General Depression Prayer Thread

[Blitzkrieg1701]

While I've been down in the dumps quite a bit, I'm don't know if anything I've experienced would qualify as evidence of being bi-polar. If you even think you are, though, I'd deffinately say that you shouldn't hesitate to get checked up or something, just to make sure.

...though I would imagine that the money situation wouldn't help...

Well, you're definately still in my prayers, for what it's worth.

[Kunoichi]

No K. Ayato you didn't...

Yesterday, I went from happy (like really happy) to suicidal to happy to suicidal to happy.....

that was why I was wondering..scary really...

[Okami]

I'm not sure if what I have could be considered bipolar (Heck, I call myself "Manic" which is technically the same thing) but I truely understand the happy-suicidal-happy pattern thing. Crazy weird.

Today I went and bought The Message//Remix: Solo...I've been wanting to get a copy of The Message Bible and I really liked the lectio divina Devotional style of this one: Read, Think, Pray, Live/"Just What I Need", since I've been struggling with where to even begin reading in the Bible, how much to read, how to apply it (Even with owning a few Life Application/Study Bibles I'm fighting...) not to mention that even though I would like to just sit and read from cover to cover, I can't get the motivation to do so, and I just tend to read Genesis chapters 1-3 mindlessly over and over again.
So this is just what I need, I just need to daily commit my time, morning, evening, at school; whenever, to this.

Alongside it, I bought a dry-pencil Bible highlighter kit (I had a blue one, but it mysteriously vanished yesterday!) so now I have Pink, Blue, Green, and Yellow--and it even comes with a Bible Coloring Code! Yes. That's exactly what I've needed XD
And a beautiful bookmark: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9" I saw it while reflecting the past month and looking at bookmarks and thought; "Huh, that's exactly what it's been, in this weakness I have been made stronger, and all I need is His grace to carry me through the storm..."

Then I bought a book called "Scars That Wound : Scars That Heal//A Journey Out of Self Injury" by Jan Kern. Just reading the back cover, I knew it was a book I needed to own. And, I just took a look at the copyright for the first time.....2007. So it's brand new. Aw, I can't wait to begin reading it.

[Sheenar]

I just got my new Bible study in the mail yesterday --"Lord, I Want to Be Whole" by Stormie Omartian. She was also a survivor of child abuse. I haven't gotten to start reading it yet (I was at a women's retreat this weekend), but from the first couple of sentences I can tell it's going to be good (and probably hard to read at times since it hits so close to home). So yay! I finally have it! I'm going to get started in the morning...

Glad to hear you're doing better, Okami! Keep hanging in there and drawing your strength from God.

[Okami]

Oh, and how was the retreat, Sheenar?

Thank you In about 15 minutes I'll be out the door and off to church, where I get to face some of my closest friends and such. Ah, today should be good. I'll keep y'all updated.

[Sparx00]

How's everyone doing? Any better?

[Okami]

I'm content right now. Actually, it's probably all this sugar giving me a high. Either way, I'm not feeling violent...

I got a little card from Family Christian today that says "Jesus Heals" with a little cross bandaid--actually, I plan now to base my tattoo from this card It's so RIGHT.

[K. Ayato]

Family Christian? Cool!

[Sheenar]

The retreat was good. It was nice to get away for a day....

The wedding shower was really good. I'm so excited for my friends!

God really provided in an awesome way today. I'll have to tell you later though. I'm really super tired--so I'm going to go to bed and I'll post tomorrow afternoon and tell y'all.


Good night! Sleep well everyone!;)

[Kamille]

Kunoichi, I'm praying for you with all my heart.

Okami, I'm so glad to hear you're doing okay and that you still are on fire for the Lord Jesus. Both because I love you as a Christian and because it shows God answers prayers.

[Okami]

I'm shaky right now. Thougts of cutting have filled my mind; to the point where I cannot concentrate on the homework before me. I'm determined NOT to cut...but the thoughts are not swayed. On my wrist I've wrote briskly in red pen: "JESUS TAKE CONTROL" and that was right before getting mocked on the bus, having to give those middle school girls the silent treatment; to them laughing at my not even looking at them, my music blaring, as they messed with my earbuds and jabbed me in the arm and cheek....My mood has decayed.

[K. Ayato]

Take a breather, hon. Do something (not harmful) to get those thoughts out of your head.

[K. Ayato]

Sorry to double post here, but we're all pulling for you, Okami. You can make it.

[Sheenar]

Okami,
What do you like to do that relaxes you? I know when I am struggling with thoughts painting, crocheting, or reading helps my mind clear.

Hang in there, friend. We're all here for you.

[Kunoichi]

Okami, I'm here too..even as I sway...

update: My boyfriend's car is broke...we have no money to fix it and now no car. Please pray

[SP1]

<mod snip>


Perhaps do your homework someplace not so private, so cutting isn't really an option. Praying for you, well I guess it's pretty much every day at this point.

[Sakaki Onsei]

Okami and Kunoichi, I am putting you on my list for tonight, and will continue through the week for your prayer.

I just ask for everyone to pray for my current situation, which involves my mind trying to make me panic in the face of potential unemployment and debt that is about to show itself like a brick wall.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Okami, Kunoichi, Sakaki Onsei, I'm praying for all ya'll.

[Kunoichi]

Update..

I did some research on Bipolar II disorder..seems to fit actually because it is often misdiagnosed as depression and well..I dunno if it's right but it seems to fit...antidepressants can make it worse too so I'm gonna have it checked out...

Thank you all for the prayer...debt well i'm in major debt right now..both me and my boyfriend...we have no money and now both don't have a car...i'm in trouble here and I don't know what to do...except pray

[lizzichan]

Thank you for posting this thread...
I will be praying for everyone who needs prayer...
anyways, I feel a deep sense of sadness a lot of the time. I tend to be too insecure and self conscious...people keep telling me to be more confident and to have more faith....
About five months ago or so I got a promotion at work and I was very happy. I was doing an ok job, then, I made a few mistakes and my confidence level bottomed out. I have been feeling like I am on a roller coaster. Some days I feel like I am doing fine, then others I feel useless as a supervisor, like nothing I do is right.
Last wednesday my department had a walk thru. My manager said that the bosses had been impressed but had given us a few challenges. He then told me he wanted me to move the NFL gifts over to where we had the NFL shop, which was across from the athletic apparel pad. Then, he disappeared. To make a long story short, I began the move then realised there wasn't enough space. Tried to call my manager to discover he had left. I then spent the rest of the day frustrated I wanted to cry, but held back. It took me all day to do a mediocre job on a project I should have been able to complete in two-three hours and I missed out on taking a lunch. My manager was due back at the store right when I was supposed to be leaving. I waited to talk to him but he was taking too long and so I left a message for him to call me.
I was nearly home when he called me back. I told him about the project and how frustrated I had been. I actually started crying. I was crying and talking on the phone and driving...bad move, I know...
my manager apologized and said that he should have given me more direction. but, he also said that he had hoped that I would have picked up enough to have been able to do the job.
I ended up crying for another ten minutes after I got off the phone. Then next few days I was still really upset....I felt depressed, useless, like maybe I should quit.
Even though my manager and my partner supervisor told me that I am still learning and that it is ok to make mistakes and stuff, I still feel really down....

[Okami]

The depression is real. My counselor, she gave me a test today--for the depression. It was a scaled test, 0-60, above 16 being depressed.

Me?

I got a 52, that's like, suicidal level depression.

[Kiku]

that stinks...

[K. Ayato]

You can still beat it with the Lord's help, and with your friends around you, Okami . *Hugs*

[Kunoichi]

I did a bipolar test...0 to 30..and I got a 25 for Bipolar II disorder...I feel like a fool...I just want to control this thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sanji07]

You all will be in my prayers. ^_^

[Okami]

Just got back from youth group. I told a friend from school about my depression/cutting; asked her for prayer and accountability. She then asked for prayers against her own depression fight--so if you guys could lift her up.
Our message tonight was on love and serving together (As Nathan said: "The two points being "Love God" and "Love your Neighbor"" but I turned to my friend and was like "...But you can't love your neighbor when you're not loving yourself first--" and then I muttered "three points, technically, Nathan..." )
It was good. I'm fairly happy right now. I had another run-in with wanting to speak of Jesus' grace and love from my own experience through ministry

As a forum admin on another site told me, "Now you see, Satan has already started working on you about this. He is telling you that you need to fear... that the number is high and you are or could become suicidal. Okami, I beg you to pour out your heart to Jesus.....Don't let the enemy run your life"

Well, I'm off to finishing my devo before bed. We're off to beat this thing; I will NOT be medicated for something the Lord can take care of!

[Sheenar]

One thing that helps me when I begin to have bouts with depression/fear/whatever is to remember that I have a refuge in God.

I noticed when reading Psalms a few years ago that the word refuge is used quite a lot. So I decided to look it up (I wrote the definition in my Bible).

The American Heritage Dictionary defines refuge as:
1. Protection or shelter, as from danger or hardship.
2. A place providing protection or shelter.
3. A source of help, relief, or comfort in times of trouble.

[color="RoyalBlue"]2 Samuel 22:2-4 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
[NIV at IBS] [International Bible Society] [NIV at Zondervan] [Zondervan]

2 He said:
"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

3 my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation.
He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—
from violent men you save me.

4 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.[/color]

[color="Orange"]2 Samuel 22:30-32 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)

30 With your help I can advance against a troop [a] ;
with my God I can scale a wall.

31 "As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.

32 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?[/color]

[color="Magenta"]

Psalm 5:11

11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.[/color]

[color="SeaGreen"]Psalm 9:8-10

8 He will judge the world in righteousness;
he will govern the peoples with justice.

9 The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.

10 Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.[/color]

[color="Blue"]Psalm 31:1-3

Psalm 31
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.

2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.

3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.[/color]

These are just a few of the verses on God as refuge. Go to http://www.biblegateway.com and do a keyword search for "refuge."

Know that God is always there for us and know His promises. He will never leave us Fatherless. Remember Jesus' speech to Jerusalem in Matthew 23:37--He wanted to shelter the people of that city like a hen shelters her chicks under her wings. He has great love for us. Let us take refuge in Him.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Thank you for posting this thread...
I will be praying for everyone who needs prayer...
anyways, I feel a deep sense of sadness a lot of the time. I tend to be too insecure and self conscious...people keep telling me to be more confident and to have more faith....
About five months ago or so I got a promotion at work and I was very happy. I was doing an ok job, then, I made a few mistakes and my confidence level bottomed out. I have been feeling like I am on a roller coaster. Some days I feel like I am doing fine, then others I feel useless as a supervisor, like nothing I do is right.
Last wednesday my department had a walk thru. My manager said that the bosses had been impressed but had given us a few challenges. He then told me he wanted me to move the NFL gifts over to where we had the NFL shop, which was across from the athletic apparel pad. Then, he disappeared. To make a long story short, I began the move then realised there wasn't enough space. Tried to call my manager to discover he had left. I then spent the rest of the day frustrated I wanted to cry, but held back. It took me all day to do a mediocre job on a project I should have been able to complete in two-three hours and I missed out on taking a lunch. My manager was due back at the store right when I was supposed to be leaving. I waited to talk to him but he was taking too long and so I left a message for him to call me.
I was nearly home when he called me back. I told him about the project and how frustrated I had been. I actually started crying. I was crying and talking on the phone and driving...bad move, I know...
my manager apologized and said that he should have given me more direction. but, he also said that he had hoped that I would have picked up enough to have been able to do the job.
I ended up crying for another ten minutes after I got off the phone. Then next few days I was still really upset....I felt depressed, useless, like maybe I should quit.
Even though my manager and my partner supervisor told me that I am still learning and that it is ok to make mistakes and stuff, I still feel really down....

Though I've never been a supervisor or anything, I can definately empathize with stress and confidence issues. I'll be praying that God both gives you more confidence at work, and that He helps you get over past stress (which can be darn hard to let go of).

And Kunoichi and Okami, I'm of course praying for ya'll too!

[Alexander]

It seems I've finally reached my breaking point.

It turns out, to even my own disbelief, that I've been distorting reality and forcing myself to hope for the impossible and putting all my faith into it in order to keep myself in some stable state.

However, because reality wouldn't conform to my needs and I couldn't live believing it forever, I had to let go, and with it, my wishes to die have come back and are just as strong.

So, I'm seeing a counselor ASAP. It's the only thing left from being confined completely as a last resort to keeping myself from trying to find peace in the fastest way possible.

If this fails, then only outside prevention can keep me away from suicide.

[SP1]

<mod snip>




I wonder just how accurate those things are, questions and answers being subjective and all. I mean, you can be in a sort-of dark mood, and read a lot into a question (and question yourself in the process). Perhaps you can come across as way more depressed (on paper) than actual.

I take those "how much stress is in your life" tests sometimes, and usually I am on the "should have already spontaneously combusted" category. However, in general I am happy. Not a good test for me. Of course, it's been said that I am not like "other" people.

Don't label yourself based on a test. Stay the counselling course and keep up with the devo. Still praying for you lots.