CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I'm back again. Was taking a break from computer stuff, then had a pwoer outage for three days. Just been trying to spend more time offline.

I was doing pretty good, but the past week things just got worse. I feel so worthless, so meaningless. Been trying to make new friends, it hasn't been working out too well. Either I can talk to them about interests and stuff, but we're not close, or I feel close to them, but they don't share my interests, or they don't really talk back to me. I'm pretty sure most of my friends don't like me. Just everything feels so hopeless. I don't know how anyone will ever like me or love me or deal with me, how I'll ever find friends I can feel close to, who share my interests, who will be able to be the friends I need. And now today suicidal thoughts started developing. Not thoughts of killing myself, but thoughts of how I"m meaningless, and if I died noone would care or miss me, and thinking about why don't I just do it, because nothing will ever get better. I hate these thoughts.

Welcome back, Aedin ^__^ i'll continue to pray that things continue to improve for you ^__^

If things don't work out with one friend, then keep on looking ^__^ You don't have to leave anyone behind, but there's always room for more friends, y'know ^^?

Will be praying Aedin. You know you can talk to me whenever you want.

Ill pray for you, god bless

Hey, hang in there. This too shall pass. I'm praying for you.

I'll also continue to pray. ^^ God Bless!

I'm praying for you. Trust in the Lord. Prayer is the strongest asset you have the devil. I want you to know that I'm a good listener and will listen if you need someone.

I couldn't sleep last night. I have no idea where to go, what to do. I can't stop thinking. Everytime I think of something that helps me have hope, I think of something to ruin it. Everytime I think of a place to go, or kinds of people I think I'd get along with, to try to meet, I can't stop remembering the past, all the people who abandoned me, or treated em badly, or got mad at me and left, all the people who never bothered to try to talk to me and be my friend. I don't know what to do.

I just wish it was easier to know who to try to talk to, where to go. Wish it was easier to get to know people. Does anyone else ever wodner if their only purpose in life is to eventually kill themselves?

I just honestly wonder if God cares how people hurt me.