The Necklace
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 6:23 pm
Sounds like a cheesy chick film doesn't it? Instead, I promise you the tale of one of the most important days in my life, and a definate moment of faith second only to my conversion.
Because I had a brush with death today. Two, to be precise.
As many of you know, I was invited to speak at Oni-Con this weekend. To my great delight, a member from Austin drove 2 and a half hours to be there and hear me speak. Daniel and I (he can reveal his screename if he so chooses, but it's easier to refer to him like this) ended up hanging out all weekend, eating together and going to various places around Houston. After the panel this morning, we decided to head out towards the Galleria, a big mall in houston with an ice rink. It was pouring down rain in droves, but I was fairly cautious.
I began to lose control of my car. It just sort of happened--I didn't do anything brave or stupid, but I felt my car begin to weave wildly. In my mind, I was hearing my father tell me I need new tires. Then I'm spinning, looking at the freeway and the cars coming at me, spinning in a way that makes you sick and holding the brakes down and steering with the spin. I didn't even have time to breathe a prayer--it was over in seconds. My car was halfway onto the feeder road, half onto a median, and we had spun across 3 lanes of traffic within inches of the guard rail. Shaken, we asked if the other was ok. I had to turn my car off, then back on again, and move to a parking lot nearby. Daniel got out and checked the car--grass was sticking out everywhere. I couldn't help but stare at the freeway, shocked and sick to my stomach at what had just happened to me. And suddenly, I knew without a doubt that if God had not been with me, I would have died. Not only that, I could have killed Daniel too. I began to shake and cry, stress and shock compounding on the other. When we got into the car again, we prayed a heartfelt, emotional thanksgiving for sparing our lives. My car was undamaged, though we checked it throughout the day for oil leaks. I still remember Daniel looking under my hood in the rain, making sure everything was ok since I knew nothing about cars. We tried to make light of it, tried to talk about what it meant spiritually, and then eventually tried to forget about it. We hung out at Barnes and Noble--I writing my english paper, he studying Kant over frappucinos. We saw Friday Night Lights and enjoyed a good movie about a sport we loved and the kind of Texas towns we grew up in. I was driving back to the hotel and hit a lot of traffic. I slowed my car to a cautious stop, when WHAM! From behind I felt a thud. In that moment, I wanted to sob. Just when I thought my day, week, month, life couldn't get any worse---now I had been rear ended. I had just finished telling Daniel how I couldn't afford to get into a wreck because of insurance rates, and that even if I did I needed my car desperately--no one is around to take me to school or work, so I couldn't afford to have my car in the shop for a week. With tears biting my eyes, we pulled over to the shoulder and got out. It wasn't bad--the frame wasn't bent, but great gashes of white stuck out with smears of a lighter green from the other car. I looked onto the freeway, the other driver looked back at me from a beat up Toyota. I looked at the license plates, and motioned for him to come over to swap insurance and information. Instead he panicked and drove off. Furious and frustrated, I scribbled down the license plates and began to cry. It just wasn't fair! What had I done to deserve the hellish week I had lived through, only to be topped by two near deadly wrecks. In the kind of traffic I was in, had that car behind me been going much faster we would have sandwiched between two cars very easily, if not more.
Never in my life have I been so shaken up, and I cried. Bless his heart, Daniel would pat my shoulder and try to make me feel better about things, sharing hurts from his own life. The rest of the way, we talked about what this meant and how things will always work out for the good even when we can't see them.
I pulled into his hotel, and he asked me to park. "I've got something for you." I expected a big bear hug, and indeed I got a very warm one, but he had something else too. Earlier at the con I had commented on his beautiful beaded necklace, and how much I liked it. He now held that grayish-blue and khaki necklace in his hand. "Here, this is for you."
Of course I protested, naturally. "Oh no, I couldn't" and so forth. But eventually, I couldn't help but take it. We had been through so much together in the 2 days we had spent together, and here he was offering me his shoulder whenever he needed it. After a fairly reluctant goodbye, I got in my car and exhaled. I was a little scared to drive home--nightfall, and an hour's drive south when I had already driven 6 hours straight this weekend. But I had his necklace in my hand, and quietly praying, I put it around my rear view mirror. And there it will stay, to remind me of God's undeniable existance, hand in my life, His great power and even greater love for me. It will be my constant reminder that even when I think things cannot get much worse, when I don't understand why life is the way it is, that God is in control and nothing is big enough to interfere with His plan for me.
Because I had a brush with death today. Two, to be precise.
As many of you know, I was invited to speak at Oni-Con this weekend. To my great delight, a member from Austin drove 2 and a half hours to be there and hear me speak. Daniel and I (he can reveal his screename if he so chooses, but it's easier to refer to him like this) ended up hanging out all weekend, eating together and going to various places around Houston. After the panel this morning, we decided to head out towards the Galleria, a big mall in houston with an ice rink. It was pouring down rain in droves, but I was fairly cautious.
I began to lose control of my car. It just sort of happened--I didn't do anything brave or stupid, but I felt my car begin to weave wildly. In my mind, I was hearing my father tell me I need new tires. Then I'm spinning, looking at the freeway and the cars coming at me, spinning in a way that makes you sick and holding the brakes down and steering with the spin. I didn't even have time to breathe a prayer--it was over in seconds. My car was halfway onto the feeder road, half onto a median, and we had spun across 3 lanes of traffic within inches of the guard rail. Shaken, we asked if the other was ok. I had to turn my car off, then back on again, and move to a parking lot nearby. Daniel got out and checked the car--grass was sticking out everywhere. I couldn't help but stare at the freeway, shocked and sick to my stomach at what had just happened to me. And suddenly, I knew without a doubt that if God had not been with me, I would have died. Not only that, I could have killed Daniel too. I began to shake and cry, stress and shock compounding on the other. When we got into the car again, we prayed a heartfelt, emotional thanksgiving for sparing our lives. My car was undamaged, though we checked it throughout the day for oil leaks. I still remember Daniel looking under my hood in the rain, making sure everything was ok since I knew nothing about cars. We tried to make light of it, tried to talk about what it meant spiritually, and then eventually tried to forget about it. We hung out at Barnes and Noble--I writing my english paper, he studying Kant over frappucinos. We saw Friday Night Lights and enjoyed a good movie about a sport we loved and the kind of Texas towns we grew up in. I was driving back to the hotel and hit a lot of traffic. I slowed my car to a cautious stop, when WHAM! From behind I felt a thud. In that moment, I wanted to sob. Just when I thought my day, week, month, life couldn't get any worse---now I had been rear ended. I had just finished telling Daniel how I couldn't afford to get into a wreck because of insurance rates, and that even if I did I needed my car desperately--no one is around to take me to school or work, so I couldn't afford to have my car in the shop for a week. With tears biting my eyes, we pulled over to the shoulder and got out. It wasn't bad--the frame wasn't bent, but great gashes of white stuck out with smears of a lighter green from the other car. I looked onto the freeway, the other driver looked back at me from a beat up Toyota. I looked at the license plates, and motioned for him to come over to swap insurance and information. Instead he panicked and drove off. Furious and frustrated, I scribbled down the license plates and began to cry. It just wasn't fair! What had I done to deserve the hellish week I had lived through, only to be topped by two near deadly wrecks. In the kind of traffic I was in, had that car behind me been going much faster we would have sandwiched between two cars very easily, if not more.
Never in my life have I been so shaken up, and I cried. Bless his heart, Daniel would pat my shoulder and try to make me feel better about things, sharing hurts from his own life. The rest of the way, we talked about what this meant and how things will always work out for the good even when we can't see them.
I pulled into his hotel, and he asked me to park. "I've got something for you." I expected a big bear hug, and indeed I got a very warm one, but he had something else too. Earlier at the con I had commented on his beautiful beaded necklace, and how much I liked it. He now held that grayish-blue and khaki necklace in his hand. "Here, this is for you."
Of course I protested, naturally. "Oh no, I couldn't" and so forth. But eventually, I couldn't help but take it. We had been through so much together in the 2 days we had spent together, and here he was offering me his shoulder whenever he needed it. After a fairly reluctant goodbye, I got in my car and exhaled. I was a little scared to drive home--nightfall, and an hour's drive south when I had already driven 6 hours straight this weekend. But I had his necklace in my hand, and quietly praying, I put it around my rear view mirror. And there it will stay, to remind me of God's undeniable existance, hand in my life, His great power and even greater love for me. It will be my constant reminder that even when I think things cannot get much worse, when I don't understand why life is the way it is, that God is in control and nothing is big enough to interfere with His plan for me.
I am glad we have a God who loves us for who we are and is more than willing to save our sorry butts eternally and 'here and now'. God Bless.