CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I really lack self esteem and have a lousy view of myself sometimes. Even though I'm 20 and in community college I still worry about kid things like fitting in to the point were I will suspect people dislike my even when theres no reason to assume that. I feel I still don't completely fit in with the people I hang out with because I can't afford any of their computer stuff, don't listen to the same stuff they listen to and don't get their inside jokes. I some times feel so awkward I can imagine them thinking "Whys he here again, won't he just go away?" Sometimes I feel like I'm just trying to get the day over with to hurry and get to the next. Some times I feel like I'm not good enough for other people, not cool enough, un-relatable. What should I do?

Sometimes what helps me is thinking "Do I randomly judge people? No, then why would they" I don't know, that really helps me. I'm younger then you though lol and have really bad self esteem too, but the ideas of others judgeing me kinda went away when i think about it that way. i will be praying reading the bible an focusing on God always helps me too.

Praying! Believe it or not, worrying about fitting in will never go away- it's not a kid thing. It is supposed to lessen as you grow older, as you realize that everyone is an individual, and no one will ever perfectly fit in.

If you're trying to get in with people who've known eachother for a while, it will take time, but you'll make your own in-jokes, and you might end up broadening their horizons! And vice-versa. It just takes time.