Postby Ingemar » Sat Apr 19, 2008 10:21 am
[SIZE="5"]Special: GRUDGE MATCH: Omega Amen vs. UC Pseudonym[/SIZE]
Announcer:
Welcome to another exciting broadcast of CAA Free-For-All, brought to you by C.O.R.R.I.E! Today the demons of the past rise again as two of the fora's powerhouses duke it out in a high-octane, ultra-violent FINAL MATCH. Omega Amen and UC Pseudonym!!!!
(Setting: Siberia)
(UC PSEUDONYM is scribbling what appears to be an outline. He is also muching on trail mix. Only a title, "Treatise to Unoriginal Ideas in Fanworks" is visible. He is dressed in his trademark* scarf and shades and is reclining by a tree. OMEGA AMEN is slurping tea elsewhere, sitting on a conveniently, if inexplicably placed dinette set in the middle of a lawn covered with snow. He has a book on programming or something or other one the table.)
Omega Amen:
(slurp) I hope this works.
(A dimensional (?) portal opens up and out falls DEBITT, f.k.a. KOKORO DAISUKE, accompanied by several floating dolls).
Debitt:
Kyaaaaaah! First pollen, then lack of Mountain Dew and kasdlkfawerfsadfdsf9i I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING SIBERIA WHAT IS THIS WHAT IS GOING ON PLEASE INFORM ME CUZ I DON'T HAVE FLIPPING CLUE ZOMG.
Omega Amen:
There you are. So it seems my little plan worked.
Debitt:
Oh, hai...uh, you! Um, (lol) whut?
Omega Amen:
I'm going to murder UC Pseudonym... and you are going to help me. (slurp).
Debitt:
And why would I want to do that?
Omega Amen:
Because--
(BRIEF FLASHBACK-- we see DEBITT getting stabbed by a Sephiroth-pastiche and also her getting in a fight with UC)
Debitt:
Hold a dang moment! This is your fight, not mine.
Omega Amen:
I'm not sure about that. (He hands her a crudely-written bunch of 8x11 pages with a title page WHY AIR GEAR SUCKS by UC PSEUDONYM).
Debitt:
WHAT!!! THAT [CENSORED]!!! I'll KILL HIM, KILL HIM, KILL HIM!!!!
Omega:
(devilish grin) Exactly as planned.
(UC PSEUDONYM continues writing when suddenly, a hail of brilliant bullets decimate his tree. DEBITT floats above).
Debitt:
That will show him!
UC:
(appears from behind) Show him what?
Debitt:
GYAAAGH! UC! For insulting my fandom and killing me, you deserve to die! Eat this!...
[Curse] Eerily Luminous Shanghai Dolls -Hard-
(Hundreds of DEBITT's dolls appear and pepper the battlefield with bullets like rain. UC tries to dodge them. He gives up).
UC:
I've underestimated you. I cannot possibly match you and your legions of creepy dolls. At least finish me off like like a warrior, face to face, your blade to my neck.
Debitt:
Tee hee hee!
(DEBITT calls off her dolls and pulls out a knife and walks up to UC PSEUDONYM. However, he grabs a peanut from his trail mix and shoves it in her eye)
Debitt:
GYAAAAHOMGHOWDOIKEEPFALLINGFORTHISCRAPPGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
(Her eyes water and swell, her head turns red and blows up like a balloon and explodes in a violent shower of blood and brains. Her dolls float around her remains as if in mourning. Minutes later, they stop moving and fall. UC doesn't notice and pulls out his papers and pen until he is interrupted by a shining blast of energy.)
Omega Amen:
(piloting a giant mecha) We meet again, MODERATOR!
[SIZE="4"]TO BE CONCLUDED![/SIZE]
*UC Pseudonym is depicted in Mave's fanart as a Sephiroth pastiche with sunglasses and a scarf.
Author's note: Some of the veteran readers may see this as a rehash of previous battles. I am doing this for the sake of the newer readers.
Job 7:16
I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are but a breath.