Sadness...

[Anystazya]

I don't really know what to say. I'm so confused as to what I'm feeling right now, and that's what I need prayer for.

Lately, I've been feeling really down. Especially if I'm at home, doing my own thing, or if I have a disagreement with my parents or something...If I'm around friends at school, I'm completely fine. I'll be hanging around chatting and laughing with them...but this depression is always waiting to jump...it's been pulling me away from God...I could almost feel the demons closing in on me when I was sitting on the couch earlier...It was frightening.

I try to remember the chorus to one of my favourite songs we sing in church, called Still...One line goes, 'I will be still, and know you are God.' I've been trying so hard to remember that. And it's not like I'm not talking to Him...but I think I'm so focused on asking God for my every want, that I lose focus on Him...so I just need prayers.

I feel the need to express myself, somehow...I want to write something...write a song, write some sort of short story, create a piece on the piano, draw a meaningful picture...

But it doesn't always work. I'm not asking for a sign-not like I did once. I already have figured out what I need to figure out in that direction. I just want to regain my happiness in my relationship with God.

I could say more, I suppose, but I'll keep this short. If you want to hear about it in more detail, then please PM me...

[Smile:)]

I'll be praying for you Any.

[goldenspines]

I'll keep you in my prayers, Any.
If you do feel the need to express yourself, you can try some freewriting. Which is basically writing whatever comes to your mind, without worrying whether or not it makes sense. ^_^

[Etoh*the*Greato]

My wife writes poetry to help deal with her depression. Similar to what Goldy said. I'll say a prayer for you, Any.

[Chrysolite]

Sounds like you have the right idea or how to handle this, so just stick with it! I'll pray for you!

[Roz]

I'll pray for you.

I'm sorry for the hard times. I was going through something like that recently and after analyzing it I realized it was because every anime I was watching at the time was sad. I wasn't bringing any joy into my life.

I agree with goldenspines. Sort of venting on paper.

Also, you are pretty young so the "teenage raging hormones" thing may be making you feel more of an extreme happy or extreme sad/angry/depressed instead of the slightly leveler feelings of someone older. As in some of this may be more chemical than anything. This too shall pass.

You got this girl. Hang in there! If you ever want to talk I will be happy to listen.

God Bless,
Roz

[Tsukuyomi]

*Hugs* I'll be praying for you as well

Along with writing, you should try drawing ^^ Draw how you feel and see what comes out of it

Just, try not to think about the demons, because the more you think about them, the more they're going to be there ^^

[Makachop^^128]

will be praying : (
hope you will be happier soon
always remember that there are times in life were we just get sad and theres not to much you can do but get closer to God

[rocklobster]

Remember that God is always there, even when it doesn't seem like it. Believe in the sun, even when it's not shining.
I'd love to see your venting though.

[Anystazya]

@Smiley-face: Thank you so much, Smile

@Goldy: Thanks, goldy <3 I will definitely try that...It's a good idea, and could definitely be helpful...

@Etoh: Poetry could be a good idea for me...thank you, Etoh, for both the suggestion and your prayer =)

@Chrysolite: Thank you very much for the encouragement and the prayer

@Roz: Your prayers mean a lot to me ^__^ As for "teenage raging hormones" it is a possibility, yeah...but Satan is using this, I know, to break me down...Thank you for being here...

@Lucky: Thank you Lucky ^^ I'll try drawing as well And, I'll try not to think of demons...or try extra hard to think about God's light when I'm feeling kinda sensitive to them...I'll try =)

@Maka-chan: Thanks, Maka...I know that when I get through this, I'll be closer to Him...

@Rock: =) Thank you. Really...it spoke to me, because there've been times lately when I've prayed for something, and then just expected it to happen...and then becoming saddened when it didn't...I guess that tied in to what I meant when I said, 'I'm so focused on asking God for my every want, that I lose focus on Him' ...yeah. I'll PM you soon since you wanna see me vent...

Mah...I'm so happy to have your support and prayers, guys

[Dr.Faust]

I'll be praying
Might I sdjest you pick up an instramint as in BECK, Music Is Life! It sets you soul free.

[Mr. Hat'n'Clogs]

I hope you really get over this. I'll definitely be praying for you.

Like Tsuki said, drawing is something that can really help. Drawing a good picture always cheers me up.

Also, if you feel the need to rant, please feel free to rant to me. Ranting always makes me feel better.

I really hope you get over this. I promise I will pray until you get over this, and maybe some after that .

[freerock1]

Lifting you up in prayer, my sister. Be encouraged.

[rainbowchick_02]

I'll be praying for you too! ^_^

[Lady Kenshin]

I'm so sorry. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Praying for you.

[Taran]

I'll be praying for you, I had the same type of problem about a year ago and just playing my guitar and praying helped alot.

[Anystazya]

Sorry for not replying to you guys a little earlier...

@DrFaust: Yeah, I play piano. There's a couple songs that I've been able to put my emotion into; it's really nice...Thank you

@Hat'n'Clogs: Thank you ^^ There are a few things I've drawn lately that would sort fit into venting...I may upload them here sometime...maybe...I'm glad you'll be here if I need someone to rant to ^.^ Again, thanks for your prayers

@freerock: I'm very grateful =) Thank you

@rainbowchick: Thankies! =) I don't believe we've ever spoken before, but thank you, so much

@Lady Kenshin: Aw, thanks Lady K...Means a lot to me...

@Taran: Yeah, praying helps, and I find music can be really helpful as well...thank you =)

Hm...I was honestly very surprised at the feedback I got here...I thank you all so much...

I've been feeling...mostly okay, and I was sure I was about to get over this...and then there was this fight with my mom, right before going to school, and I was so depressed, and I tried praying, and I thought about how much distance I've put between Him and I...and I realized that I need to really try harder to build myself up again...But honestly, thank you all for your prayers. They really help.

I also have another prayer request. For my dad...Many of you know, he's a pastor, and that also means he has to do funerals. And, this year especially, there have been many deaths where he's had to do the funerals...It's putting a lot of stress on him. One of our church members, a man who is the same age as my grandpa, died a few days ago, and the funeral is this Monday...In the summer, a twenty-year old who's girlfriend's parents came to our church, drowned...my dad had to do that funeral...Anyways, there have been a lot of funerals my dad's had to do, and then he gets stressed, or sad...and then he gets short-tempered...He was telling me yesterday, that it's time like these that some pastors don't really want to have to do that...The man who died was a good friend of an elderly lady who's husband died almost a year ago...so prayer for her would also be nice.

[Roz]

I'm glad you're feeling a little better. I hope you continue to do so.

I'm sorry about your Dad. Yeah, that has to be such a huge stress. I'm sorry he gets short tempered.

I'll pray for y'all. Just did actually.

Hang in there.

[Smile:)]

I'm still praying for you Any. ^.^ And I'll pray for your dad, too.