Rawr!!!

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Rawr!!!

Postby Midknight74012 » Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:13 pm

Still having some anger issues. I asked my dad to help me with a small repair of a very special umbrella. Knowing the soldering iron is way hot, I knew of a way to keep from burning him BUT he still wouldn't do it. So he wanted me to use a clamp that I knew would not work but went ahead anyway. When I tried, it was cracked, thus ruining it. This **** the crap out of me. I don't trust him or anyone here for that matter. Sure, they helped me move up here, but I've been living the same life I did back in Oklahoma. Isolated. I've already torn the umbrella and such to bits with my hands and am still seething with anger. I don't feel comfortable enough to tell him anything at all. He already knows of my financial situation also wants me to lose weight. I'M NOT AN IDIOT!!! He doesn't see that apparently.

Some know that I would like to settle in Arizona but I'm starting to think Huntsville, Alabama instead. Even though God knows when and where he wants me to go but this is really getting to me.

Edit: He also seems to disagree with me on just about everything especially when I try to make suggestions especially for his quickly declining health.
Psalms 82:3-4
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
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Postby Atria35 » Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:32 pm

... Wow. I'm so sorry about that. I've had stuff like that happen to me, too, so at this point I just ignore them and do it my own way. If you live a decent time from a local college, you could try joining a club in your free time (I don't know if other local colleges let people not registered do this- mine does, it wants people to come in), and if you haven't found a local church that you want to go to yet, keep looking, I'm sure you'll find one :) The local college might have a Bible study group that you could join even if you don't find a church.

I also hope that the job at the window cleaner will help, and that you can move somewhere you like very soon!

I'll be praying that things get better for you soon!
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Postby MrKrillz0r » Sun Jun 06, 2010 12:14 pm

I hope things will get better, sooner or later I'm sure it will. :D "Always look at the bright side of life".. Keep strong and remember that Jesus got your back! :)
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Postby Midknight74012 » Sun Jun 06, 2010 1:43 pm

Well, it's not just him, it's everyone here.

I posted on FB that I was **** off (mods, if you're tired of me using that, I'm sorry) and didn't want to talk about it. She commented saying there are other ways to express other then using that word and if you don't want to talk about it, why bother posting it? This welled up in me once again. Agree or disagree, if she was the Christian she claims to be, she could've said "I still love and care for you. You can talk to me about it when you want. Your in my prayers." This would've smothered any flames in me. but this didn't happen. This isn't the first time she's ticked me off.

So far, I've only had 1 time of conflict with my older stepsister. She was going political on me when I just earned some cash for helping my dad clear out some brush and needed some body soap. She works at Bath & Body and figured I could save money by using her employee discount. Well, even though the huge SUV I've been driving around for job applications and sometimes interviews guzzling up gas, I can't go in smelling like garbage or girly flowers. My stepmom took her side but dad made everyone understand and that was that.

My stepmom is sometimes still rude to me and makes accusations against me when I didn't mean to offend her in any way. Now I know I'm in trouble when this happens because she doesn't come to me, she goes straight to dad. And they have been happily married for a long time now (can't remember how many years) and they trust everything the other says. This puts me in a bad spot.

My father is the head of the house and doesn't let anyone forget that. He is a loving father but there are times when his temper flares up. Thank God it's far less then usual. His health is declining fast and when I make suggestions to help him, he says "It just happens, don't bother." Well, that's paraphrasing it but he just spent upwards of $2000 to get me here and just cutting and moving brush doesn't give me the same feelings as helping others with their emotions, spirit, and/or health. Anyways, there are times when I do things, he makes me feel like an idiot.

Sometimes, my father doesn't even need to solve the conflict, they can come to me.

I have played the role of peacemaker here on CAA with some undisclosed members as well as at work back in Oklahoma. Now I just feel pathetic that I can't solve my own issues even though I don't have many problems helping others. As you know, my aim is Huntsville, AL but I don't want to leave here on a bad note nor do I feel confident in confronting them about it.
Psalms 82:3-4
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
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Postby bkilbour » Sun Jun 06, 2010 7:55 pm

Who was criticizing you on Facebook?
How was your sister "going political" on you?
if at all possible, could you PM me with some more details, so I know what to pray for in specific?

I can relate to having what feels like unsolvable problems. And to be honest, I've got a really hard head when it comes to that kind of thing, because I usually don't know when to quit trying to solve the problem before it's too late. I have ruined many a relationship that way, and it hurts 24/7 knowing that. I know that I needed to learn patience, and I needed to trust that God would answer my prayers, even if I had to wait a long time.

I make the same suggestion to you right now. I'm not sure 100% how that wuld look applied to your life, but the Scriptures will teach you all that you need to know in that direction.
Hebrews 12
John 14
Matthew 6
Psalm 119
May God be glorified!
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Postby Tsukuyomi » Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:01 pm

I'll be praying ^^ Hang in there, Middy ^__^
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Postby Makachop^^128 » Sun Jun 06, 2010 10:42 pm

Will be praying, I hope things get better.
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Postby Midknight74012 » Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:13 pm

thank you all. My head is much cooler now, I don't even care about my littlest stepsister being critical, the older stepsister going political about fairness, and my dad said he'll pay for a new umbrella. Now, proceed to the thread Possible Job position.

Update: Turns out when I sent a prayer request to the church I go to, my dad also gets the requests. This scared the crap out of me but he didn't flame. He was cool with it and said I can trust him with things like this. Turns out he needed to say a good night prayer with my little brother. Makes me feel bad for that but knowing that he has indeed changed helps me trust him more. Now if only my stepsister was like that...
Psalms 82:3-4
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
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Posts: 252
Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2009 8:56 pm


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