I don't know exactly what brought it on, but today I actually had to visit the emergency room. I found myself having great difficulty breathing and was extremely scared and worked up over it. In the end they took my blood, ran chest x-rays, etc. and thankfully found nothing serious. Unfortunately, while it may not be anything extremely life threatening, they did approve an inhaler for asthma and said it also could simply be stress induced (though since I've had hard moments of breathing when not even freaking out, I have a bad feeling it's more asthma)...
Either way, the whole thing is rather depressing. Not being able to breathe is scariest and most horrible feeling in the universe. Being cut or something, that sucks, but not being able to breathe? Dude, nothing even remotely compares. The fact that I'm naturally tense person and can't get myself to settle down just aggravates things. At first I somewhat convinced myself my stress lately is what triggered it, but like I said above, there have been times I really don't think much of it and it happens, so I'm worried it's asthma...but if that's the case, getting stressed out isn't gonna help matters either.
In short...I would just really appreciate prayers that it stops and gets better. That I AM able to control my stress. The whole time in the hospital I was praying to God for it not to be anything serious and figured asthma wouldn't be that terrible in comparison to all else, but...man, now I really feel bad for anyone who's had this problem in their life. I think it's even more annoying for me as I've never had breathing problems before (I don't smoke or anything either) so to go from normal breathing to this? I think it makes it even harder for me to really cope with it. It's not like most people who have asthma since they were younger or something, yanno? I really wish God would just cure it from me, especially since something in me tells me that it's not exactly "real" asthma.
And in case you wonder what I mean by that...dad was given an inhaler when he was around 30 or so and even then he only used it for that one year and then never really used it again. Recently he's had more problems now that he's getting closer to fifty, but even then, not only do they not seem quite that severe, but it should also be noted he actually DOES smoke. I don't. So for me to develop problems so early and with a better overall history with that part of my body...just seems odd. Also it came so out of the blue (yesterday was the first real time I've ever had a hard time breathing so it's not like I've had this happen severely a lot lately. ._.) so I keep thinking it's something triggered by a cold going around, my stress, stuff in the air, something else if you get my drift...though that doesn't take away the uncomfortableness, which, in turn, makes me more stressed out than I am now. Like I said, praying is just...please. I'd really appreciate it. I hate being tense to begin with, but this is making things worse. ._. I'm almost wishing there was some sort of medication to mellow me out since breathing techniques only work so well and I've had a history of just naturally being tense regardless of the situation. ._.