Postby USSRGirl » Mon Dec 10, 2007 5:25 pm
Praying for God's strength, comfort, and understanding in your situation, Oro. It helps to remember that every Christian goes through low points in their faith, just as any healthy, loving father-child relationship wouldn't be perfect every day. You're not alone, you're not 'off your rocker' - you're just human.
I know you've said you've already spent a lot of time researching, but I would recommend that you take time alone with God in prayer and Bible reading and continue to do so in spite of whatever happens because it will help you get a grip on things. We don't always see the full scope of things at once, and in those times I've found that it's best to just trust in God. Even if we don't understand, He does, and we have peace in that knowledge.
I don't really know what specificly your struggling with, but this verse always helped me put everything in perspective, knowing that Jesus is our purpose for living and once we have Him in our hearts everything else comes as a result of Him in time:
"...their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God's mystery, that is, Christ Himself, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Col 2:2-3