CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I'm doing an essay. Does this sentence sound right to you guys

[font='Times New Roman']With technology, the Deaf community is now better able to connect with their community and the world around them.[/font]
[font='Times New Roman'][/font]
[font='Times New Roman']Its the beginning sentence for one of the paragraphs[/font]

I'd change the first bit: with today's new techonology.

With today's new technology, the Deaf community is now able to better connect with their community and the world around them.

That's what I think anyway

Edit: it may also look better as "With today's new technology, the Deaf community is now able to better communicate with their community and the world around them." depending on the structure of the rest of the paragraph

You don't need to capitalize the word "deaf". Just my advice.

TheMelodyMaker wrote:You don't need to capitalize the word "deaf". Just my advice.

Can't believe I missed that. Must mean it's time to sleep hehe

Hello, Owner!

I can't see anything wrong with it. It sounds awesome. But if it doesn't sound right to you there is always the possibility of flipping it around a little or mess with the words.

The deaf community is now better able to connect with their community and the world around them due to technological advancements.

What are you exploring about technology/ the deaf community in your essay? It sound like a really interesting subject and reminds me of a documentary for my Media Studies class where we look at how people with disabilities relate to the rest of their community, their struggles with people's attitudes, their successes, etc.

Sounds good so far... though I'd say its either 'deaf community' or 'Deaf Community', depending on whether you're talking about a specific group or not. ...Actually, I think 'deaf community' is probably right.

Yes, what exactly are you doing it on? It does sound interesting. And is there anything else you need help, advice, or just a sounding board on?

If I may say, just use "... the deaf are..." as you are using community later on, and the repitiion stands out.