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Born Again

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 4:53 pm
by c.t.,girl
i'm finally FINALLY free from it all...i know everyone says that the past can't come after you...but...in my case...it was following me...very closely. about two years ago i had made some pretty bad decisions...i had made some bad decisions on the internet...my parents saw what i was doing...i tried to lie my way out of it...they knew i was lying...but they made it seem as if they believed me...for two years i dealt with all of that...i let it get to me...i almost let it kill me...if some of you remember. anyway...last night...i went to bed really early, 6PM or around there. as i slept i had a dream...and it wasn't like any other dream i had ever had.

~*~*~ The Dream ~*~*~


i dreamt that...well...at first i dreamt that i was like...a secret agent...lol i know...really lame...anyway...i was in that dream...then i dreamt i was at a friend's house. then i got upset with someone...so i went out side. then someone started looking at the sky...like on Azumanga Daioh Episode...either 8 or 9...anyway...i went out side and looked up...only to see missiles coming at the street...so i start running and the missile blows up. i'm being burned to death and all the while while i'm getting burned i keep saying, "Lord please...take me out of this...make the pain stop...please...hurry...it hurts Lord." and then everything goes completely white. the next thing i see is a room...it sorta looks like a room at what use to be (i don't even know if it's still around) the kid's discovery zone...and everyone that i knew when i was still alive was in the room with me...even my best friend, natasha(who's left God). anyway...i'm in there...and my friend Brian starts asking questions and i tell him, "why are you asking? we already know!" and he says, "christin, we're not in heaven yet...we're just in the waiting room (judgement room...but i didn't know that...i thought the room with the gate blocking it was the judgement room)" so i sit down...and start to remember my past...of what i did...so i run to my mom...bring her to the other side of the room so i could talk to her alone and tell her of what i had done. well...i start to...but then natasha comes at me just b4 i could tell my mom and she says, "you know what christin?...i stopped believing bcuz of the way you lived...bcuz of who you were...i didn't like what i saw...now look what you've done." and just as she was done those gates opened...and my mom was already passed them...dancing and sing with joy...she was in heaven...and i was left in that room...and i wasn't able to go in...so...i started shouting of the things i had done in hope that she would hear me and i would be able to go with her...i wasn't able to...i was left in that room...

that's when i woke up...i was crying so hard...i ran to my mother's room(she was just about to fall asleep when i came in there) i pulled her out of bed and brought her in the den...i told her of the dream...she then asked me, "what was it that you were going to tell me?" i told her...i told her that i did what i had tried to lie about...she told me, "you don't think i didn't already know? i'm not stupid...ever since then i've just been praying for you...that the Lord would take it away..." after that we just hugged for a long time...after that...i told her of how it almost killed me...i showed her my wrists...she told me, "you think you're the only one that's done that?" that's when she showed me her scars...i never knew how alike me and my mom really are...

so now i can finally say it...



















I'M FREE! :dance:

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:08 pm
by AngelSakura
Oh, Chris! *hug* I'm so happy for you! That's beautiful!

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:13 pm
by Joshua Christopher
My, that's great to hear that you're free now!

:hug:

God bless.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:18 pm
by true_noir_chloe
What a blessing! You finally talked to your mom. ~_^ Keep on growing in the Lord and your mom will help you a ton, Chris. She really has been there and you will be blessed. *HUG* (I am crying, I am so happy for you)

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:36 pm
by c.t.,girl
awww thanks chloe! ^___^ me and my mom were crying too! and i really feel now like i really can go to her for anything...i should have listened to you in the first place...but i was scared...now...i don't have to worry about anything ever! i'm so happy!!! and thanks guys!!! ^_____^

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:48 pm
by CreatureArt
Praise God! That is so awesome. I'm so happy for you, C.T.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 6:59 pm
by Syreth
That's so awesome to hear that you and your Mom were reconciled. I remember my mother and I went at it for a long time when I was deep in the bowels of sin and the reconciliation is sweet and now I love my mom so much. Praise the Lord for showing you the need through that dream and that you had the faith to talk to her about it.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 7:06 pm
by c.t.,girl
lol i was freaked out so much by that dream that i felt like i had no choice or else i'd have gone nuts...

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:17 pm
by K. Ayato
Good job, Chris. I'm happy for you. Keep getting closer to your mom. :)

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:30 pm
by c.t.,girl
yes...i shall try to stay close...although it's sorta hard for me...but...i shall give it my best shot! (^___^)v

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:30 pm
by Sakura15
*wipes tears from eyes*

That's so Awesome!! Im happy for you!! ^^

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:32 pm
by c.t.,girl
awww i'm making ppl cry...;-;

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:35 pm
by Sakura15
[quote="c.t.,girl"]awww i'm making ppl cry...]

Its a good thing ^^

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:37 pm
by c.t.,girl
^__^ okies good!

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:52 pm
by Riku777
W007ages for CHRIS!!! :glomp: *huggles chris* Just remember don't TRY to stay pure, BE pure, always.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:57 pm
by c.t.,girl
u_u ain't that the truth! ^____^

PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 2:12 am
by Roy Mustang
:hug:

I'm give that you let it go. Your friends care about you and you just remember that. When you need feel that you maybe alone, your not, because you have family and friends that care about you.


And mom's are the greatest, aren't they!


Wingzero22

PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 8:37 am
by jazz
AHH!! yay!!

i'm so glad for you chris!!! you've really been on my heart lately. *hug* i'm so excited about this! Praise God!!

PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 4:56 pm
by K. Ayato
Jazz, that avatar is hilarious! Reminds me of an old friend's "Don't Mess with Texas!" cartoon avatar.

PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 8:19 pm
by Yumie
Congratulations, girl! I know what it feels like to get something off your chest after a long time, the wonderful relief. Whether it's something big or small, it always grows when you keep it to yourself. I'm glad that God did what he did in giving you that dream to lead you to a point where you weren't afraid to talk to her anymore. He's too cool, huh?

PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 9:13 pm
by c.t.,girl
^__^ indeed He is. and thank you

PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 2:16 pm
by Danyasaur
*runs in a tackle glomps Chrissy* X3 that's so awesome! I'm so happy! ^_^ God is so awesome.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 3:14 pm
by c.t.,girl
^________^ *ish glompled*

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 1:00 pm
by Swordguy
well it is beena while sence i ahve been in this tread...which is a shame...you miss a lot of what God is doing that way, i had a simular exsperance...although God was a bit more direct...i was on a mission trip...and durring a personal prayer time i was talking to HIm...adn HE said"Micah i want to use you, but i can't not until you get this off your cheast, and tell your mom." well to sa the least as soon as i got home i told my mom a sin of mine that i had wrestaled with for about two years...but that was the last step of the major strugle..a.dn i thank GOd for that. Needless to say God did keep HIs word and has alowed me to grow in Him and has used me a few times...but i am happy for you chris

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 11:50 pm
by c.t.,girl
^___^ thanks micah! and i'm happy for you too! hehe isn't He awesome?! \^_^/

PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:09 am
by TrigunX89
*eyes tear up* I am so happy to hear that, ct! I guess I'm a little late, but I never saw this thread before. I just want to say how happy I am for you! w00t w00t!

PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:15 am
by c.t.,girl
XDD thank you very much! any time is better than no time, i guess. lol!