CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

So... This is mostly just a rant on how I'm feeling...

Lately, I've been feeling super, super down on myself... And I just don't know what to do... I've tried everything. I've read the Bible, prayed, sought help, gone to church, trusted in the Lord... and still... nothing.

My life has mostly been a mess... I was abandoned by a parent who later tried to return into my life (and tried to do so in every wrong way possible, for that matter)... and I spent a lot of my life wondering why somebody would do that to me...

Then, there was church... I'd always heard church was supposed to be a place where you could feel safe and secure in the family of God... but I grew up in church and found it to be a place of heartache, neglect, harassment, pain, gossip, and torment. I went through a lot from youth leaders, Christian school teachers, and students involved in teen ministries... Eventually I got kind of sick and couldn't feel up to going to church.... and even when I got better, I just all and out had enough and stopped going... I went back soon enough, but even now, I'm only back in a very limited sense, since I still don't feel like I can trust our youth group or anything like that.

Honestly... Even though Christians have treated me horribly throughout my entire life, I still believe in God. I've seen miracles happen, had prayers answered, and the fact that I'm still here is proof that God exists.... I can never in my mind fathom doubting the Lord's existence... but honestly? I've been feeling super let down by those who say that they're the ones who should be there for me in the first place (my own brothers and sisters in Christ).

I guess... I just want to feel somewhat more important, and I'm sick of taking the blame and hurt for things that aren't even my fault... I've been wanting to leave this place for years, since I've been here from the start of my life... I practically grew up here, and I don't want to set foot on this ground again, since I hardly have anybody here to talk to and a lot of horrible memories to pile on top of that.

My broken heart is really starting to take a toll on me physically. My sleep schedule is all off. I'm not able to sleep much at night, wind up crashing in the afternoon, and then wake up around 10 PM. My diet is either eat all the time or don't eat at all. I'm feeling slowed down mentally, not able to concentrate, stress about the smallest things, every now and then have anxiety attacks... It's horrible.

If you could just pray for.... well.... something.... I'd really appreciate it.... Not trying to sound whiney or anything, my apologies if I'm coming across as such... I'm just feeling well.... Like this one song title: "Lord Move, or Move Me".

Hey dude. Weird, I put a post up in prayer requests kind of similar to this one just earlier today. I'm feeling some real frustration, too. So, I'm not going to bore you with pointless advice . You'll be in my prayers, though. I've had some real trouble with my eating/sleeping schedule at times as well. And I feel you on the whole Church thing. I've always been faithful to Church, but I'd be the first to say that there are times where you think it's to your own demise. Churches today often seem to be cold, hurtful, biting places where you get left out in the cold unless you fit into some certain group.

All that said, you can know this - you're not alone! I'm right there with you today. . . let us commemorate the pain together!

I'm real sorry your church has let you down. I'll be praying. You've got us here .

*Hugs* Hang in there Sno ^^ Hit me up with a PM if you ever want to talk, kk ^^? In the meantime, I'll be praying

I totally know how you feel, I was in the same boat about a year ago. I'll definitely be praying for you!!

JC Heart wrote:And, perhaps, that was one of the last earthly threads he had to shed (the need for companionship in a human sense) before being able to ascend higher in his thought.

I disagree with this, on the basis that it makes it sound like we need to avoid the need for human companionship to be truly happy, and that is completely contrary to what God's Word says.

Now, to be fair, it IS true that human affection is fleeting, and ultimately will never truly fulfill us. However, what does Genesis say? Genesis says that Adam was alone, and God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." So God made Eve, a woman.

The Hebrew there for when God says "It is not good" means it's REALLY not good. It's like walking in Central Park at 2 AM and saying "BOY ALL THIS MONEY SURE IS WEIGHING ME DOWN, MAKING IT REALLY DIFFICULT TO WALK WITH ALL THIS MONEY ON ME, BOY, AND MY ROLEX ISN'T HELPING EITHER, NOR IS MY ARMANI SUIT." That's how not good it was for Adam to be alone.

Now, how did God fulfill Adam's loneliness? With a human female. God could have said, "Y'know Adam, I notice you're alone, but cheer up! You have me after all, and what more could you want than me? I'm all you need!"

But no, God knew that Adam needed another person, another human being, to be with him, to cure his loneliness.

Who here can deny Adam was closer to God than anyone? He literally walked with God, he literally talked with God, and yet God alone was not enough to completely comfort him. Now to be sure, Eve alone, without God, would not have comforted Adam any more, and God is definitely the most important thing. But to say that we need to shed a need for human companionship? Absurd. Why one of the very first things the Bible tells us is that humans have an innate longing and requirement for human companionship!

To that end, someone suffering like the original poster will gain little comfort from hearing things like "God is all you need!" God is the most important thing he needs, yes, but not ALL he needs. God says "Where two or more gather in my name, I will be there." This doesn't mean a person by themselves does not have God with them, but once again it reinforces that we as humans are social creatures who DO need to be with other humans.

So, after this long post, which I'm sure has been of no help to the thread-starter, I say, I shall pray for you, brother. I'm sure God will help you, just as He helped Adam all those millennium ago. I pray you have the patience to endure.

I'll be praying.