AMEN.
Gooseberry, I don't have any experience with meds, but I've been through pleanty of spiritual dry spells. How much this helps you, I don't know, but I would suggest not looking for a way to "get back to how things were." God doesn't take us back to how we were, He makes us into what we're going to be. Of course, I'm praying for you, too.
Also, if you guys could remember me in your prayers, I've been a lot of highs and lows VERY close together lately.
General Depression Prayer Thread
[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Blitzkrieg1701 - Posts: 1884
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 9:01 am
- Location: Washington, DC (when I'm not in an alternate universe)
Will update later.
Doing a lot better now.
Doing a lot better now.
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
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Okami - Posts: 1771
- Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
- Location: Michigan
I was so suicidal yesterday, I won't lie. So upset because no one seemed to remember it was my birthday...
But then, dad and I go out. Drive time for me and just wandering....
I should have realised what was happening.
So we go home, and my stepmom explains "Well, we picked up a movie so we're going to go downstairs to have dinner (pizza)" and she beckons us down, carrying the four boxes of pizza, each with 16 slices. So she asks me to turn on the lights. And the moment I do:
"SURPRISSSSEEEEE!!!!"
All of my female youth group friends. All of them. Except one, who is still getting over a really bad sickness. But she was at church this morning, so that made up for it.
They...I had no idea. I was so shocked and overwhelmed, I still am, looking back. They have restored my love and my joy. I never realised it, but they're my true best friends. We played Apples to Apples and watched Hairspray and talked and had a ton of fun. I showed them my scars and explained what's been happening...and one of my closer friends took my left arm and kissed my scars. I wanted to cry! She's so sweet <3
It was an amazing night. I've gotten so many heart-felt gifts, unlike ever before. Two Footprints notebooks, a hand-made scrapbook from one of the D-groups, several cards, a Family Christian girftcard (which I later bought the Manga Bible and an Integrity Circles necklace with: "Commitment, Live, Strength, Hope, Joy, Peace" as my circles) an Electric Razor, a John 3:16 hoodie, body lotion and body butter, a friendship bracelet and a Philippians 3:14 fish faithstone. Love! <3
I thought you all would like to know. Today marks a fresh, crisp page in my book. Seventeen will be different!
But then, dad and I go out. Drive time for me and just wandering....
I should have realised what was happening.
So we go home, and my stepmom explains "Well, we picked up a movie so we're going to go downstairs to have dinner (pizza)" and she beckons us down, carrying the four boxes of pizza, each with 16 slices. So she asks me to turn on the lights. And the moment I do:
"SURPRISSSSEEEEE!!!!"
All of my female youth group friends. All of them. Except one, who is still getting over a really bad sickness. But she was at church this morning, so that made up for it.
They...I had no idea. I was so shocked and overwhelmed, I still am, looking back. They have restored my love and my joy. I never realised it, but they're my true best friends. We played Apples to Apples and watched Hairspray and talked and had a ton of fun. I showed them my scars and explained what's been happening...and one of my closer friends took my left arm and kissed my scars. I wanted to cry! She's so sweet <3
It was an amazing night. I've gotten so many heart-felt gifts, unlike ever before. Two Footprints notebooks, a hand-made scrapbook from one of the D-groups, several cards, a Family Christian girftcard (which I later bought the Manga Bible and an Integrity Circles necklace with: "Commitment, Live, Strength, Hope, Joy, Peace" as my circles) an Electric Razor, a John 3:16 hoodie, body lotion and body butter, a friendship bracelet and a Philippians 3:14 fish faithstone. Love! <3
I thought you all would like to know. Today marks a fresh, crisp page in my book. Seventeen will be different!
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
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Okami - Posts: 1771
- Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
- Location: Michigan
Okami,
So glad you had a good birthday!! Friends like that are definitely a blessing from the Lord!
Wow...I just realized that I was 17...well, 5 years ago...man, I'm getting old...
(By the way, Apples to Apples is an amazing game...love it).
I just want to let you know that I am still praying for you friend. Hang in there. Life is a battle --the important thing is don't give up --remember that God is with you.
Hope you have a good week Okami and keep us updated!
Happy belated birthday!
So glad you had a good birthday!! Friends like that are definitely a blessing from the Lord!
Wow...I just realized that I was 17...well, 5 years ago...man, I'm getting old...
(By the way, Apples to Apples is an amazing game...love it).
I just want to let you know that I am still praying for you friend. Hang in there. Life is a battle --the important thing is don't give up --remember that God is with you.
Hope you have a good week Okami and keep us updated!
Happy belated birthday!
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Sheenar - Posts: 2989
- Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:55 am
- Location: Texas
That's an awesome birthday party, hon. I'm glad you had a good time and were reminded of how much your friends care for you 
. *Hugs*
. *Hugs*K. Ayato: What happens if you press the small red button?
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
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K. Ayato - Posts: 3881
- Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:00 am
- Location: Southern California
Congrats on having a great B-day Kady. Now to update on my bro.
Im still praying for him to overcome, not sure it is really helping atm. Given that he was in a very depressing state on the Sabbath and the rest of the weekend.. He was saying how "'He is a failure at everything" I tried to even encourage him on his future goals as becoming a video game designer, artist for God. I think something has really taken a massive toll on him. So please keep him in your prayers. I'm trying every option that comes to mind....
It would really hurt and suck if he did something drastic to himself right before he sees through accomplishing his God given dreams and goals along with mine. Or at any other moment. He is one of the few things left on this current Earth that keeps me going...
God Bless, may everyone have a great week.
Im still praying for him to overcome, not sure it is really helping atm. Given that he was in a very depressing state on the Sabbath and the rest of the weekend.. He was saying how "'He is a failure at everything" I tried to even encourage him on his future goals as becoming a video game designer, artist for God. I think something has really taken a massive toll on him. So please keep him in your prayers. I'm trying every option that comes to mind....
It would really hurt and suck if he did something drastic to himself right before he sees through accomplishing his God given dreams and goals along with mine. Or at any other moment. He is one of the few things left on this current Earth that keeps me going...
God Bless, may everyone have a great week.
Some of my favorite scriptures.
Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.
James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.
James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
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Gabriel 9.0 - Posts: 736
- Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 pm
- Location: Classified
We'll, I'm officially not feeling suicidal anymore.
Phew, after going through a month long period of it and countless meltdowns. It's going to take a long time just to recover to a little bit of my normal self.
Last Saturday I decided to give GASP (our local aspie support group) a second try. The results were, extremely positive. And a bit sad in some places.
Firstly, I will not be going to a therapist or counselor or any professional. The reason for this is because over 50% of them within my city have no knowledge of Asperger's, while the other half knows very little or carries a lot of old information and incorrect ideas. If I were to go I would either be disagreeing very fiercely with their advice, or I would out do them in therapy. I literally know so much about Asperger's and myself that I've made more progress in gaining knowledge about it that it would take years for a therapist to fully understand everything. As a result, I've basically been my own therapist when I needed one for the past six years. Along with my parents giving me support.
The other sad report is that there are no organizations or other groups that specialize or even have a general idea of what Asperger's is. GRASP is literally the only group that not only has a general idea about it, but is an expert group (not to mention being able to relate to everyone and offering support More on that in a bit).
Combine that with the fact that I don't work in groups, plus the fact that every other place in my city has failed, my faith was numb, and the very fabric of my will to just live was on the edge of a knife and I needed something ASAP, GASP became, and is, my only option left. And everyone else there is in the same situation.
We're using the term "pulling up our boot straps" because we're literally on our own. The only help we can find is in each other. And very likely the only friends as well. There's no one else to turn to.
As for myself, I told them what my main issue was and how it had affected me, and they all immediately related. One man (aged 47) told the story of how he struggled in the 1970's with it. There was no internet (which is the miracle invention for not only aspies but anyone who struggles with social situations), and everyone was at a loss for him. His mother put him into a group housing program for two years just because it was getting so bad. He's never had a girlfriend and lives alone after both his parents died.
I got really emotionally torn after that and wanted to (and I probably will next time) HUG HIM. XD
And now comes, while probably not the main part of my story (I don't think I even have one here), a piece of information that really grabbed my attention.
There's a girl close to my age with Asperger's who lives in Pella, Iowa. A 2 hours drive from where I live. For a reason I can't remember, she can't drive and thusly spends 95% of her time in her house. She moved to the wired to find anyone outside and became dependent on it, like myself.
Beyond that I know very little about her. But I plan to try to contact her as soon as I can and find out what I can.
And that's it. It's a very small step, but any small step matters the world to me over being pulled down further with a heavy chain. I'll continue to update with even more tomorrow (SO VERY MUCH TO WRITE).
God bless you all.
Phew, after going through a month long period of it and countless meltdowns. It's going to take a long time just to recover to a little bit of my normal self.
Last Saturday I decided to give GASP (our local aspie support group) a second try. The results were, extremely positive. And a bit sad in some places.
Firstly, I will not be going to a therapist or counselor or any professional. The reason for this is because over 50% of them within my city have no knowledge of Asperger's, while the other half knows very little or carries a lot of old information and incorrect ideas. If I were to go I would either be disagreeing very fiercely with their advice, or I would out do them in therapy. I literally know so much about Asperger's and myself that I've made more progress in gaining knowledge about it that it would take years for a therapist to fully understand everything. As a result, I've basically been my own therapist when I needed one for the past six years. Along with my parents giving me support.
The other sad report is that there are no organizations or other groups that specialize or even have a general idea of what Asperger's is. GRASP is literally the only group that not only has a general idea about it, but is an expert group (not to mention being able to relate to everyone and offering support More on that in a bit).
Combine that with the fact that I don't work in groups, plus the fact that every other place in my city has failed, my faith was numb, and the very fabric of my will to just live was on the edge of a knife and I needed something ASAP, GASP became, and is, my only option left. And everyone else there is in the same situation.
We're using the term "pulling up our boot straps" because we're literally on our own. The only help we can find is in each other. And very likely the only friends as well. There's no one else to turn to.
As for myself, I told them what my main issue was and how it had affected me, and they all immediately related. One man (aged 47) told the story of how he struggled in the 1970's with it. There was no internet (which is the miracle invention for not only aspies but anyone who struggles with social situations), and everyone was at a loss for him. His mother put him into a group housing program for two years just because it was getting so bad. He's never had a girlfriend and lives alone after both his parents died.
I got really emotionally torn after that and wanted to (and I probably will next time) HUG HIM. XD
And now comes, while probably not the main part of my story (I don't think I even have one here), a piece of information that really grabbed my attention.
There's a girl close to my age with Asperger's who lives in Pella, Iowa. A 2 hours drive from where I live. For a reason I can't remember, she can't drive and thusly spends 95% of her time in her house. She moved to the wired to find anyone outside and became dependent on it, like myself.
Beyond that I know very little about her. But I plan to try to contact her as soon as I can and find out what I can.
And that's it. It's a very small step, but any small step matters the world to me over being pulled down further with a heavy chain. I'll continue to update with even more tomorrow (SO VERY MUCH TO WRITE).
God bless you all.
<img src="patent pending.jpg"></p>
<p>Signature in progress</p>
<p>Signature in progress</p>
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Alexander - Posts: 877
- Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 12:42 am
- Location: Sometimes I wish I honestly knew.
You're on the right track again, Alec. I'm proud of you. *Hugs*
*Hugs*K. Ayato: What happens if you press the small red button?
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
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K. Ayato - Posts: 3881
- Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:00 am
- Location: Southern California
Alright! It's very encouraging to see some happy news
Of course, I'm still praying for everybody
Of course, I'm still praying for everybody
[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Blitzkrieg1701 - Posts: 1884
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 9:01 am
- Location: Washington, DC (when I'm not in an alternate universe)
Glad things went well for you, Kady. o.o/
As for me, I'm doing terrible. I'm on my...er, cycle. Yeah, I know, that sounds weird coming from a guy, but I do have a sort of emotional cycle that goes up and down. I'm starting into my downtime. I'm in a lot of pain right now for a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is, I seriously feel like no one mortal even cares that I exist (I specifically added the word "mortal" to avoid the cookie-cutter "God cares!" response).
Yep. Don't know what else to say.
As for me, I'm doing terrible. I'm on my...er, cycle. Yeah, I know, that sounds weird coming from a guy, but I do have a sort of emotional cycle that goes up and down. I'm starting into my downtime. I'm in a lot of pain right now for a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is, I seriously feel like no one mortal even cares that I exist (I specifically added the word "mortal" to avoid the cookie-cutter "God cares!" response).
Yep. Don't know what else to say.
Ezekiel 23:20
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Nate - Posts: 10725
- Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 12:00 pm
- Location: Oh right, like anyone actually cares.
Praying for you also Nate.
Some of my favorite scriptures.
Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.
James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
Psalm91
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Hebrews 4-4
1Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.
2For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.
3For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
4For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.
James 4
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Revelation 22:14
Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
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Gabriel 9.0 - Posts: 736
- Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 pm
- Location: Classified
I can identify, man, and I'll be praying. Oh, and I guess I count as "mortal," too 
[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Purple"]For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that one died for all, therefore all died; and he that died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14-15[/color][/font]
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Blitzkrieg1701 - Posts: 1884
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 9:01 am
- Location: Washington, DC (when I'm not in an alternate universe)
Alexander and Okami, I am glad to hear you two are doing fine now. I am still doing okay.
I haven't gotten much chance to play my musical instrument even though it was the best medicine to depression in my opinion. Fortunately(?), the dark weather didn't affect my mood negatively. I guess what I need the most is health, whatever my mood is, it is hard to get school projects completed without getting dazed these days.
I haven't gotten much chance to play my musical instrument even though it was the best medicine to depression in my opinion. Fortunately(?), the dark weather didn't affect my mood negatively. I guess what I need the most is health, whatever my mood is, it is hard to get school projects completed without getting dazed these days.
[SIZE="1"]Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)[/SIZE]
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SnEptUne - Posts: 247
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 1:31 pm
I'm normaly not depressed but right now I feel really depressed, it seems like everthing I do is wrong in my parents eyes. My brother acts like a total jerk towards me and just sets me off so i get in trouble for getting mad at him. And my day it seems like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and the only thing that lets me vent is my electric guitar and I can't play it right now so man I just hope life stops being so pathetic. Sorry for any bad grammer.
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Taran - Posts: 98
- Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2007 8:29 am
- Location: ohio
Today, I am back down to Day 1. I haven't told anyone but my mom and one of my friends who also struggles as a self-injurer.
They didn't bleed, because I didn't use an actual blade. But I'm praying they, especially the 'deeper' ones, don't get infected. That's the last thing I need.
I don't want to do this anymore...it's hurting those around me more than it's hurting me, and I hate to see the people I love cry. I hate it.
They didn't bleed, because I didn't use an actual blade. But I'm praying they, especially the 'deeper' ones, don't get infected. That's the last thing I need.
I don't want to do this anymore...it's hurting those around me more than it's hurting me, and I hate to see the people I love cry. I hate it.
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
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Okami - Posts: 1771
- Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
- Location: Michigan
Taran wrote:I'm normaly not depressed but right now I feel really depressed, it seems like everthing I do is wrong in my parents eyes. My brother acts like a total jerk towards me and just sets me off so i get in trouble for getting mad at him. And my day it seems like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and the only thing that lets me vent is my electric guitar and I can't play it right now so man I just hope life stops being so pathetic. Sorry for any bad grammer.
Paraphased from Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, as soon as you realized the error in your wrong doing, it is no longer wrong. If you got into a fight with your brother, try to make up for it. Nothing can goes "wrong", things just happens. What is important is how you deal with it.
[SIZE="1"]Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)[/SIZE]
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SnEptUne - Posts: 247
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 1:31 pm
<mod snip>
They didn't bleed, because I didn't use an actual blade. But I'm praying they, especially the 'deeper' ones, don't get infected. That's the last thing I need.
I don't want to do this anymore...it's hurting those around me more than it's hurting me, and I hate to see the people I love cry. I hate it.[/quote]
Indeed, it always hurts others more than one's self when injuring yourself. I am moved that you have someone who cares of you enough to cry, you are blessed for you are child of God.
They didn't bleed, because I didn't use an actual blade. But I'm praying they, especially the 'deeper' ones, don't get infected. That's the last thing I need.
I don't want to do this anymore...it's hurting those around me more than it's hurting me, and I hate to see the people I love cry. I hate it.[/quote]
Indeed, it always hurts others more than one's self when injuring yourself. I am moved that you have someone who cares of you enough to cry, you are blessed for you are child of God.
[SIZE="1"]Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)[/SIZE]
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SnEptUne - Posts: 247
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 1:31 pm
<mod snip>
I don't know what to say other than to say that I'm still praying for you, Okami. You have really been on my heart. Hang in there, friend. God is with you. Just cry in His arms.
I don't know what to say other than to say that I'm still praying for you, Okami. You have really been on my heart. Hang in there, friend. God is with you. Just cry in His arms.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Sheenar - Posts: 2989
- Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:55 am
- Location: Texas
Just wanted to share a verse with everyone...
In John 6:37-39 Jesus says:
All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.
For I have come down from Heaven not to do my will but to do the will of Him who sent me.
And this is the will of Him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that He has given me, but raise them up at the last day.
We all go through times of difficulty or hardships...it's in these times that our faith is often tested to the limit (this week has been quite difficult for myself as well, with ACTs as well as struggling with feelings)...
But remember that our Savior will never abandon us during these times. I hope this verse has encouraged u guys, cuase I know it has been what has helped me these past few weeks.
All of u are in my prayers..... You'll make it through guys...
In John 6:37-39 Jesus says:
All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.
For I have come down from Heaven not to do my will but to do the will of Him who sent me.
And this is the will of Him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that He has given me, but raise them up at the last day.
We all go through times of difficulty or hardships...it's in these times that our faith is often tested to the limit (this week has been quite difficult for myself as well, with ACTs as well as struggling with feelings)...
But remember that our Savior will never abandon us during these times. I hope this verse has encouraged u guys, cuase I know it has been what has helped me these past few weeks.
All of u are in my prayers..... You'll make it through guys...
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Danderson - Posts: 1277
- Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:42 pm
- Location: The Middle of the USA
Journalling...
I decided to take my thoughts down into a third-person story. So here you have it:
[SIZE="1"]
Today was a confusing day. She felt it in the form of physical and emotional weariness. Three days beforehand she had relapsed, and she could not shake the pain. Counting the scratches and cuts on both arms, they added to eighty or so. They weren’t that bad, so she thought, but they stung enough to keep focus. That was where her attention was turned all day, as she quietly sat with her thoughts through class and lunch. Her wrist throbbed. It was there that she had etched “LOVEâ€
[SIZE="1"]
Today was a confusing day. She felt it in the form of physical and emotional weariness. Three days beforehand she had relapsed, and she could not shake the pain. Counting the scratches and cuts on both arms, they added to eighty or so. They weren’t that bad, so she thought, but they stung enough to keep focus. That was where her attention was turned all day, as she quietly sat with her thoughts through class and lunch. Her wrist throbbed. It was there that she had etched “LOVEâ€
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
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Okami - Posts: 1771
- Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
- Location: Michigan
Still reading
Still praying
Still
Holding onto you in my thoughts
Holding onto you in my heart
Holding on
Still praying
Still
Holding onto you in my thoughts
Holding onto you in my heart
Holding on
"Those who believe will be saved...so they say. Get it?"
Sister Rosette Christopher
Sorry ladies, already married to HitomiYuriko , but it took both our efforts to come up with daughter Althaia
Please use the Haibane Renmei Lesson Plan
MOES: Can't scroll this.
Sister Rosette Christopher
Sorry ladies, already married to HitomiYuriko , but it took both our efforts to come up with daughter Althaia
Please use the Haibane Renmei Lesson Plan
MOES: Can't scroll this.
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SP1 - Posts: 861
- Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2005 6:30 am
- Location: Kentucky
Still praying, friend.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Sheenar - Posts: 2989
- Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:55 am
- Location: Texas
Day 3SI/0M
I told Kiku today...and showed her a few of them.
They itch likes nuts. Healing process is insane! D:
[SIZE="1"]
Oh, The deliverance of blade and flame, your love
And greater is the blood
You’ll find it in the veil of night where solitude is born
In the emptiness of broken flesh, at the mercy of the thorns...[/SIZE]
I told Kiku today...and showed her a few of them.
They itch likes nuts. Healing process is insane! D:
[SIZE="1"]
Oh, The deliverance of blade and flame, your love
And greater is the blood
You’ll find it in the veil of night where solitude is born
In the emptiness of broken flesh, at the mercy of the thorns...[/SIZE]
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
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Okami - Posts: 1771
- Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
- Location: Michigan
Itchy
Day 3SI/0M
I told Kiku today...and showed her a few of them.
They itch likes nuts. Healing process is insane! D:
Try A&D Ointment on them. It's greasy, but good for your skin and should help healing and prevent dryness.
OK, I need a translation. I've got 0M figured out, I think, but 3SI escapes me, although I assume it is a cut/scratch counter.
Do you prefer I call you Kady or Okami?
"Those who believe will be saved...so they say. Get it?"
Sister Rosette Christopher
Sorry ladies, already married to HitomiYuriko , but it took both our efforts to come up with daughter Althaia
Please use the Haibane Renmei Lesson Plan
MOES: Can't scroll this.
Sister Rosette Christopher
Sorry ladies, already married to HitomiYuriko , but it took both our efforts to come up with daughter Althaia
Please use the Haibane Renmei Lesson Plan
MOES: Can't scroll this.
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SP1 - Posts: 861
- Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2005 6:30 am
- Location: Kentucky
I take it SI means self-injury and M is masturbation?
K. Ayato: What happens if you press the small red button?
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
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K. Ayato - Posts: 3881
- Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:00 am
- Location: Southern California
Getting an early start. Can't be too prepared.
I just finished my last final exam for my undergraduate college career. I now have to get a place to live by the end of the month and a job by the end of January (even a temp job).
Pray that I can keep focus on the end, and let God take care of the in-between details, and that he can keep me calm even in the face of deadlines and potential depressive episodes resulting from some of this.
I just finished my last final exam for my undergraduate college career. I now have to get a place to live by the end of the month and a job by the end of January (even a temp job).
Pray that I can keep focus on the end, and let God take care of the in-between details, and that he can keep me calm even in the face of deadlines and potential depressive episodes resulting from some of this.
Hiyakawa Sayaka (my character from my writing) wrote:God has given me a gift, that I really don't know what to do with. I guess, all I can do is put it in his hands, keep my hands inside the car, and expect to end up destroying parts of Tokyo with my perfectly good guitar.
Revelation 1:10-11: I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day, and I heard behind me a loud voice like the sound of a trumpet, saying, [color="Red"]"Write in a book what you see, and send it to the seven churches to Ephesus and to Smyrna, and to Pergamum and to Theyatira, and at Sardis, and to Philadelphia, and to Laodicea."[/color]
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Sakaki Onsei - Posts: 312
- Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:15 pm
- Location: Where God can easily access me
Either or works, SP But, tbh, I prefer Okami on the boards, since I'm sure it's what my parent's would want me to say ^^;
K's got it right, though. Beat me to it! I use the term "SI" over on another board all the time, I forgot I hadn't introduced it here, yet.
Yesterday my stepmom went and did her (monthly, I think?) sermon to GLM (Guiding Light Missions) and included pieces of my testimony, and parts of a Bulletin I had posted on Myspace (In which she told me....to print out two copies and keep one on hand and the other in the bathroom. But I checked my bulletin list and that one specific had been deleted, over ten days old.) That's okay, though, I'm going to be rewriting my ENTIRE testimony soon. That'll be huge.
So now, 100+ people more know some of my story, how I am a cutter, and many specifically told her that they'd be praying for me. She sent me the sermon file and I just sat, in tears, as I read it.
Now I need to back up. Last night we decorated our Christmas tree, and I didn't participate...so I just laid there and watched, because I had a stomachache. Mom ended up telling me to go to bed, so I did, because I was sick of just laying there. I ended up M'ing to get the focus off my stomach, and that lasted God knows how long, until I'd worked myself into a sweat, I'll say.
(I'd gone to my room around 7:30) by the time it was 8, I kept hearing what sounded like a whisper through the noise of my cd player playing Kutless' "Hearts of the Innocent" and the family in the living room. I kept hearing "Go down and look at your cd booklets" (I have them all stacked together in one of my cd rack holes) So I stopped what I was doing after a few more minutes and did just that. About 8:15 now.
I took them all out and flipped through them, but was instantly drawn to my Day of Fire, which had been folded several times previously and left, neglected. There I read for the first time in two years or so the testimony of lead singer, Josh Brown. His abuse and addiction to drugs, alchohol, and all the things the world offered...and his salvation story.
Then, after that, he goes on to add the "Sinner's Prayer" and a calling to stop a life of sin and accept the Lord.
"God, I know that I am a sinner. I believe Jesus is Your son and that He died on the cross for my sins. I believe that You raised Him from the dead so that I could have a new life with You. Please forgive me of my sins and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Be the Lord of my life, free me from my depression and teach me how to live free."
Back then, those few years ago, that didn't mean a whole lot to me. But last night, as I repeated those words aloud, I bawled. I felt the Spirit's presence in a way that I have not in a very, very long time. And then my arms started tingling again, but it was different from that "Oh, please scratch me, I'm itchy" feeling.
I lifted my sleeves and looked at my marks, and almost all of them were about 75%-90% scarred over. Just hours before they were still healing wounds. (Not to say that they aren't, still) There's only a couple that are still in the full healing-process, including my wrist.
I broke after that. After the rest of what the booklet has to say, Josh adds "And if you prayed that prayer tonight, please feel free to write us at _____" It was that that really got me wanting to write up my testimony. So that I will do when I make time for it.
It's just....ah, God is so good.
4SI/1M
But, tbh, I prefer Okami on the boards, since I'm sure it's what my parent's would want me to say ^^;
K's got it right, though. Beat me to it! I use the term "SI" over on another board all the time, I forgot I hadn't introduced it here, yet.
Yesterday my stepmom went and did her (monthly, I think?) sermon to GLM (Guiding Light Missions) and included pieces of my testimony, and parts of a Bulletin I had posted on Myspace (In which she told me....to print out two copies and keep one on hand and the other in the bathroom. But I checked my bulletin list and that one specific had been deleted, over ten days old.) That's okay, though, I'm going to be rewriting my ENTIRE testimony soon. That'll be huge.
So now, 100+ people more know some of my story, how I am a cutter, and many specifically told her that they'd be praying for me. She sent me the sermon file and I just sat, in tears, as I read it.
Now I need to back up. Last night we decorated our Christmas tree, and I didn't participate...so I just laid there and watched, because I had a stomachache. Mom ended up telling me to go to bed, so I did, because I was sick of just laying there. I ended up M'ing to get the focus off my stomach, and that lasted God knows how long, until I'd worked myself into a sweat, I'll say.
(I'd gone to my room around 7:30) by the time it was 8, I kept hearing what sounded like a whisper through the noise of my cd player playing Kutless' "Hearts of the Innocent" and the family in the living room. I kept hearing "Go down and look at your cd booklets" (I have them all stacked together in one of my cd rack holes) So I stopped what I was doing after a few more minutes and did just that. About 8:15 now.
I took them all out and flipped through them, but was instantly drawn to my Day of Fire, which had been folded several times previously and left, neglected. There I read for the first time in two years or so the testimony of lead singer, Josh Brown. His abuse and addiction to drugs, alchohol, and all the things the world offered...and his salvation story.
Then, after that, he goes on to add the "Sinner's Prayer" and a calling to stop a life of sin and accept the Lord.
"God, I know that I am a sinner. I believe Jesus is Your son and that He died on the cross for my sins. I believe that You raised Him from the dead so that I could have a new life with You. Please forgive me of my sins and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Be the Lord of my life, free me from my depression and teach me how to live free."
Back then, those few years ago, that didn't mean a whole lot to me. But last night, as I repeated those words aloud, I bawled. I felt the Spirit's presence in a way that I have not in a very, very long time. And then my arms started tingling again, but it was different from that "Oh, please scratch me, I'm itchy" feeling.
I lifted my sleeves and looked at my marks, and almost all of them were about 75%-90% scarred over. Just hours before they were still healing wounds. (Not to say that they aren't, still) There's only a couple that are still in the full healing-process, including my wrist.
I broke after that. After the rest of what the booklet has to say, Josh adds "And if you prayed that prayer tonight, please feel free to write us at _____" It was that that really got me wanting to write up my testimony. So that I will do when I make time for it.
It's just....ah, God is so good.
4SI/1M
~*~ Blessed to be Ryosuke's wife!
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
"We will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to
meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
-
Okami - Posts: 1771
- Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 10:00 am
- Location: Michigan
Sounds like God's working, Okami! 
Please pray for me you guys. I'm reaching a breaking point. All the stress of this semester is crashing on my head and I'm worrying a lot about the future --it's just so unsure-I don't know if I'll even have a roof over my head when school ends in May. I try so hard to trust God, but I still doubt.
And I totally embarrassed myself this morning. We had a meeting for the work-study students and afterwards, I was talking to the lady in charge of work-study about being on my own now, struggling to make ends meet, being afraid that I won't be able to buy Pebbles' food, etc. I started crying. I hate crying in front of people. I know it's not wrong, and that God created our emotions --it just still hasn't sunk in after all those years of Mom hitting me if I cried --I feel guilt when I cry in front of someone. Then another lady in the office gave me some money. More guilt. I made her feel sorry for me with my crying. I'm such a stupid girl....why do I have to go and get emotional?
Side note: I hate money. I just hate dealing with it!!
I have a really bad migraine, a paper due today (that I'm not going to finish on time --I'll have to turn it in online tomorrow at minus a letter grade.--I told myself that I'll finish it when I finish it.) I'm just so stressed and trying to survive the rest of the semester. And also trying not to push myself too hard (that's how I wound up almost killing myself two years ago --I just let it pile up too much).
Please pray for me. This being on my own thing is really hard. I actually had a fleeting thought yesterday of dropping out of college. But I'm not going to do that --especially being only 1 1/2-2 years away from graduating. I've worked too hard to just give up. My degree won't mean anything if I don't have to work for it. Just pray that all this stress doesn't lead to suicidal thoughts. I can and does very easily.
Thank you.
Please pray for me you guys. I'm reaching a breaking point. All the stress of this semester is crashing on my head and I'm worrying a lot about the future --it's just so unsure-I don't know if I'll even have a roof over my head when school ends in May. I try so hard to trust God, but I still doubt.
And I totally embarrassed myself this morning. We had a meeting for the work-study students and afterwards, I was talking to the lady in charge of work-study about being on my own now, struggling to make ends meet, being afraid that I won't be able to buy Pebbles' food, etc. I started crying. I hate crying in front of people. I know it's not wrong, and that God created our emotions --it just still hasn't sunk in after all those years of Mom hitting me if I cried --I feel guilt when I cry in front of someone. Then another lady in the office gave me some money. More guilt. I made her feel sorry for me with my crying. I'm such a stupid girl....why do I have to go and get emotional?
Side note: I hate money. I just hate dealing with it!!
I have a really bad migraine, a paper due today (that I'm not going to finish on time --I'll have to turn it in online tomorrow at minus a letter grade.--I told myself that I'll finish it when I finish it.) I'm just so stressed and trying to survive the rest of the semester. And also trying not to push myself too hard (that's how I wound up almost killing myself two years ago --I just let it pile up too much).
Please pray for me. This being on my own thing is really hard. I actually had a fleeting thought yesterday of dropping out of college. But I'm not going to do that --especially being only 1 1/2-2 years away from graduating. I've worked too hard to just give up. My degree won't mean anything if I don't have to work for it. Just pray that all this stress doesn't lead to suicidal thoughts. I can and does very easily.
Thank you.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Sheenar - Posts: 2989
- Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:55 am
- Location: Texas
You've got my prayers, hon. I know you probably don't think it, but it was good for you to cry. Don't feel guilty if someone gives you their shoulder or even a few dollar bills. They do it 'cause they care, not 'cause they have to comfort you.
Feel free to send a message my way. I'm praying for you. I'm glad you're determined to finish college no matter what. Keep at it, girl!
Feel free to send a message my way. I'm praying for you. I'm glad you're determined to finish college no matter what. Keep at it, girl!
K. Ayato: What happens if you press the small red button?
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
*Explosion goes off in the movie*
mechana2015: Does that answer your question?
K. Ayato: Perfectly.
Prayer sister of kaji, sticksabuser, Angel37, and Doubleshadow --Love you guys!
-
K. Ayato - Posts: 3881
- Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:00 am
- Location: Southern California
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