Xlyiss (3rd revision)
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2004 10:45 pm
This is a science fiction story. I have an earlier version of it on my website, and I've posted it here before, in its second edition. After getting further critiquing from my writer's club, I revised it for a third, and I hope to be final, time.
I redid some of the narration in it, put it in conversation... so I have the story told more in conversation this time than I did before. I also added a few things...
I'd really love feedback on this, what people think is good, what people think is bad... nitpicks welcomed... I want to enter this story in a nationwide writing contest (that it probably won't even place in, but I might as well try). Therefore, I want it to be the best it can be... really, really good.
Small warnings... mild violence and one mild "bad" word when a character really meant it.
"Xlyiss", 3rd edition
The last version of the story, for anyone who wants to compare this edition to that to see improvments and changes, is on my "Higher Rhlem" website under short stories.
I redid some of the narration in it, put it in conversation... so I have the story told more in conversation this time than I did before. I also added a few things...
I'd really love feedback on this, what people think is good, what people think is bad... nitpicks welcomed... I want to enter this story in a nationwide writing contest (that it probably won't even place in, but I might as well try). Therefore, I want it to be the best it can be... really, really good.
Small warnings... mild violence and one mild "bad" word when a character really meant it.
"Xlyiss", 3rd edition
The last version of the story, for anyone who wants to compare this edition to that to see improvments and changes, is on my "Higher Rhlem" website under short stories.