I may not post in the thread again, as it is mainly for this short story that is too long for the other.
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My grandfather told stories. Any chace we got, us grandkids would gather around and beg him to tell us one. Old ham that he was, this would go on for 10 minutes or more, before he would admit to thinking about consenting.
Once he did, though, we would "settle down like the good little boys and girls" we were, and wait for him to commence. Naturally, he couldn't start without some kind of candy and a drink. He preferred cream soda.
When his "assistant" returned with the required items, he would almost be ready to start his tales of, alternately; "Life in the Better Days;" "Exploits of My Early Existence;" or, and these were my favorites, "Tales Truthfully Told." The final missing thing was our word that we would not interrupt "on pain of a slow and excrutiating death, involving hot glue and wood chips"
I remember the first (and only) time that I asked my mom about that. She freaked like you wouldn't believe, sending me into the other room and calling him.
I didn't develop the habit of listening at dors until my early teens, but my mom was ticked, so I could hear her quite well.
"What in the world were you thinking? Think of the irreparable harm... Who's going to pay for the counseling?"
He said something.
"You ...rotten..."
Luckily, that last was said in the midst of a fit of laughter, or I doubt that I would have heard another story
When he told his "tales of adventure, derring-do on the high seas, and unusual courage," he always took center stage. As I said, I especially liked his "Tales Truthfully Told," as they were the most fantastic of all, involving transfomations and witches brew, secret societies and wartime heroes.
"That reminds me of the time when I was captured by Nazi's during WWII...," knowing we knew full well that he wasn't born til forty years afterwards. "There I was, in the middle of a room filled by followers of the Third Reich, about to be divested of my weapons. Knowing that if I had even just one of my knives, I could make good my comrades escape, in addition to my own, I proposed a diversion.
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sorry about this, but I have to leave for work in five minutes. I'll post the rest when I get back.