Atria35 (post: 1466705) wrote:Being spanked as a kid made me more resentful towards my parents. When others gave punishment (such as my aunt who babysat us), I would get the idea that what I did was wrong, but if it was my parents, I hated them more.
Sorry if someone has already said this but... Atria, I have to say, that when I was little I hated my mom and dad for spanking me. Why? Because, they never explained what I did was wrong. They just spanked me and told me to think about it! Think about what, exactly? They never told me what I had done. I didn't know.
See, that's the thing, people expect kids to know that when they do something its bad, lets not forget we adults/teenagers have lived a bit longer than a 4 to 11 year old, so we know better. Which is why we have to teach the kids that is wrong. Now, spanking is fine when handled correctly. My mom spanked me with a wooden spoon. I refuse to do that to my children because, when she did it...all I wanted to do was to be even more bad than I already had been, even though I didn't know what I had done! It made me hateful and furious. I. Was. Not. Sorry. But my parent's didn't know that. Which is possibly why I ended up being such an angry child.
You have GOT to show that child why its wrong, and explain it to them THEY UNDERSTAND when you explain as best as you can. I don't have to punish the kids I babysit, I tell them sternly that its wrong and surprise, surprise! They listen.
Anyway, I feel rather strongly about paddling children, I think disciplining them when necessary is fine, but paddling them is just harsh. A firm spanking and a time-out and an explanation of why what they did was wrong really does wonders.