stigma towards seeing a therapist, whether it be "I don't need one. I'm strong enough" or that it makes one seem weak. But regardless, if your friend hasn't been seeing one, try suggesting it to her.

[sstohru]

She's been seeing counselors pretty much all her life from what she's told me. By now, her last counselor said it was either the pills or the mental hospital. She took the pills, but as stated earlier she refuses to take them until she lashes out at me, has a temper tantrum and an emotional meltdown. Then she'll take them till she's better then stop again. and the cycle repeats.

I actually told her about alcohol being a depressant and such, but I still worry because I'm not always around due to class schedules so I never know when she'll start a downward spiral again. I'll keep praying for this. Thanks for the support and prayers everyone. Can't give up yet.