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Postby Sheenar » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:04 pm

I'm currently undergoing a battery of psychological and aptitude testing for the DARS agency (so they know how best to help me in my job search).
Having to discuss my background in the interview part (and also some of the questions that I had to bubble in a response to) brought back some pretty bad memories of my past. It's like I just can't get away from it --I keep trying to put my past with my mom behind me and it keeps coming back up. I hate being reminded of all the crap I have gone through --I just want to forget sometimes (though I know God can --and He has--use my past to help someone else).
It's just hard to be reminded of it --a lot of it is still very hurtful to me, so it's like opening an old wound.
It all just reminded me that I have no parents around, no home to go to --I graduate from college in 10 months and I'll have to leave my friends and church family here--who have all helped me so much --and I'll have to start over somewhere else. I'll be on my own and have to find a support system again.
Also, it is wedding season. And I'm starting to really long for a husband and a family. I just a family so badly --it's something I've never really had. Pray that I will be content with God's timing. (Though leaving college with an Mrs. degree would be an added benefit. :) )
Pray that I will stop worrying about the future and about things I have no control over. Pray that I will give all that to God and trust that He has a plan and will continue to take care of me. Also pray that my focus and priorities are where they should be --on the Lord.

Thank you.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Postby Sheenar » Sat Jul 26, 2008 2:16 pm

Also have been struggling with feelings of not being worth something. I just don't understand how I can still feel that I'm not worth loving/being friends with/etc. when Christ died for me? And when I know what Scripture says?
I guess it's just harder than I thought to fight the lies I've been told all my life.

Prayer would be appreciated.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Postby Sheenar » Sat Jul 26, 2008 7:58 pm

I hate to triple post, but I really, really could use some voice of support. Some word of encouragement. Please.

I get so upset when people don't respond to me or don't include me in things --but why do I let other's actions/inactions determine my sense of worth? Christ died for me! That is where my worth is found!
Just because someone acts a certain way or avoids me does not mean I am not worth being friends with or that no one cares. I wish I could just stop caring what other people think/do. It's so hard.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Postby Lady Arianrod » Sat Jul 26, 2008 8:22 pm

I will be praying for you. I've felt similar "worth" issues and I also care too much about what other people think.

I will pray that you will trust God. I am still on the same path, but life is a daily journey. Don't get discouraged by a bad day or even a bad thought. God holds the future.
~Life is the art of drawing without an eraser~



Lady Arianrod, lover of nature and fire.


Hello there! I'm back after a long break! I started watching anime again in 2016. I still check the forum too!

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
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Postby Kunoichi » Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:21 am

Hey sis,

I understand the opening of wounds. Sis, first to offer encouragement. I know that what you are going through is rough but the great thing is one, it is temporary, and two, god can use your pain for good both for yourself and other people.

Sis also about trying to forget your past. The fact is: you won't. I am trying to say this lovingly cuz I know its rough. Sister, you will never forget the past or the pain involved. However, you can confront it and say to it: "You do not have power over me anymore because my God is greater and stronger than you are." (for me personally that is the only way I have been able to move on from my own abuse and fears of my ex boss trying to kill me)

Sister we are here for you. Even if we can't fully understand everything that you go through (the lack of worth feeling I really understand..) we are here to support you ^_^

*big hugs stay strong my sister and remember to just focus on loving God
I am on the forefront of battle against the demons of earth. All Praise and Glory be given to God Forever and Ever!


:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
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Postby animewarrior » Sun Jul 27, 2008 1:31 pm

hey Sheenar-san. I'll be praying for you & all the crap that you're dealing with.
I don't know all the details but just remember in all things the Lord is our strength as well
as as you said, his timing is perfect.

I hope you meet your awesome handsome guy at exactly the right time and you find that he's more than you ever hoped for. Because God will give us up and above our expectations in all things, even if we feel like we don't deserve it.

Stay strong k? Remember you are princess and warrior of God.
Don't forget how much ppl love you. God Bless.

-Sincerely,
Your Sister in Christ,
animewarrior
Status: Lurker.... but I'll be around.
~ The fainter the heartbeat the stronger the soul~

*They're just an incomplete group of people wishing to be whole; and to that end, they're desperately searching for something.* - Namine (Kingdom Hearts 2)
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Postby Gabriel 9.0 » Sun Jul 27, 2008 4:35 pm

Hi Sheenar, I'll be praying for you as well. People who act that way for the sake of being unruly and downright negative are sadly being influenced by the lawless one and not worth your time imo. Given how they never appreciate a nice person, like yourself. Your best bet is to pray for their souls to be saved and that they will perhaps change for the Lord and their own well being. And one day you'll meet the right guy and make him happy. Like I have faith in God that I will meet Mrs right one day.

Don't give up. The Lord has something great for us all to do for him:thumb:. Remember anything is possible with the Lord on your side.

God Bless.
Some of my favorite scriptures.

Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.



James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.



Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
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Postby Sheenar » Sun Jul 27, 2008 9:00 pm

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. I am feeling better. Still going to battle these things for a while, though. But I know God has a plan --I just have to trust --and I need to just take one day at a time and not worry or be anxious about tomorrow. God knows what will happen and He will take care of me.

Again, thank you all for the encouraging words and for the prayers.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Postby Doubleshadow » Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:03 pm

*zips in* Sheenar-chan!

I hope you're still doing better. It took me a while to find value in how Jesus views me and blast what other people think of me (maybe I'm a little extreme? XD), but I managed it eventually. I found it took a lot of letting go of things, my past, other peoples expectations, good and bad, my own expectations, teaching I had been taught, and culture conditioning. It took a while and was hard sometimes, often I felt like I was betraying someone by turning my back on what I had been taught, but I did it, and I'm doing much better for it.
You have my prayers as always prayer, sis.

DS

Remember: God looked at you and said, "It's is good." Everybody else can just deal with Him if they don't like it! XD
[color="Red"]As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. - Proverbs 23:7[/color]

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Robin: "If we close our eyes, we can't see anything."
Batman: "A sound observation, Robin."
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