CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Okay, I can't post the whole thing because of copyright stuff, but I can post pieces of it...at least the pieces that don't need edited.



Some Graveyard with Classy Naked Statues

CHRISTINE [singing sadly]:

You were once
my bosom companion
but now my tears
wet lots of tissues.
© 2005 Cleolinda Jones. All rights reserved. cleolinda.livejournal.com
You were once
my dad and best friend—
but now you’re dead
and I’ve got daddy issues.

VOICE FROM THE DAAÉ TOMB: Christine! Come to me!

CHRISTINE: Daddy? Is that you?

VOICE FROM THE DAAÉ TOMB: …Sure, if that’s your thing.

[Raoul rides up, leaps off his white charger, and tosses his hair urgently.]

RAOUL: Christine! That’s not your dad! That’s just the Phantom!

VOICE FROM THE DAAÉ TOMB: NO IT’S NOT! I’M TOTALLY HER DAD! DADDY LOVES YOU, CHRISTINE!

RAOUL: Oh, COME ON, Christine! You hung out with this guy! You fell in love with his stupid voice! You ought to be able to recognize it!

CHRISTINE: Well, it does sound kind of familiar…

RAOUL: And you saw his face, right?

CHRISTINE: Well… yeah… I mean… he bears kind of a passing resemblance to my father… I mean, aside from the giant Sunburn of Doom… He really looked like my dad when we were singing about the Music of the Night and he was running his hands all over me.
© 2005 Cleolinda Jones. All rights reserved. cleolinda.livejournal.com
RAOUL: YOU ARE WRONG IN THE HEAD.

The Roof of the Opera House

RAOUL: Why did you drag me up here?

CHRISTINE: Because the Phantom will kill you if he sees you with me!

RAOUL: Oh, shpfff. There’s no Phantom.

[The Phantom who does not exist is watching them from behind a statue.]

CHRISTINE: Yuh-huh! We had a sleepover and everything! I’ve seen his face, Raoul!

RAOUL: OMG YOU SAW HIS FACE?

CHRISTINE: It was terrible!

RAOUL: How terrible?

CHRISTINE: Well… not really all that terrible, it wasn’t even his whole face—it wasn’t really even half his face…

RAOUL: IT SOUNDS SO TERRIBLE.

CHRISTINE: And I mean, really, it’s not like he’s a leper or anything… really, you could just have him sleep on the left side of the bed and he’d look just fine if you were lying on the other side… really fine…

RAOUL: YOU MUST BE TRAUMATIZED. TELL ME YOU ARE TRAUMATIZED.

CHRISTINE: Well, there was that whole murder thing just now.

RAOUL: Atta girl! I will love you and marry you and hold you and protect you and spend my whole life keeping you AWAY FROM HIM.

CHRISTINE: Awww! That’s so sweet.

THE PHANTOM: GRRRRRRRRR.

CHRISTINE: What was that?

RAOUL: I don’t know and I don’t care.

[Raoul and Christine kiss.]

Some Graveyard with Classy Statues

[The Phantom opens the gate and allows Raoul to wade into his lair. This should be everybody’s first clue that something is afoot.]

THE PHANTOM: Hey, could you stand here by the gate for a moment?

RAOUL: No problem.
© 2005 Cleolinda Jones. All rights reserve d. cleolinda.livejournal.com
THE PHANTOM: Awesome. Hold this rope for me while I tie you up with the other one.

RAOUL: Sure thing.

THE PHANTOM: HA HA! I HAVE YOU NOW, VICOMTE!

THE PHANTOM: AND NOW I STRANGLE YOU WITH THE OTHER ROPE!
© 2005 Cleolinda Jones. All rights reserved. cleolinda.livejourna l.com
RAOUL: Ohhhhhh, my hand at the level of my eyes—NGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

THE PHANTOM: Marry me or I kill him!

RAOUL: Don’t do it ChristiNNNNNGGGGGH!

CHRISTINE: Wait, so… if I really love Raoul, I’ll marry… you…?

RAOUL: No, Christine! I fought so hard to set you freeNNNNNGGHHHHH!

CHRISTINE: So… I choose you… the Phantom kills you… and he holds me captive anyway?
© 2005 Cleolinda Jones. All righ ts reserved. cleolinda.livejournal.com
THE PHANTOM: MOO HA HA.

CHRISTINE: Hmm. This is a really good excuse to smack on this guy the way I’ve wanted to for the whole movie anyway.

THE PHANTOM: What?

CHRISTINE: I KISS YOU!
© 2005 Cleolinda Jone s. All rights reserved. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[They kiss for, like, five minutes. It is a good kiss.]

RAOUL: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

THE PHANTOM: *bursts into tears*

CHRISTINE: Awww! He’s so sensitive!

THE PHANTOM: *sniffle*

CHRISTINE: Why don’t you ever cry when I kiss you, Raoul?

RAOUL: What?

THE MOB [in the distance]: WE COME FOR YOU, PHANTOM!

THE PHANTOM: Go, both of you! Forget me! Be happy!

CHRISTINE: But you still have plenty of time to kill him or whatever—

RAOUL: CHRISTINE!

CHRISTINE: And carry me off somewhere!

RAOUL: CHRISTINE!

RAOUL: ARE YOU IN THERE WITH SOME VAMPIRE?

[But Raoul is too late, because the mirror has opened and Christine has been pulled through by… an “angelâ€

Heh. Not a bad summary.

Maybe even better than Lloyd Weber's except for the music.

I appreciate the effort that went into this and all, Heart of Sword, but there's the little matter of this, from the original LiveJournal entry:

"You may repost brief excerpts with author credit and a link back to this entry or the community as a whole. DO NOT repost this parody 1) without my name or a link back; 2) with any changes to the wording or language; or 3) in its entirety on your journal, on your website, on a message board, on fanfiction.net, or on ANY OTHER PAGE ON THE INTERNET without my written permission."

Bummer.

I'm really getting tired of this movie...

I posted her name and link...and don't we post anime pictures? Those are copywritten.

Heart of Sword wrote:I posted her name and link...and don't we post anime pictures? Those are copywritten.

However, you violated the rules that the wording and language were NOT to be changed, and that it was not to be posted in its entirety.

Hmmm what if I take out enormous chunks of it? Wouldn't that make it more like quoting it?

Heart of Sword wrote:Hmmm what if I take out enormous chunks of it? Wouldn't that make it more like quoting it?

In keeping with the rules, if you posted brief unedited portions, it would not be a violation of the rules. However, that statement has TWO stipulations in it: 1) that the sections are brief, and 2) that it is UNEDITED, thus making the title of your thread inaccurate.

That's unfortunate; however, it is her handiwork, and if she wishes for it to remain unedited, you must respect her wishes.

Okay, I'll repost the chunks that I didn't have to edit.