CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Basically, you post a joke and the next poster posts their rating about the Joke out of 10 (1 worst - 10 best) and then post their joke for the next poster to rate.

I will Begin:

There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was plagued by local kids who would sneak into his patch at night and steal watermelons.

After some careful thought he comes up with a clever idea that he thinks will scare the kids away for sure. So he makes up a sign and posts it in the field. The sign says, “Warning, one of the watermelons in this field has been poisoned.â€

I give it a 4. Sorry, that was kinda vindictive and meanspirited of them both. What's more, it didn't make me laugh...D:

There was a family who was on a road-trip. Soon, they all needed to go for a pitstop. The only pitstop was this mom and pop gas station in the middle of a forest in a town called "Purgatory."

They stopped at the gas station, and asked if they could use the bathroom. The man behind the counter nodded towards a sign that said,"paying customers only."

The mom said,"Okay, we'll buy 15 gallons."
"Where's the bathroom?" The daughter interrupted.
The man simply gave her a slow up and down, unsmiling.
"Ooookay." The girl found the bathroom herself, following her intuition.

So they took turns going to the bathroom. The daughter, who always needed the most time going to the bathroom went last. She was wearing a particularly uncomfortable pair of platform shoes and skinny jeans and had to take her time relieving herself in the cramped bathroom. She left the bathroom and saw no one from her family was left in the gas station, just the man.
"Quick!" he said.
"They've left without you!"
The girl paniced and, ready to take off running down the street, waved her arms wildly, screaming,"I'm here! I'm here!" she had run halfway out of the parking lot when the voice of her mom called to her.
"What are you doing?" Her mom demanded. The girl turned and saw the car still parked at the gas station.
"He told me you left me!" The girl screamed infuriated.
"We're right here, just come back to the car," her mother said calmly.
"But, that guy -." She looked through the window at the gas station and saw the man sharing a good laugh with himself.

"That guy is crazy." the daughter said. And they drove away from their stint in Purgatory, Colorado.

That's not a joke, but my favorite jokes have been done: Chuck Norris, Yo' Mama and If the log rolls over we all will die.

Someone can do what they will with this true story from me. Give it a -2 if you must.

8/10

How is 2+2 ever going to help in life?

Guy: *Knocks on door*
Person X: Hello
Guy: For a million dollars. What is 2+2=
Person X: Ummm 5
Guy: Oh thats incorrect, *Goes to neighbor house*
Neighbor: 4

Neighbor moves away and buys a house ten times bigger than Person X.

3/10

I didn't find it that funny.

Well, heres mine. It's military humor so it's going to be hit-or-miss with some people.

A couple of A-10's are escorting a C-130 Hercules and their pilots were chatting with the pilot of the transport to pass the time. Talk fell on the subject of relative merits of their respective aircraft with the fighter pilots holding their planes were better because of their maneuverability, weaponry and the like.

The C-130 pilot replied "Yeah? Well I can do a few things in this old girl that you'd only dream about." Naturally, he was challenged to demonstrate. "Just watch," he tells them.

The C-130 continues to fly straight and level, and after several minutes the Herk pilot returns to the air and says, "There! How was that?"

Not having seen anything, the fighter pilots say, "What are you talking about? What did you do?"

He replies, "Well, I got up, stretched my legs, got a cup of coffee, then went back and took a leak."

id give it a 6 out of 10
it was clever but not funny

Here's one that a friend of mine told me a long time ago

Once there were 3 men walking through the jungle. all of a sudden a few native Indians captured them and brought them to the tribe leader. The leader said "go out and find 10 of the same type of fruits!" later the first guy came back with 10 apples. the tribe leader made a deal and said that if he could fit all 10 of those apples up his ..... bottom..... without any expression he would be set free. if he couldn't do it or had a weird expression.... then off with his head... the guy got to the second apple then couldnt take it no more and got killed. then the second guy came in with 10 grapes. he had the same deal. he got to 9 grapes when all of a sudden he started laughing uncontrollably and got killed. up in heaven, the first guy asked the second guy "why'd you start laughing? you only needed one more to be set free!" the second guy replied "I saw the third guy coming in with pineapples"

9/10 heh heh.

Three men walk into a bar.
...
You'd think one of them would have seen it.
/rimshot

7/10 --and oldie, but a goodie.

Now demonstrating my great love for puns:

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

^ 4/10.

What did you call a guy who has no arms no legs and floats in a pool?

- Bob.
Badumpching.

6/10.

Warning: You have to have a... specific... sense of humor to find this one funny. Basically you're either going to find it hilarious or think it's simply horrible.


What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
the holocaust.

4/10 not funny

A military Cernal walks in to where all of his lutenists should be working but none of them were there one of them walks in and says:
" Sorry sir, I had a date and it ran a little late, I went to the bus stop but missed the bus i caught a taxi but it broke down I ran to a farm and got a horse but it died on the road and now I am here."
" Okay" The cernal said "your off the hook."
10 more came in and said:
" Sorry sir, I had a date and it ran a little late, I went to the bus stop but missed the bus i caught a taxi but it broke down I ran to a farm and got a horse but it died on the road and now I am here."
" okay" he let them off the hook because he let the others off the hook.
The last one came in and said:
" Sorry sir, I had a date and it ran a little late, I went to the bus stop but missed the bus i caught a taxi but it---"
" Let me guess it broke down"
" No sir but there was so many dead horses on the road it took a while to get around them."

7/10. it was kinda funny, but I think it would have had a greater effect told out loud.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the armadillo that it was possible!

akorecki1 wrote:not funny

I agree, but for some reason, everyone in my class thinks it's the funniest thing.

1/10 does not make sense

Child to dad:
" Daddy how much does it cost to get married?"
" I have no idea I am still paying for it."

XD 8/10

at a church they were confessing they're sins.

a big scary looking kid came up and said,"i am Tom, and i threw peanuts into the river"
the priest didnt really think that was a sin, but went on.

another big scary looking kid came up and said "i am Jacob, and i also threw peanuts into the river"
then the priest got a little confused.

then a little nerdy looking kid came up and said "hi, my name is peanuts"..

4/10

Did you hear about the girl who was surfing when a shark attacked and bit off her arm? She made a movie about her experience. It's called Swimming in Circles.

sorry the last one i rated was supposed to be for rylyyn's joke.

3/10

a boss of the a office said
"We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work."

Mike123123 wrote:XD 8/10

at a church they were confessing they're sins.

a big scary looking kid came up and said,"i am Tom, and i threw peanuts into the river"
the priest didnt really think that was a sin, but went on.

another big scary looking kid came up and said "i am Jacob, and i also threw peanuts into the river"
then the priest got a little confused.

then a little nerdy looking kid came up and said "hi, my name is peanuts"..

XD 8/10

i meant that to be for rylynn's post sorry >.<

Did you hear about the girl who was surfing when a shark attacked and bit off her arm? She made a movie about her experience. It's called Swimming in Circles.

3/10


three men were really drunk, they all got into a taxi.
the taxi driver thought to outsmart them and just turn on and off the engine since they were so drunk.
when he did this, these were the passenger's reactions.
1st drunk guy:
"thanks *hands the money for him and his two other friends*"
2nd drunk guy:
"thanks for the lift mr. taxi guy!"
the third drunk guy gout out and slapped him, he was surprised because they looked so drunk, the taxi driver didnt think they would notice.
then the third guy said:
"slow down next time!, you almost killed us!"

8/10 XD Nice one!

I'm not very good at jokes but hear I go...
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

Otaku Jordan (post: 1518229) wrote:4/10

Did you hear about the girl who was surfing when a shark attacked and bit off her arm? She made a movie about her experience. It's called Swimming in Circles.

Isn't there actually a movie about that? Think it was called "Sould Surfer" or something.


OT: I... I don't know what to say about that last joke. I mean, I get it, but still.

No joke to rate...

An Atheist was walking through the woods when a bear attacked him. Just as it was about to swipe its mighty paw, he screamed, "God, help me!"

Just then, a voice came though the clouds: "You've spent your life mocking me. Are you willing to admit that you believe now and become a Christian?"

The Atheist thought for a moment and said, "Well... why don't you just make the bear a Christian instead?"

"It shall be done."

Just then, time returned to normal and the bear stopped attacking the man. He moved back, bowed his head, and prayed, "Lord, thank you for the meal I'm about the receive."

*shrug* it's all i got right now XP Atheist humor...

3/10

1st man: I just got the new state of the art hearing aid. it cost me two thousand bucks.
2nd man: Really?? what kind is it?
1st man: about 12:30

9/10
HAHAH (Is very easily amused)

Um, Two muffins are in the oven.

Fisrt muffin - It sure is hot in here...
Second muffin - OMG A TALKING MUFFIN

6/10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zP0sqRMzkwo

0/10
THAT'S NOT A JOKE

How do you get an Elephant out of the theatre?
You can't, it's in their blood!

(My three year old brother made that one up)

4/10 wow kudos for yer brother
A man in paris used to sprinkle white powder on the streets every day. when asked what it was, he said "it keeps the elephants away". "But there are no elephants in paris"! the people would say...
"See?"
he would say
"It works"!

8/10 (Still easily amused)

Policeman - I have reason to suspect you have been drinking and driving.
Man - that's impossible, I never drink and drive.
Police - is that so?
Man - yeah, Golf and Alchohol don't mix.

7/10
Don't drink and drive.
you may hit a bump and spill your drink.
lolame.

2/10 - Thinking about drunk driving takes my amusement away.....

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

(had to find that one, lol)

9/10--Classic
Bob: I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.
Gary: Wait, you just lied. You said yesterday you wanted to be a politician.
Bob: See, I'm on my way to being a politician already.

9/10 BAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! Funny...

Here's one I came up with: (it's pretty dumb but I can't think of another right now)

Alcohol is like Polyjuice Potion: it tastes terrible, and turns you into someone you're not.

rocklobster (post: 1520467) wrote:9/10--Classic
Bob: I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.
Gary: Wait, you just lied. You said yesterday you wanted to be a politician.
Bob: See, I'm on my way to being a politician already.

10/10 NICE!


Ok...if we are doing jokes I have the ultimate.

A man walks into a resturant and orders a soup. He calls to the waiter. "There is something wrong with my soup." The waiter asks "Whats wrong with it?" The man replies. "Taste the soup." The waiter says. "No I won't taste the soup." The man again asks. "Taste the soup." The waiter again replies "No I can't taste the soup." The man asks one last time. "Taste the soup." The waiter finally replies. "Alright!Ill taste the soup!Where's the spoon?" Ahaaaaaaaaaa!