They Play

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They Play

Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sun Apr 03, 2005 7:25 pm

They Play

They awaken
They cry
They eat
They giggle
They play

They awaken
They run
They shout
They laugh
They play

They awaken
They chat
They party
They drink
They play

They awaken
They threaten
They terrorize
They kill
They play
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Postby Magekind » Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:00 pm

Now that is an interesting peice. I actually like the point given by it.
Take it like you gave it; what else matters in the end? To be honest, it's all a one-shot test; that leaves plenty of places to go wrong, but how will you ever know? There's a pointer, I will admit. Turn it on, listen to it, feel it burn.

At-Close Paren-Right inclusive bracket-Tilde. Thanks to CAA mods. Taken from Jaden Mental's sig.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:45 pm

thanks ^^
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:34 am

This might make a cute little children's book if it wasn't for the terrorizing and killing at the end. :lol:

It was pretty good. :thumb:

On another note, MSP, you should start ONE thread for all your poetry. I noticed that you started a new thread for each and every one of your poems. I think you would get a better response if you do what some of the other poets (Icarus, Rachel, Joan of Arc) do and have your own poetry thread. Just a thought. ~_^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Aka-chan » Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:40 am

Oh wow. That's really cool! I love the simplicity and yet the progression. I'm not a fan of poetry, but this is awesome, MSP! (Never thought of you as a poet... ^_~)
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:35 pm

true_noir_chloe wrote:On another note, MSP, you should start ONE thread for all your poetry.



ooooooohhhhhhhhh okay
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Postby Godly Paladin » Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:55 pm

Sounds like a Tamagotchi to me...

...but then again, that's just me, ya know.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Fri Apr 08, 2005 10:50 am

hahahaha thats funny G_P
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Postby chibiphonebooth » Fri Apr 08, 2005 2:03 pm

wow, ryan i <3 it its so cool! ^_^
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Postby Scribs » Fri Apr 08, 2005 5:56 pm

They Awoke
They CAAed
They Congratulated Mr. Smartypants
They Left
They Played

Good job
"I concluded from the begining that this would be the end; and I am right, for it is not half over."
-Sir Boyle Roche
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Postby Godly Paladin » Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:09 pm

I think Smartypants is creating a new form of poetry! We'll call it...

SMARTY-KU!!!

Even better than haiku!
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Postby Ingemar » Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:15 pm

Image

ROOOOOOWRRR! Let me try!

They mew
They purr
They sleep
They pounce
They make Ingemar's bed smell of ammonia
They play

That would have been great, Mr. Stupid Pants, if only you were a lady. MRRROWWR!


Tomkyou, this is hardly the time or the place! Good job MSP. It's a good compromise between free and blank verse. It isn't as constrained as blank verse, but it has good structure and unity unlike free verse. You get a gold star.
Job 7:16

I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are but a breath.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Wed Apr 13, 2005 5:29 pm

yaaayyy ^_^
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Postby Godly Paladin » Fri Apr 15, 2005 1:39 pm

Let the Smarty-ku crafting commence!
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Postby Kawaiikneko » Fri Apr 15, 2005 2:23 pm

That was great! I loved how it was so simple but had such a profound meaning.
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