Postby Aedin » Mon Feb 01, 2010 3:21 pm
Had a big panic attack today. Was dragged out shopping for hours, and I was just surrounded by people for so long, nad it just kept reminding me how I've never been able to make friends in this town. Everyone I meet either leaves, or aren't a good friend, or like to go out and party a lot or whatever, and it just made me feel so alone, made me feel like there's no hope. I'm trying to keep faith that GOd will send me friends, and the kind of relationship I want, but I keep seeing people, it keeps reminding me how alone I am, and I Just can't take it anymore. I hate being alone, I hate having to sit in front of a computer to talk to people, I wish I could text people, or hang out in person, or something, yet I've never been able to find those kind of people here in my town. JUst been on the verge of tears for literally like five hours today. And then I got home, and my mom was annoyed at me cause I hadn't emptied the dishwasher yet (she told me about it yesterday, but today she said she told me four days ago) and it's like, I'd been gone literally all day, and as soon as I come home, she's annoyed at me for not having done something that was physically impossible for me to do. Let alone the fact that I've beeni n the middle of an anxiety attack this pas tweek. She just doesn't care. Just grown up around people who don't care.
Everybody was haiku writing, Their wits were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening, But they wrote with expert rhyming