Blah Blah Blah Blah
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:31 am
I've been thinking about posting here for the last couple of months, but every time I want to I end up not doing it, mostly because I feel like I'm being selfish, seeking attention, weak, unstable, a loser, etc. etc. etc... So anyway, here goes:
I'm 31 years old. I've never truely been "passionate" about anything. I can't remember when last in my life I woke up one morning and was like "YES!!!" I feel like I've just been sliding through my life with no clear goal in sight. I went to school, where the only thing I managed to exceed at was a high school play one year. Then went to college (where I didn't end up studying what I wanted because my parents told me not to) and didn't exceed at anything there. Then, 8 years ago, I started working. I've had 5 jobs up to date. I can't really say I stood out in any of them there (there have been moments where I have been praised though, which felt good). Currently I've been in this job for 2 years (started in April of 2009). Things went ok during the first year (even though some days were HECTICLY STRESSFULL), but this last year things have just been, "less than satisfactory". Currently I just care about making it through the day and getting home, and even then there isn't really anything to look forward to. It just feels like my life is on hold, like it's one big Groundhog Day movie where it's just the same routine every, single day.
I've just lost interest in typing this by the way. I was going go on and mention my lack of a proper social life, not ever having a long-term relationship in my life so far, my mom being majorly depressed at home because my dad isn't sending her financial support and she'll have to sell the house we're living in and moving away, causing me to go off living on my own, how I have no future goals or aspirations at this moment in my life (never really had any), how I feel that everything will always be like this... but I won't. And yes, I have tried prayer, medication, therapy... I just don't know.
I'm 31 years old. I've never truely been "passionate" about anything. I can't remember when last in my life I woke up one morning and was like "YES!!!" I feel like I've just been sliding through my life with no clear goal in sight. I went to school, where the only thing I managed to exceed at was a high school play one year. Then went to college (where I didn't end up studying what I wanted because my parents told me not to) and didn't exceed at anything there. Then, 8 years ago, I started working. I've had 5 jobs up to date. I can't really say I stood out in any of them there (there have been moments where I have been praised though, which felt good). Currently I've been in this job for 2 years (started in April of 2009). Things went ok during the first year (even though some days were HECTICLY STRESSFULL), but this last year things have just been, "less than satisfactory". Currently I just care about making it through the day and getting home, and even then there isn't really anything to look forward to. It just feels like my life is on hold, like it's one big Groundhog Day movie where it's just the same routine every, single day.
I've just lost interest in typing this by the way. I was going go on and mention my lack of a proper social life, not ever having a long-term relationship in my life so far, my mom being majorly depressed at home because my dad isn't sending her financial support and she'll have to sell the house we're living in and moving away, causing me to go off living on my own, how I have no future goals or aspirations at this moment in my life (never really had any), how I feel that everything will always be like this... but I won't. And yes, I have tried prayer, medication, therapy... I just don't know.