CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

much like everyone else, I don't play music but I do write lyrics for say a song.

Here's one that I made recently and needs a second verse and stuff like that

"Brandished Swords is a Broken Promise"

Relieving, retaliating
I'm deaf to what you say
Trembeling, terifying
I'm paranoid to what I see.

My hand is broken
as well as my body
I'm laying face down in the mud
Will yuo come recieve me?

Im dead to the wise
Im dead to you
Im dead to society
I'm dead to joy
And I am shunned by you

Chorus
Broken Swords is a Broken Promise, Broken Swords is a Broken Promise, Broken Swords is a Broken Promise, Broken Swords is a Broken Promise

Thats all I have now

I have also made a song but only kep the chorus. It's fairly good and my friends (future) band may use this song:

"The Wayside"

Chorus
My heart and
My mind are going
by the wayside.
So long,
my friends
I'm going off the deep end
Don't watch me
Don't follow me
My death is my own
I went by the wayside.

The breaks in the sentance such as:
My heart and
My mind are going
by the wayside.

are to be sung like it's actually a new sentance

so it's like my heart and.....my mind are....going by the way side

and

So long.....my friends

what do you guys think of those 2 "songs"