CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I just got back from seeing this with a friend of mine. I gotta say...very rarely am I sickend by a movie. This movie sucked. Plain and simple. But, no shocker considering Uwe Bowl directed it. He also made a crapfest with "House Of The Dead" It seems he is trying to kill everyones braincells with his movies. Right out of the gates of this movie I knew it was gonna be lame....no plot...lousy acting all around. Tara Reid was amazingly dim...with a very shoddy preformance by Christian Slater. I think what capped it with me..a scene were these craptastic CG things, are attacking a building...a few agent guys show up with guns...and theres like a bullet rave. The lights go out...the camera starts spinning....I half expected to see the Cheat start hurling glowsticks. Save your cash guys...its not even worth a rental. Go watch paint try...Uwe Bowl should be banned from making films...forever. I know I have learned my lesson...I won't be seeing any more of his films. *goes to bed feeling ripped off that he saw this movie*

I find This website quite relevant

I normally dont feel proud about downloading movies, but since (as far as I can tell) Alone in the Dark isnt coming to Japan anytime soon... and since Uwe Boll is involved; I went ahead and got it. In short, I have not laughed so much while watching a movie, ever.
I'm going to either drop this on a DVD (once a better version shows up.. dont ask how that contradiciton of terms works) or use someone's laptop to output this on the lounge's large TV for a good laugh, I've been coerced into seeing some real bad movies here, and now it's time I get my revenge. Though I have a feeling one or two people will actually like it or not find one bit of it funny.

Boy, that site gets right to the point, doesn't it?

Poor shatterhear

That movie inspired me..... to vomit blood.

I thought it had SOME good things. I liked the opening fight scene with the bald guy. That bullet time through the block of ice was the best scene in the movie. I also liked the scene in the musuem with the beast thing. It made me think of that old movie "The Relic" as well as "Trilogy of Terror 2". Now I need to go and rent those movies again ^_^. There was also some stuff in that "bullet rave" scene that I liked, and the burrowing creatures in the sand pit looked cool. But other than that, the rest pretty much sucked. Dumb plot and a really stupid ending. Did it have any resemblance to the games at all?? I've never played them

One question: Am I the only one on earth that liked "House of the Dead"??

Volt, even b-grade horror have redeeming points. Uwe Boll has no redeeming points. I just hope someday he realises he is a crappy director and checks himself into a mental ward.

Sad. I liked the original Alone in the Dark Trilogy, although I never played "The New Nightmare". When I say I liked the original games, I mean I LIVED for them!!!!!! I played them over and over and over and over and I can remember much of them. I even have "AITD3" on CD still but, doh, it doesn't work so well with Windows XP (but then again, what does?)

But even before I knew who Uwe Boll was I knew it was going to be bad because they're approaching these movies wrong by making them part action movies. In my oppinion you should keep the two apart, unless you're VERY GOOD which most of these directors are not. For years I've wished they'd make a movie based on the first "Alone in the Dark" game which was, of the original trilogy, the best. Looks like Wilde was right when he said "There are two great tragedies in life; not getting what you want and finally getting it." I bet that the CAA can make a better horror movie than these idiots who call themselves "professionals" these days. And we don't need woods with shaky cameras to get away with it...

Speaking of Uwe Boll, he's making more movies according to the Internet Movie Database. He seems to be on a one-man mission to ruin the concept of basing movies on games. RUNAWAY! RUNWAY!!

Bolled Over

Edit: WHAT THE HECK DOES HOLLYWOOD SEE IN HIM!!!! He's giving German Filmmakers a bad name.

I would like to point out that the Tomatometer gives this movie a "freshness" rating of a measly 1%. That's right: 99% of all critics who saw this movie hated it. Apparently they weren't wrong...

Rocketshipper wrote:One question: Am I the only one on earth that liked "House of the Dead"??

Probably.

Oh, crap... he's doing Bloodrayne... *huddles into a corner and weeps for all fans of the game*

First Alone Game was good but I haven't played the others. I could tell from the start that the movie wouldn't do justice to the games. It was just inevitable.

Warrior 4 Jesus wrote:First Alone Game was good but I haven't played the others. I could tell from the start that the movie wouldn't do justice to the games. It was just inevitable.

The first game was scary with great atmosphere. There second was more pulpy than scary - you go to an ancient mansion run by bootleggers who look a little green around the gills, only they turn out to be 300-year old pirates (of the Flying Dutchman of all things) who want to sacrifice a little girl (with whom you can play as well at stages in the game) to voodoo gods so that she can age in their stead. (Pirates of the Carribeanweren't the first immortal pirates). The game is quite extensive with lot of great puzzles, weapons and such to play with.

The third one had a great spooky atmosphere but lacked a comprehensive narrative. You only have part of an idea what goes on. You go to a ghost town searching for a lost Hollywood film-crew and find some zombies running the town. A lot of Spaghetti Western tributes but and great atmosphere but murky and ultimately silly. Still fun to play.

I'm trying t

Volt wrote:I'm trying to collect those actually, I've got a HUGE library collection of Horror Video Games. Hopefully one day All us CAA member can meet up at my house (shatterheart will be the first to ring the bell probly ) and we can have a huge Survival-Horror-Marathon, Everyone'll bring a tv and there's TONS of room for many games to go on.

Have you collected "Alone in the Dark 3" yet? Or 2 for that matter?

nope, but i'm

I sorta wish they'd just stop trying to make Video games into movies. Many would probably disagree with me but the only way I think a video game to movie could be done is if you followed the game exact.

Of course people then would complain that there was nothing to look forward to if you played and beaten the game.... But that's still better then the junk we are getting now right?

No, i think

I dunno, I kinda like game/comic movies. Why? Cause I get a good story without having to actually PLAY/collect old comics for it. If they made FF dvds of just the cutscenes, I'd be first in line.

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Awww man seriously it was that horrible??. Man and the previews looked sooo promising and convincing. I don't know I still want to see it

yes I too th

He should burn for ruining House of The Dead

Volt wrote:Is now nothing but another "crappy" movie. Uwe Boll shall pay dearly.

Uwe Boll isn't a person, he's a metephysical manifestation of everything that is wrong with the Hollywood system. He has no talent so he gets one movie deal upon the other. And the studios would rather invest $12 million dollars in something like "Alone in the Dark" than $5 million in a movie like "Fargo", "Sideways" or even "The Lord of the Rings' when it was originally pitched (I suppose those who got it offered first are kicking themselves now like those who turned down Harry Potter and Stephen King for publication). They'd rather recycle old TV shows and movies instead of make something totally original or new for fear of losing money. As Orson Welles said, Hollywood is the only factory town with no laboratory for experimentation.

I'm curious but do you guys know that this is actually INFACT based from teh VIDEO GAMES!!!!!!!! If you know survival horrers games then you must know Alone of the Dark...when I first saw the preview of it Iwas wondering if it was ....well did some research and SURE ENOUGH it was based on that.....i just simply knew it was ending into disaster. WHY? Well first off they ddint have a FRIGIN HUGE MONSTER, it was more smaller yet scary monsters that seem to pop out of the shoadows and scare the living day out of you, you were in dark houses and stuff....not some GIANT ancient evil catacomb....I could go on but I think you guys get the idea.

House of the Dead was the worst movie I have ever seen. It made romantic comedies look appealing. Alone in the dark was almost that bad. Somparing Alone in the Dark to House of the Dead is like comparing syphilis to HIV. They are both awful, in the most awful ways.

I think we can do without STD similes.

Shatterheart wrote:I just got back from seeing this with a friend of mine. I gotta say...very rarely am I sickend by a movie. This movie sucked. Plain and simple. But, no shocker considering Uwe Bowl directed it. He also made a crapfest with "House Of The Dead" It seems he is trying to kill everyones braincells with his movies. Right out of the gates of this movie I knew it was gonna be lame....no plot...lousy acting all around. Tara Reid was amazingly dim...with a very shoddy preformance by Christian Slater. I think what capped it with me..a scene were these craptastic CG things, are attacking a building...a few agent guys show up with guns...and theres like a bullet rave. The lights go out...the camera starts spinning....I half expected to see the Cheat start hurling glowsticks. Save your cash guys...its not even worth a rental. Go watch paint try...Uwe Bowl should be banned from making films...forever. I know I have learned my lesson...I won't be seeing any more of his films. *goes to bed feeling ripped off that he saw this movie*

sorry to hear that... i wasn't planning on it really anyway, seeing the previews on tv it looked kinda cool, but than i read about it on netflix and two things really turned me off: 1. there was something in reviews or description for it that made me think it was religiously questionable, and 2. Stephen Dorf is in it, and let's just say that the one movie i've seen him in was one i have a bad enough history with to make me avoid him or whatever may remind me of that certain movie. so thanks for the heads up, sorry to hear it, i won't waste my time.