So Much Hate and Anger Inside Me

[Riggidig]

Please pray for me. While I might come across as a nice guy, in reality I have a LOT of pent up anger inside me. It doesn't take a lot to trigger it either. I constantly feel like I'm walking on egg shells as to not flip my lid. I'm not sure where it all comes from, but I'm guessing it's mostly from my dad being very dominating over me when I was young. Being bullied in high school is another I believe. Whenever I feel like I'm being forced to do something against my will or hurt (either physically or emotionally) something in me just snaps. I find myself saying the most disgusting words and/or hitting and breaking things. It actually makes me feel like I'm being like my dad, and I HATE myself when I'm like this. Just last night I got angry with my mom and went to bed without talking to her for the remainder of the evening. This morning I am STILL angry at her. I feel like CRAP today, angry at a lot of people for no good reasons. I guess I'm just angry with myself...

Please pray for God to change my heart permanently, like Strafe mentioned in his latest post.

God bless

[Tsukuyomi]

I'll pray for you ^^

I think you, your mom, and dad should find a way to all talk. This problem will never go away until things are cleared up ^^

[sdzero]

It is okay to be angry...the hate on the other had is the real issue. I have learned it is okay to be angry and vents some frustration out on a punch bag or run it off outside. It is an emotional reaction like crying or laughing which is something we just have to let go outwardly. God even gets angry and it ain't pretty. Anger often associates itself with hate often, but they are not one in the same. They are separate. Find a good way to vent your anger safely. Anger is a big reason on why I started martial arts, it was a great way to vent anything that was bothering me.

The main issue is dealing with hate. Hate can boil you down to nothing in no time, if you hang on to it. As soon as you let it go, things get better. You do not need hate. Hate is not helping you. Hate just makes you miserable. Hate is a waste of time, energy and it is not worth it. If you feel like you hate someone in particular, that has done something wrong, just remember each individual as a opprotunity to change their ways. Pray for their betterment.

So I will not only pray for you and your inner struggle, I will also pray for the betterment of those around you. Things will get better.

Oh...and when you get a Ps3, you can vent your anger against me on a online match. I am a tough online fighter though...I could just make you angrier.

[Ryupower]

oh wow, yes praying.

[Phantom_Sorano]

Hmm....this truly pains me to know you are struggling with this, Mr. Rigard.

As Mr. Sdzero so very well stated above, anger is a common emotion of life. Even God gets angry, so don't feel too bad. Finding an activity to vent your anger is also a good idea.

I believe that your pent up frustration deals with painful emotional memories from your childhood. Because you suffered and were tormented so, you hide that emotion and use anger. In a way, you are angry with not only your father and the taunters, but also yourself in some degree. The best thing to do is to slowly work on dealing with these background issues. It is difficult and the road is long, but you will find it very rewarding. Ask God for help. When you feel those feelings of rage build up, start talking to God about it...in your head or out loud. God is personable, so you can vent to Him and He will be more than happy to listen. When you harbor those negative feelings, they not only hurt you, but the people closest to you, and your relationship with the Heavenly Daddy that loves you and would never oppress you in any way. I'm praying for you, Mr. Rigard. Feel free to PM me anytime.

[Riggidig]

Thanks to everyone who responded and for your prayers. I really appreciate it.

[Garjzla]

hey man, sorry to hear about that, i kinda feel like i am in your boat a bit too, but i have learned a bit to cope with stuff like that, but it still sucks.

I will be praying for you.

[RandomBurrito]

I will be praying.

I understand what you mean though. Lately I had been feeling frustrated with alot of things. I think it's me kinda letting out some steam because I keep things in alot. But hang in there! The Lord is going to be with you! ^_^

[Riggidig]

UPDATE: Lately I've been trying to talk about stuff that bothers me instead of keeping it all inside. I must say that I've been less prone to outbursts of anger. I call this process "getting rid of the poison in my heart". Please pray for me to get rid of all this bile that contaminates my soul. Thanks :-)

[Sailor Kenshin]

Please pray for me. While I might come across as a nice guy, in reality I have a LOT of pent up anger inside me. It doesn't take a lot to trigger it either. I constantly feel like I'm walking on egg shells as to not flip my lid. I'm not sure where it all comes from, but I'm guessing it's mostly from my dad being very dominating over me when I was young. Being bullied in high school is another I believe. Whenever I feel like I'm being forced to do something against my will or hurt (either physically or emotionally) something in me just snaps. I find myself saying the most disgusting words and/or hitting and breaking things. It actually makes me feel like I'm being like my dad, and I HATE myself when I'm like this. Just last night I got angry with my mom and went to bed without talking to her for the remainder of the evening. This morning I am STILL angry at her. I feel like CRAP today, angry at a lot of people for no good reasons. I guess I'm just angry with myself...

Please pray for God to change my heart permanently, like Strafe mentioned in his latest post.

God bless

BTDT, still wearing the T-shirt. Seriously, I could've written that.

Praying for you.

[Riggidig]

BTDT, still wearing the T-shirt. Seriously, I could've written that.

Praying for you.

BTDT? And Thanks :-)

[Whitefang]

BTDT? And Thanks :-)

Been there, done that!

[Riggidig]

Been there, done that!

Ah ok, thanks :-)

[RandomBurrito]

UPDATE: Lately I've been trying to talk about stuff that bothers me instead of keeping it all inside. I must say that I've been less prone to outbursts of anger. I call this process "getting rid of the poison in my heart". Please pray for me to get rid of all this bile that contaminates my soul. Thanks :-)

That usually helps. I remember Tsuki told me to write whatever was bothering me on a piece of paper. So that helps too, hehe. God bless you!!!

[CephasWhite]

Been there, done that!

Same.

I know your pain brother. I'm still teaching myself that not the entire world is trying to kill me...more like pushing my buttons ...to the point where I wanna say a few words not suitable for this site.

But the prayer stays on, for me and for you, and for those who are the same way too.

God bless

[Sailor Kenshin]

BTDT? And Thanks :-)

Been There Done That. Hang in there.

[Yamamaya]

I share some of your problems man. I too have a raging temper which impedes me.

I'll pray for you.

[Barracuda777]

hey Rig Good job bro keep it up. its important to set attainable goals. not only do they help you in the long run, the small victories are a massive confidence booster. Keep fighting the good fight of faith and i know God will reward your faithfulness.

[Riggidig]

Unfortunately I have backslid completely the last couple of weeks. I've just found it increasingly difficult to express my anger other than physical outburst against poor, defenseless office equipment (pencils, pens, rulers, etc). I don't know why. I pray to God every morning to bless the day, but I still keep losing my cool in very uncool ways. I feel really useless for doing so, like God isn't paying attention when I ask it of Him :-(

[freerock1]

Lifting you up, my brother. And don't feel that God doesn't pay attention to you; the Bible tells us that if we ask anything according to His will and in Jesus' name, God hears us. Sometimes it's a growing process. We won't always instantly have it all together. But in those times we fail, we just need to remember that God's grace is greater than our failures and that He has forgiven all our sins. And we need to forget the past and look to Jesus, because He is always faithful, even though we're not always faithful.

Be encouraged, friend.

[RandomBurrito]

I'll be praying for you.

I know it's hard, I've been trying to let go of my own frustration and anger that I have towards myself. But THE LORD IS the Only Person Who can take that away. He's an on time God so He Will be there at the right moment. Keep holding on to your faith, keep believing that THE LORD Will Make a way for you every day.

God Bless you Riggidig!!!

[Sammy Boy]

Hey Riggdig, I really feel for you because I feel like we've walked similar paths in some ways.

I came from a family where I used to have a lot of issues with my parents, and my parents with each other. I also got bullied at school, because I was not with the popular crowd, and not physically strong.

When I was a teenager I hated all these things and wondered why my life seemed so miserable.

I can see one good thing from your experience and it's that you have a desire to change. That's the first step.

Some things I have done over the years have helped, and I present these to you as suggestions you could consider:

- Think about the situations and reasons that make you angry. Ask God to show you, and change you to learn to respond differently (Believe that God can change you).

- Find some hobbies that you can use to "cool off". I used to go for walks around the neighbourhood. Sometimes I'd buy myself fruit juice to cheer myself up. Distractions such as reading a comic or novel can be helpful when used this way (especially if I know that as long as I continue to focus on my feelings I won't do any good to myself or other people).

- Eventually you will need to talk about your feelings to your folks. It will probably be an uncomfortable thing to do - but it will be good for the long run.

And most of all, don't forget that God is with you, even when you feel like He isn't. Keep praying and talking to Him, as we will be praying for you as well.

[animeguild53]

..we'll be praying..


..you cannot change yourself in a short span of time.. it happened to me too.. being angry and stuff.. but don't condemn yourself for feeling that way.. and the next time circumstances seems to be pushing you to be mad about something... take a deep breath.. look up...