Alone

[Cloud500]

Well, without getting too detailed, recently there's been some tension between a couple of my friends and rather than deal with the problem, some of them have just decided to completely shut the other person out of their lives. I'm kind of in the middle of all of this and am seeing how mean everyone is to each other and how no one is really who I thought they were. Now both sides are telling me the " deep, dark secrets" about the other and making realize that I've been lied to about many things for a very long time... I think they're all acting ridiculous and they're expecting me to choose a side and completely forget about the other. Most likely, unless everyone has a complete peronality change, this won't end well. They seem to be getting on with their lives, but I feel really awful. I have no one to go to anymore and making friends in college isn't going very well. I just feel really alone and am really depressed because this isn't the first time this has happened in my life, so any prayers would be appreciated.

[Tsukuyomi]

I'll be praying ^__^

I'm afraid to say that those situations are never easy to deal with 8( I've been in this situation a few times before as well, so I can relate ^^

The best thing to do is to stand strong and remain friends with the both of them ^^ It's between them, so they will have to be the ones who sort it out ^^ You can help where you can, but it's really up to them ^^

Feel free to PM me if you want more help or if you just want to talk ^^

[Radical Dreamer]

I know exactly how that feels, because it's happening between a few of my friends now. I would simply suggest that, when one of your friends wants to talk badly to you about the other, just calmly tell them not to talk to you about it. If they really want the problem fixed, they should speak with whom they actually have a problem. Definitely praying though; that's always rough to deal with!

[Cloud500]

Thanks everyone. It's just that no one is willing to talk to each other. One said she would talk but in doing so she would tell the other people off once and for all. I get ridiculed for symphathizing with the one's who are being talked about. I feel bad that I'm being invited to things and others are being excluded. No one is who I thought they were.

[Riggidig]

Maybe you need new friends? Sometimes we outgrow certain people. I've been there recently. 3 months ago my social life was FANTASTIC. Then 2 friends moved away, 1 got engaged and now I don't see her anymore, and the other 2 have died a quiet death and I don't hear much from them anymore. Will be praying for you bro.

[Roz]

When they start using you as their "weapon" against each other or lying to you or are always back biting each other to you it's not ok. You don't need to shoulder all of their junk just because they don't want to talk to the person that they have a problem with. It's ok to tell them that. You're not their slave.

One thing that has really helped me when I have to talk to someone about something I REALLY don't want to talk about is writing a (polite and as kind as possible even if you are mad at them) note and giving it to them. That way you aren't having to think of it and say it at the same time, you can take as long as you want, they don't have the responsibility of having to respond to you right then and there and very importantly it takes out all of the non-verbals (like how mad/upset/etc. you are that would show on your face) that the other person can see in a conversation. You or the other people that don't want to talk to each other could try that. Although it's important that we're looking at the problem and it doesn't turn into a this-is-your-fault fight.

This kind of situation is really no fun. Time will probably help a lot but I'm praying for you too.

Hang in there!

Roz