CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I had a complete breakdown a couple days ago, that had been building up for a while. We wanted me to see the best psychiatrist, but that's probably not gonna happen. So we'll probably just go to the hospital and try to get an evaluation there. I might check into the psych ward. And then I'll try to find a good church, or support groups, or something. Why is this a prayer request? Because people in this town, they always think I'm weird and a freak, or they basically abandon me as soon as I open up. This is a prayer request because I'm freakin terrified of trying to meet new people, online or offline, and I'm trying to get through that and meet people anyway, but I'm just really scared. People in my town don't seem to like me, so for a while it's felt like I would have better chances making friends online. So basically the prayer is that finding friends and people will work out somehow, despite the odds. Psych wards kinda scare me. My sister was in one for a while, so I feel like I'm following the family tradition. Just really scared nothing will work out, since there's a long history of people disliking me and leaving me. So please pray things will work out, I'm really scared.

And this part isn't really a prayer request, but it is really weird. I just found out from my dad, who I haven't seen in two years, that my sister, who was in a psych ward and I haven't seen or around five years, is pregnant. I'm gonna be an uncle. That's weird enough, but I'm gonna be an uncle because of a person I haven't seen in five years.

If anyone here has been like, an inpatient in a psych ward, is it usually expensive? I'm looking at the hospital website, now I'm wondering if I can afford it.

Speaking as someone with experience working in one (sort of), your insurance will make it pretty easy, I should think.
Also, I applaud you for making this decision. It's likely among the best things you could do for yourself. I've seen patients who were really messed up when they were admitted, and had a much more positive outlook when they were discharged.

I hope you're right. I've been super depressed and on the verge of tears all day basically cause I'm scared and feel lonely and hopeless. If doing this will change me, I hope more people stay with me.

*hugs* Good Job Aedin! I'll Be praying!
I read this article by a suicidal girl who went to a phsyc ward place, and It really helped her, so hopefully It'll help you too.

What scares me the most, is whether or not people I try to make friends with will still like, avoid me or leave. My biggest fear is being alone, and I know God's with us always and all that, but it's not really the same as having someone you can physically contact or hang out with and know they care.

Also, kinda surprised noone's responded to this part (though with only two responses, not surprising) apparently I have a niece.

Aedin,
You've made a great decision. I have not yet been a patient in a psych ward, but know several people who have. They will teach you coping skills to help you manage and stay on top of your depression and will also help find the root of what is causing these feelings.
I'll definitely keep praying for you as you pursue healing and wholeness. And also for your niece.

Praying for you dude! Like always. =) I'm glad you're making these choices and moving forward. Good for you. keep it up. We're ALL here suporting you.

Praying for you man, I hope everything turns out okey.

Btw, you didn't answer my PM about gaming, was my taste in games that bad? *not srs*

Anyway I really hope these people will be there to help you, and remember that even if people think that your a freak God will never think that way.
(Neither will I for that matter)

I hope you're right. I'm just scared I'll do this, and nothing will change. That I'll still have the same problems with people and friends and all that.

MrKrillz0r (post: 1446305) wrote:Praying for you man, I hope everything turns out okey.

Btw, you didn't answer my PM about gaming, was my taste in games that bad? *not srs*

Anyway I really hope these people will be there to help you, and remember that even if people think that your a freak God will never think that way.
(Neither will I for that matter)

Lol, sorry man, I really, really suck at responding to PMs and emails.

Hopefully maybe this'll help me heal and restore my relationship with God. I'd really like to make some close friends somehow too.

Good luck. Hope it helps you find some answers.

I'm still praying for you, you can count on that. Hope everything will turn out all right. Best of luck.

I feel like I'm going insane and it won't stop. None of my meds help anymore.

Medicine is not the solution to mental problems. Medicine helps, but ultimately unlike physical diseases, medicine alone cannot help.

A study was done of people with depression. The people were split into three groups. One group received counseling, the second received meds, and the third received both meds AND counseling, with of course a control group of people with neither meds nor counseling.

The study showed that the group who received only meds did not show much, if any improvement over those who received nothing. The people who received meds AND counseling showed an improvement basically equal to those who received only counseling.

The study concluded that counseling is the key to battling mental illness. Meds can help, but ultimately only effective if combined with counseling. Meds on their own do not significantly improve mental illness.

That's what scares me. I've seen counselors for a while. They didn't really help. I kinda feel like this was covered in one of my other topics lol. Been to counselors, they don't help. Meds aren't helping anymore. I can't help but wonder if I'm totally screwed and if anything is gonna get better.

Aedin, I'm so proud of you! You're being so so brave to do this! Meanwhile, in answer to your question, I did have a friend who had to go into a pysch ward for a few months because she was suicidel. I can't be sure because it was a long time ago, but I don't think it cost her family much. I'll be praying for you. Sorry for kind of having a break down on you by the way...I can't have been helping your self-eestem. Gosh...I stink at spelling. But, it's to late for me to care.

That's what scares me. I've seen counselors for a while. They didn't really help. I kinda feel like this was covered in one of my other topics lol. Been to counselors, they don't help. Meds aren't helping anymore. I can't help but wonder if I'm totally screwed and if anything is gonna get better.

I'm calming down, so I can share some of why this is happening. I've had problems with feeling alone and meaningless, my whole life. And lately, I've completely lost my sense of self. And I feel this huge distance from God. I don't know how to explain what I mean. It all started with my job. I got my job, and over time talked to my coworkers some. There's this girl there, who isn't Christian. The Christian part doesn't really matter right now. But I remember when I met her, and first started talking to her, I kept thinking that I'd never like, really be into her. I'm still not into her that way, but for some reason she's important to me. It's really hard to sort out my feelings. It's like having a crush on her, except without having the actual crush. I feel protective of her, we're friends, we talk at work a lot, she's hugged me a few times, all that stuff. And it's all just so weird.

I don't really have a desire to go out with her, but if she wwanted to go out with me, I'd say yes. Like I said, it's like having a crush, without actually having a crush. That's hard enough to sort out by itself. But then there's all the other stuff, like feeling protective of her, and wanting to know her better, and be meaningful to her. It's hard to sort out the feelings out.

And then part of the reason I feel like I've lost my sense of self (and part of why my coworker is part of this conversation) is I had all these like, qualities I knew I wanted, or didn't want, in a girl. She smokes, I think she drinks, she has a past (I won't go into detail on that one, but people can figure out what I mean), she's not really Christian, and I'm not sure yet if we really share any hobbies. All of those things, in any other girl, would immediately put me off them. But yet with her there's this whole "crush without a crush" thing and I really don't understand it.

And this is where it gets worse. I don't really have any in-person friends, she's the only one. And she has this boyfriend she loves (she thinks he's the one, so you know how much he means to her) and I'm pretty sure she has tons of friends. Which all is fine, it doesn't make me dislike her, and the boyfriend doesn't matter since I don't want to date her anyway. The problem comes in, she seems so similar to me, yet so different. And so there's all the weird feelings I can't explain, but also knowing about her boyfriend, and having her talk about him, it kinda makes me feel like a loser. Both because I wish I was more important to her than I probably am, and also because girls don't usually like guys like me. Kinda, makes me feel inadequate, meaningless. And she has all these other friends, I don't really see how like, I could really mean anything to her. It's kindof intimidating, to be honest. Intimidated by the fact she has so many friends, and I'm pretty sure I'm pretty low on the totem pole concerning how much I mean to her. Meanwhile, on the other side, she's my only in-person friend, and somehow, for some reason, it's really easy to talk to her, we get along so well, and she helps me feel better about everything.

So basically, to put it simply, I have confusing "crush-but-not-crush" feelings about (or for) a girl who is important to me, and I feel kinda close to, and would like to be closer to, who I'm really not sure whether or not I Mean anything to. And the whole situation is just kinda making me feel inadequate and meaningless, alone, and unsure about what I want.

TopazRaven (post: 1446362) wrote:Aedin, I'm so proud of you! You're being so so brave to do this! Meanwhile, in answer to your question, I did have a friend who had to go into a pysch ward for a few months because she was suicidel. I can't be sure because it was a long time ago, but I don't think it cost her family much. I'll be praying for you. Sorry for kind of having a break down on you by the way...I can't have been helping your self-eestem. Gosh...I stink at spelling. But, it's to late for me to care.

You're ok, lately I've been having a much harder time than normal. Things aren't usually so bad for me, so hopefully we'll be able to talk and get along more.

Good luck. I really hope something works out for you.

Mate, I'm proud of you and the decision you've made. It's a hugely tough one but I'm sure it will kick-start the necessary healing process. God is with you every step of the way, even if you can't feel His prescence. I'll be praying for you.

Responding to Original Post,

Aedin I'm really happy you are going into a ward. I've been twice. Yes it can be expensive, usually insurance will cover it though. If its state run or what not its usually doable even without. Praying for you bro constantly. God has you on this.

Also when it comes to recovery, I believe in the all emcompassing approach. Medication, counseling, spiritual work, self help, journaling, support groups etc. I use anything and everything out there. Medication alone won't "fix" this.

Love you

Kuno

I gotta say, I'm wary of all this psyc ward/medication stuff. Just remember that true mental/spiritual help comes from the Lord.

Shao Feng-Li (post: 1446403) wrote:I gotta say, I'm wary of all this psyc ward/medication stuff. Just remember that true mental/spiritual help comes from the Lord.

I could say something but I really don't want to start an argument in a prayer thread.

Back on topic, best of luck to you Aedin.

Yeah, let's keep this thread out of that realm, guys. Speaking as someone who has been exposed to a lot of information about psychology and how the brain works, psychological/counseling/spiritual help and medication are all viable ways of treating problems with the mind.

Anyways Aedin, I'm really glad to hear you're looking into this! I think that's awesome, and I will definitely be praying for total healing for you!

^ As will I, but I'm sure you already know this ^^

btw, congrats on becoming an uncle!

I'm wary for different reasons. Depending on what kind of place you go and your economic condition of your state/location your experience may vary. I spent some time (not as a patient, as an intern) around care treatment centers and once visited a friend who was involuntarily confined and I can say that your experince may depends on what the center's philosophy or goals are as well as again, the economic details of your location.

For example if your state or county does not fund mental health as much, you'll have less doctors, nurses, and counselors on staff, meaning you'll likely have less resources for when you may need it (routine therapy may be less frequent?) I'm not for certain or anything and this is all speculation based off of what little bit I know about health care.

Furthermore your experiences with counseling will also be different depending on who you get counseling from. Different professions have different philosophical backgrounds and methods of therapy. For example, counseling from a Psychiatrist will be a lot different than counseling from a Psychologist. Even in psychology there are many different methods and schools of thought. Therapy from a counseling psychologist may be different from a clinical psychologist. And licensed clinical social workers also have their own set of therapies which they use. Naturally my bias leans toward counseling or clinical psychology, as they focus much less on medicine compared to psychiatry. If what you were getting wasn't doing you much good, let your counselor know!! They should then change things up or find better help for you. Currently the methods which are used the most is cognitive-behavioral therapy. Try that if you haven't done so already.

Nonetheless I think overall your decision may be a responsible choice.

As always, Aedin, I wish you the best in all you do. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.



@ Mr.SmartyPants (and to whoever else it applies to): http://www.christiananime.net/showthread.php?t=51350

I don't see how that applies at all. Nowhere was I trying to give him counseling or therapy.

Mr. SmartyPants (post: 1446525) wrote:I don't see how that applies at all. Nowhere was I trying to give him counseling or therapy.

This is also a prayer thread, not an advice thread.