CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

If you saw my last prayer post you can probably guess what this request is for if not I will fill you in. my sister has gone out of country for a missions trip and I am extremely depressed about her absence it's only been a week but it's very, very different without her being here my depression has gotten to the point that I am cutting and have suicidal thoughts I feel alone and as if God has forsaken me even though the bible says he won't I feel as if I was in a lush forest and he just ran off leaving me alone and lost and nothing anyone does or says is helping just making it worse I feel like she wouldn't have left if I had a chance to say something to change her mind but I didn't want to interfere with His plans I can't even focus on my studies because the sadness of her absence is interfering with my ability to focus during my classes I can't even manage to focus on the subjects that I like I have lost the will to do anything except express my feelings with my brothers and sisters in Christ even though it seems to do very little and possibly nothing to reverse my thoughts and emotions I hope your prayers will prove my wrong for the sake of the people around me and myself prayer is extremely, extremely appreciated thanks!

I will be praying. Please get help for your cutting and suicidal thoughts. Talk to someone; a school counselor or trusted relative... There's a link in my signature, To Write Love on Her Arms, which is an organization that helps with said issues. I hope you'll check it out, look around, and maybe take some solace from Renee's story.

As far as the grief goes from the loss of your sister (as she's on this mission trip) I'll be praying for your adjustment in the coming days, and peace in knowing that God has not left you, and He loves you even in your fear and doubt. Psalm 42 is a comfort to me in times of hardship... You're not alone in this.

^ What Okami said.

It's not normal to be affected this much by something like this, and you need to get help ASAP.

Praying!

I don't mean to marginalize your suffering or anything, but I would like for you to attempt to take a step back and take an inventory of what is going on here. Your sister has left on a voluntary missions trip and through this you have spiraled into depression whereby you've started self-injury. Not only is this not healthy for you in your current state, but I'd venture to say that your relationship with your sister probably wasn't healthy in a normal sense as well as it seems there may have been a very large amount of dependence on her on your part (or co-dependence if she is also having massive depressive issues being separated from you).

As Atria and Okami said, you need to get help and you need to get help now. Okami made some very good suggestions and linked to a very good resource that you can use. It is vitally important that you cut this off at the pass now before it becomes as huge part of your life and central to who you are. Life is going to continue to move forward, things are going to keep changing. Your sister will probably eventually get married and move away and have her own job, and the same goes for you. You can't allow the change to suffocate you because things WILL NOT remain the same forever and to try to make them stay that way is to face impossibility.